Why are narcissists so good at hiding their narcissism?

Updated on : January 21, 2022 by Blake Riley



Why are narcissists so good at hiding their narcissism?

They are not.

It is society's general understanding of narcissism that causes people to miss a narcissist when they meet him.

We tend to think of conceited, arrogant, rude, and selfish people as narcissists. We never think of them as kind and charming people.

That is our fatal mistake. The narcissistic charm is his most dangerous trait. That is what absorbs us.

When you first meet a narcissist, they could be one of the nicest people you've ever met. They absorb you, they learn everything about you because they are soooooooo! Interested in you. They discover all the things that make you vulnerable in that

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They are not.

It is society's general understanding of narcissism that causes people to miss a narcissist when they meet him.

We tend to think of conceited, arrogant, rude, and selfish people as narcissists. We never think of them as kind and charming people.

That is our fatal mistake. The narcissistic charm is his most dangerous trait. That is what absorbs us.

When you first meet a narcissist, they could be one of the nicest people you've ever met. They absorb you, they learn everything about you because they are soooooooo! Interested in you. They discover all the things that make you vulnerable in that phase of meeting you ... then they use them against you.

If it is a romantic relationship, they will make you feel loved like no one else has made you feel loved. They will make you believe that they, and that you are meant to be, are soul mates. That is your bombardment of love. And when you are hooked on God help you.

They never hide who they are. We miss Stage 1 of engaging with them. The most dangerous stage. Its charm. Narcissistic charm is an integral part of their mental disorder. They don't hide anything.

Good in the first days because they behave in the best way. In relationships they will be nothing more than charm personified. Quiet but with a quiet tranquility that potential partners find attractive. In a work setting, they seem to be eager to get to know everyone and have this great ability to make an entrance. As friends, they seem to check a lot of boxes and it's fun to be around. Never miss an anecdote, you are always guaranteed a great night out.

That was to start! As we all know, the wheels can come off quickly because no matter how hard they try, the act cannot be sustained.

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Good in the first days because they behave in the best way. In relationships they will be nothing more than charm personified. Quiet but with a quiet tranquility that potential partners find attractive. In a work setting, they seem to be eager to get to know everyone and have this great ability to make an entrance. As friends, they seem to check a lot of boxes and it's fun to be around. Never miss an anecdote, you are always guaranteed a great night out.

That was to start! As we all know, the wheels can come off quickly because no matter how hard they try, the act cannot be sustained. If drug traffickers continue to deceive partners, friends or colleagues over a progressive period of time, then it has nothing to do with the skill set, but rather with the ability of the victim to bestow benefits of the doubt. Most of the time they have an image or mindset of how they want a perfect partner or friend to look and behave. Lo and behold, with so many boxes checked by Mr. or Mrs. Narc, the victim blindly rejects the truth and slaps them between the eyes to prevail that not everything is what it seems. It's not that drug traffickers are good at hiding it. Only sometimes the victims can't see the wood for the trees.

The rose-tinted glasses are eventually removed, but much later than it should have been the case, that at this point the narco is gone.

Suggest reading the chapter '50 Stages to Dating a Narcissist 'in the book titled:

Prepare to be tortured. The price you will pay to date a narcissist. '

Amazon books available.

  • Narcissists are good at hiding their narcissism for a number of reasons.
    • Many people, for example, associate narcissism only with traits similar to the following:
      • confidence
      • be too aggressive
      • pomposity
      • success
    • The above traits are associated with exhibitionist narcissists who are also known as overt or conventional narcissists.
    • Many people are unaware that there are narcissists who have traits that are not often perceived as narcissistic such as the following:
      • shyness
      • passive aggression
      • introversion
      • grandiose dreams unfulfilled
    • Covert narcissists also known as closet or vulnerable narciss
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  • Narcissists are good at hiding their narcissism for a number of reasons.
    • Many people, for example, associate narcissism only with traits similar to the following:
      • confidence
      • be too aggressive
      • pomposity
      • success
    • The above traits are associated with exhibitionist narcissists who are also known as overt or conventional narcissists.
    • Many people are unaware that there are narcissists who have traits that are not often perceived as narcissistic such as the following:
      • shyness
      • passive aggression
      • introversion
      • grandiose dreams unfulfilled
    • Covert narcissists also known as closet or vulnerable narcissists have the above characteristics.
    • In addition to the above, many narcissists can hide their narcissism by stating strongly and often convincingly that they are not narcissists.
    • Rather, narcissists will authoritatively project their unwanted behaviors and aspects of their personality onto others, such as their relationship partners.
    • Lastly, narcissists have an excellent disguise in the form of a metaphorical mask known as the false self.
    • The false selves of narcissists make narcissists appear to have characteristics and traits that they would like to have, but often do not actually possess, such as the following:
      • compassion
      • honesty
      • a calm nature

Narcissists only really try to hide their narcissism in the early / love-bombing stages of a relationship.

This works because narcissists deliberately target victims that they (the narc) have come to the conclusion that they are likely to accept the narcos' 'mask' as their real self, so they carefully choose the supply that is most likely. that falls into the narcissistic 'mask' than in the future. the early stages is just a mirror of the offering.

The narco needs a lot of effort to keep the mask from slipping.

That is why the narcos work so hard to 'win the supply and hook them' early in the love bombing stage. The name of t

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Narcissists only really try to hide their narcissism in the early / love-bombing stages of a relationship.

This works because narcissists deliberately target victims that they (the narc) have come to the conclusion that they are likely to accept the narcos' 'mask' as their real self, so they carefully choose the supply that is most likely. that falls into the narcissistic 'mask' than in the future. the early stages is just a mirror of the offering.

The narco needs a lot of effort to keep the mask from slipping.

That is why the narcos work so hard to 'win the supply and hook them' early in the love bombing stage. The name of the game for the narco is: hook up the supply before they see behind the mask.

Then things move super fast ...

Once the supply is hooked, it doesn't really matter if the mask starts to slip ... because the supply isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

I don't think they are good at hiding it. I think few people know about narcissism, so they get away with it too often. Once you know about narcissism, you can spot them from a mile away. Covert ones are more complicated, that requires a couple of probing conversations, but can still be done easily. Once you know the red flags, you can become a professional narcotics watcher. Okay, you won't know what scale they are on, but my argument has always been: everyone is dangerous to non-drug dealers, so staying away and avoiding any kind of relationship with one is always a good thing. So let's raise awareness of nar

Keep reading

I don't think they are good at hiding it. I think few people know about narcissism, so they get away with it too often. Once you know about narcissism, you can spot them from a mile away. Covert ones are more complicated, that requires a couple of probing conversations, but can still be done easily. Once you know the red flags, you can become a professional narcotics watcher. Okay, you won't know what scale they are on, but my argument has always been: everyone is dangerous to non-drug dealers, so staying away and avoiding any kind of relationship with one is always a good thing. So let's raise awareness about narcissism and red flags. Let's not give them a place to hide, then they can torture each other,

The short answer is:

They have a LIFETIME of experience doing it.

If you did something 18 hours a day for just 10 years, you would probably be the world champion at it. It would certainly be world class.

I have been practicing certain kicks for mixed martial arts: 30 minutes a day for 6 months, the same 4 kicks over and over again. Each kick is now just a reflection, each kick is a perfect mirror of the last kick and the previous one. Perfectly consistent without thinking for a single millisecond.

And it is the same with the narcissist. They have been practicing 10, 12, 14 hours a day since they were 15 years old.

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The short answer is:

They have a LIFETIME of experience doing it.

If you did something 18 hours a day for just 10 years, you would probably be the world champion at it. It would certainly be world class.

I have been practicing certain kicks for mixed martial arts: 30 minutes a day for 6 months, the same 4 kicks over and over again. Each kick is now just a reflection, each kick is a perfect mirror of the last kick and the previous one. Perfectly consistent without thinking for a single millisecond.

And it is the same with the narcissist. They have been practicing 10, 12, 14 hours a day since they were 15 years old. Like me with the kick, he's totally thoughtful. You don't even have to think about it.

If you want to find out how dangerous and destructive a narcissist can be, you can check out my book "DATE ​​WITH HARLEY QUINN - My 3 Years With A Histrionic Narcissist".

It is available on Amazon and in the Apple book store.

For the most part, they don't. We are just bad at admitting it, and once we recognize it, we tend not to want to believe it.

The female Nacissit have not hidden anything today. Look at Cardy B. She openly told you that she drugged men and swallowed money. Metoo feminisme is run by narcissists. Go only to tiktok fans. They will bring the western world to its knees.

  1. Self-contradiction: A hallmark of narcissism is chronic and pathological dissociation, a disorder in which the narcissist unconsciously erases memories (dissociation) and fills lost memories with created fabrications (Confabulation). A narcissist will invariably change his stories when asked certain questions. The stories change day by day because their false memory depends on their state of mind at that moment. I spent 19 months with an undercover somatic narcissist and I can't think of a story or fact he told me that didn't change more than once. They even contradict themselves
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  1. Self-contradiction: A hallmark of narcissism is chronic and pathological dissociation, a disorder in which the narcissist unconsciously erases memories (dissociation) and fills lost memories with created fabrications (Confabulation). A narcissist will invariably change his stories when asked certain questions. The stories change day by day because their false memory depends on their state of mind at that moment. I spent 19 months with an undercover somatic narcissist and I can't think of a story or fact he told me that didn't change more than once. They even contradict themselves in the same sentence.
  2. Pathological lie: They dissociate but also inexorably lie. They lie about everything, big and small, trivial and deep. You'll catch them lying incessantly about everything.
  3. Self-obsessed: My narcissist was obsessed with his body and went to the gym every day. He brushed his teeth 3 times a day, and each time he had 10-15 minutes of brushing! He wore tight clothing to accentuate his physique and was obsessed with diet and nutrition. He was also afraid of getting old and underwent plastic surgery. It would not sit in the sun because it ages the skin.
  4. Cheating: Somatic narcissists have a history of cheating and will most likely cheat on you. I found out that my boyfriend cheated on his ex for 15 years, REGULARLY!
  5. Controller: Narcissists must be in control. What do you do, where do you go, etc. They want to make the decisions and your opinion is often irrelevant.
  6. Gaslighting: They will deny saying the things they said and doing the things they did. They will tell you that you said things that you did not actually say, and they will tell you that you did not say things that you certainly did.
  7. Secret: they never give out more information than is absolutely necessary, they don't like to talk about their past and they keep their phones and what they contain a secret. Their reserved nature will make you somewhat paranoid.
  8. Competitive and envious: A relationship is supposed to be symbiotic: mutually dependent and mutually beneficial. Narcissists are competitive and envious and see everything as a game, a game that must be won. If you do something better, don't expect praise, but contempt.
  9. Paraphilia: Narcissists have a strong propensity for sexual fetishes.
  10. Emotionally cold: Narcissists cannot normally love, and they have a hard time believing that someone can love them. They do not express their emotions. They don't say nice things to you or compliment you.
  11. Narc Speak: They use phrases like "I'm sorry you feel this way" or "We can be friends" or "This is not how I remember it."
  12. Empathy: Narcissists have very, very little, or no empathy. They don't understand how their actions affect other people. My narcissist lied to me about 200 times (that I know of) but I couldn't understand why I couldn't trust him. They cannot make the logical connection between actions and consequences.
  13. Cowards: When the going gets tough, narcissists get going. They run away from challenges, adversity, and problems because it is so much easier than trying to solve the problem at hand. My narcissist regularly told me that his mother taught him to "just walk away" and that is a principle he lives by!
  14. Immature: They have the emotional maturity of a young child and are smug when they don't get their way. In 19 months I couldn't sit down, face to face, and have an adult conversation trying to solve our problems! When I tried, he was too tired, had a headache, or wanted to turn on the radio or television! It was never a good time!
  15. Great: Narcissists believe they are "different" and that only special people can understand them! They really only associate with people they consider special or unique, like them!
  16. Silent Treatment - Narcissists love, and I mean love, silent treatment! They will ignore you whenever they get a chance, and will even start fights just so they can justify their deafening silence!
  17. Money - Narcissists are selfish people who inveterately lie, so it should come as no surprise that they are always "broke." My narcissist couldn't pay much when it was for me or us, but he was constantly buying more designer clothes, underwear, massages, etc.!
  18. Grudges: Narcissists hold grudges like no one I've ever seen! My Narc lost all of his friends because they all offended him in some way and he would refuse to let it go, even 20 years later! He regularly drew my attention to even the smallest things I did or said that offended him months and years before! Most of these things that offended him were insignificant and unimportant! They never forget the things that affect their fragile ego and fragile self-esteem!
  19. Monopolize Conversations: Selfish and self-absorbed, narcissists find conversations dull and boring - unless it's about them! They talk and talk and talk, and when it is your turn to speak, they either speak for you or decide that they need to wash the dishes, feed the dog or do the laundry, etc. They have no real interest in your thoughts or concerns! Even an ordinary conversation with a narcissist is a competition!
  20. Reidealization (aspiration): Narcissists are monolithic, they all follow predictable patterns of behavior! They idealize you, devalue you, then discard you, followed by a re-idealization after a period of abstinence (Ghosting, discarding, silent treatment)! The colloquial term for this re-idealization is Hoovering! If you have left your narcissist, or have been silently given prolonged treatment, or been tricked, expect them to return after days, weeks, or months! Many times they will use the holidays as a pretext to communicate with you! "Merry Christmas, how have you been"! If you accept your vacuum, the cycle of abuse will begin again!
  21. Moody: Narcissists blow hot and cold (Push-Pull)! One day they are on you as if you are the only person on the planet, and the next day they are reluctant! There are potentially a number of plausible explanations for this! First, narcissists tend to suffer from anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Consequently, they have a lot of difficulty regulating their mood! They are also prone to narcissistic injuries that can affect how they feel on any given day! My narcissist played with the stock market; when the market went up, he was excited, but when it went down, it was the end of the world! Additionally, narcissists lack Whole Object Relationships, which is the ability to see oneself and others as a compendium of good and bad, positive and negative. Narcissists have black and white thinking and are extreme, and at any given moment, on any given day, they may see themselves, or you, as good or bad, but not both traits simultaneously! This obviously breeds extreme mood swings! Second, narcissists like to attract attention. One obvious way to do this is to play crazy games with the person you are with; They love Supply, both the negative and the positive! If they can confuse you, sadden you, or anger you, they will get the concomitant attention they crave, their true life blood! Second, narcissists like to attract attention. One obvious way to do this is to play crazy games with the person you are with; They love Supply, both the negative and the positive! If they can confuse you, sadden you, or anger you, they will get the concomitant attention they crave, their true life blood! Second, narcissists like to attract attention. One obvious way to do this is to play crazy games with the person you are with; They love Supply, both the negative and the positive! If they can confuse you, sadden you, or anger you, they will get the concomitant attention they crave, their true life blood!

I discovered, observed, and recorded this information long before I knew that a personality disorder existed! I didn't decide I was a narcissist and then tried to find information to confirm the hypothesis! I had the information, and later I did my research and found that these were all putative NPD traits, both anecdotal and clinical! I love him and miss him, but a narcissist will never change for a very simple reason: because he doesn't want to! I'm not a psychologist, but these people are pernicious, so the best thing you can do is get out of the relationship ASAP! I hope that helps!


> What are the fun things narcissists do?

It took me some difficult moments to understand the following statements. I had a real problem dealing with what she had done. These are the ways I felt it was awkward, or funny! Enjoy! 1. They short-circuit if you do something strange. They short-circuit if they don't know what to do. They love your predictability. It gives them a feeling of calm.
2. They give themselves away. Sustained scrutiny or pressure will show signs of conflicting information. You can...

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I think narcissists generally hide the fact that they have no genuine interest in being part of committed adult relationships.

I think some of the main reasons narcissists are not interested in long-term stable relationships have to do with their preferred lifestyle characteristics.

I think many self-aware narcissists would probably agree with the following:

  • Many narcissists have a "I'm looking at you to take care of me" orientation.
  • Many narcissists are frequently driven by impulses and tend to emphasize instant gratification.
  • Many narcissists have neither the patience nor the mentality to give and take
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I think narcissists generally hide the fact that they have no genuine interest in being part of committed adult relationships.

I think some of the main reasons narcissists are not interested in long-term stable relationships have to do with their preferred lifestyle characteristics.

I think many self-aware narcissists would probably agree with the following:

  • Many narcissists have a "I'm looking at you to take care of me" orientation.
  • Many narcissists are frequently driven by impulses and tend to emphasize instant gratification.
  • Many narcissists don't have the patience or give-and-take mentality that reciprocal relationships need.

Pretending to be motivated by love

I think narcissists will make a concerted effort to pretend that they are interested in having a conventional long-term reciprocal relationship.

Consequently, by making implicit statements and false promises, it is likely that they appear to be genuinely interested in establishing a life with their loved ones.

Narcissistic relationship partners want to induce loved ones to believe that your so-called care and concern for them is not just about obtaining and securing their temporary care provision services.

For example, narcissists will make comments to loved ones like:

  • "You are the person I have been waiting for my whole life."
  • "You and I have a special bond that I have never had with anyone else."
  • "You are the type of person I could imagine spending the rest of my life with."

Many narcissists are likely to make statements like the ones above in an effort to communicate to potential and newly established significant others that they perceive them as more than relatively short-term sources of care provision.

Rather, narcissists imply that they recognize that their important others are separate and distinct individuals with whom they are potentially interested in sharing a future.

Love characterized by its expiration date or limited useful life

Many narcissists are likely to be aware that their "love" for their loved ones has a limited expiration date or "shelf life."

The aforementioned comments may well be asserted, in part, to obscure certain deeply ingrained and consistently present narcissistic relationship dangers.

If narcissists wanted to be honest, at the beginning of any newly discovered love affair, they would communicate the following to their potential loved ones:

  • It's only a matter of time before I get bored, and I inevitably find his attention stale and flat, a matter for which I'll blame him.
  • It is only a matter of time before my mask of false sense of superiority fades, and I begin to seek your negative attention through "selection attacks" by virtue of which I hope to provoke you to shed tears of frustration, exasperation and / or agitation. .
  • It's only a matter of time before the feelings of euphoria that correspond to falling in love begin to subside. At that point, unbeknownst to you, I will be inspired to go on covert attention-acquisition safaris in an effort to secure your replacement.
  • Once he no longer makes me feel good about myself, I'll be sure to start realizing his human imperfections that I had previously overlooked.
  • Inevitably I will begin to find that his human weaknesses are manifestations of his blatant unworthiness. With each passing day, your obvious weakness will annoy me more and more.
  • In time I will begin to wonder what prompted me to let such an inferior and flawed source of attention into my life.
  • Of course, this will also be your fault. I will rationalize to myself that my abuse of you is justified because you have let me down !!
  • Assuming that I am confident that your replacement is ready to begin the provision of a new supply of care, in an unduly harsh manner, I will proceed to immediately begin pointing out the elements of a growing list of its myriad shortcomings.
  • I will abuse you in an effort to scare you away from my life quickly of your own free will. This will relieve me of the guilt I might feel fleetingly for having betrayed you.
  • Also, by "motivating" you to choose to leave on your own, I hope to avoid the potential embarrassment that I might have to endure if others observe how I try to expel you from my life.
  • I'll put up a whole court press subjecting you to withering torrents of abuse. When this happens, I am in a no-lose situation.
  • If I can get you out of my life for the moment, I win. If, on the other hand, you insist on weathering my category five hurricane of abuse, I will feel a surge of power.
  • I will be dizzy with power when I see how I can abuse you to a state of utter despair; however, nonetheless, you endure because you still want to pay homage to your deity: me !!
  • It would only be a matter of time before he just gave you the "hahaha". From then on, I won't have to worry about you bothering me as I enjoy the best part of my new relationship cycle with your replacement module.
  • Of course, if you betrayed me in the same way that I have betrayed you, I would go mad with rage. I'd probably start brooding and fantasizing about precipitating your 24/7 destruction.
  • However, because I do not have the ability to experience empathy, whenever I seek satisfaction of my needs, it never occurs to me that I should be aware of how they might be affected by my actions.
  • Even if my betrayal of you somehow caused me some level of discomfort or concern, I would feel better in no time.
  • I would rewrite the narrative of our relationship where I would designate you for treating me like a dog, and as a consequence, I simply had no choice but to assign you the status of a deserving villain. In other words, I would paint you black and then start to despise you.
  • If you think that due to the fact that you have provided the unconditional, non-judgmental love that I have been longing for all my life, you can forget about it.
  • I'm not the sentimental type because I think displays of emotion are weak and pathetic because that's how my caregivers made me feel as a child.
  • Therefore, you will waste your time trying to remind me of all the good times and countless heartfelt conversations.
  • You've probably already realized that I can manipulate myself to forget the past, so that every day I get the equivalent of a factory reset.
  • When I "reset", I revert to all my default settings, so to speak. When that happens, my previous memories are essentially erased.
  • Furthermore, as long as I have a source of provision of attention to occupy my mind, you do not exist.
  • Hey, whatever your name is, try to remember that my false sense of superiority forces me to insist that I am the one who chooses to do what I consider appropriate, whenever I see fit, and not the other way around! !
  • So, if at some point in the future I need you, maybe I'll call you ... until then ... see you ... I'm out ...

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