When you live in a place that is dark for many months, how can you keep your spirits high?

Updated on : January 21, 2022 by Benjamin Newman



When you live in a place that is dark for many months, how can you keep your spirits high?

Focus on the light. There is always other energy that you can bring. I am not trying to belittle the darkness or what you are going through, but I know you will get over it. Do little things to nurture your soul and help you. Focus on the positive things and take advantage of the inspiration around you. Wherever you are, you can find inspiration - in the sun, the trees, the plants, all around you. Begin to see life as a seeker. Think more deeply about life. Understand what you are going to do ...

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When you live in a place that is dark for many months, how can you keep your spirits high?


Interesting question.

Here are some things that come to mind;

  • Get outside and gaze up at the beautiful stars.
  • The darker it is, the more stars can be seen.
  • In total darkness, even small stars shine brightly.
  • Paint a shiny piece of art and hang it in your space if possible.
  • Use this as an opportunity to seek out and focus on what is positive and beautiful that is normally overlooked or under-appreciated.

Go in, stay with the goodness outside the body, here as much as you can, use the darkness to immerse yourself in the stillness of being ... This too will pass ... love to you, dear heart ...

I have a sassy and sexy wife. As a couple we have done many fun acts and sexual adventures. But once we were so trapped that we are alive today it is only by the grace of God. That incident was a revelation for us. After that incident, we have decided that we will not do such risky acts again. This incident is a great defeat for us. I feel ashamed in front of my wife when this incident comes to mind. We tried so hard to forget this, but still this incident is very fresh in our memory. The incident occurred due to my ignorance and overconfidence. I share that incident step by step.

In fir

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I have a sassy and sexy wife. As a couple we have done many fun acts and sexual adventures. But once we were so trapped that we are alive today it is only by the grace of God. That incident was a revelation for us. After that incident, we have decided that we will not do such risky acts again. This incident is a great defeat for us. I feel ashamed in front of my wife when this incident comes to mind. We tried so hard to forget this, but still this incident is very fresh in our memory. The incident occurred due to my ignorance and overconfidence. I share that incident step by step.

In the first confinement, my wife showed her desire to find a prostitute online. So I allowed him this. Found a prostitute online. She had a chat with him and after this she had a video chat with him. After that, they made a plan. According to the plan, the child will come to our house and take her home. But he was worried about this. He couldn't allow her to go alone. Then my wife asked if my husband could come with me. He agreed with this. They set a meeting date. On the day of the date the boy comes home and hangs out with us. After this, my wife and I accompanied him in his car. That time I was so ignorant that I didn't even ask him where we were going. He took us to his country house in a remote area of ​​Haryana. This time I did not take my service revolver because of my overconfidence. My wife does not take anything with her. She wears a sexy backless outfit. I took my wallet and my cell phone. He takes us to his country house. There was no one in his country house. He tells us that he has given his servants permission. So here we are only three present and we will enjoy. My wife and I were quite satisfied with it. Because it was the perfect situation my wife wanted. He slowly begins to touch my wife and ask her to change her clothes. But my wife reminds him that he has not come with clothes. So he gives my wife nightwear and asks her to change her clothes. She changes her clothes and comes back in lingerie. It was a nightgown. They start having an affair, kissing and kissing. I was present there and I was very happy to see my wife enjoying her fantasy. After that, they have started having sex. After having a round of sex, they both go to the kitchen. My wife cooks for us. Everything is going well. At night he takes my wife to her room and they enjoy the whole night. During this they also enjoy in the pool. He fucks my wife in different places. Gives you an erotic massage. My wife gives him a blowjob and licks his ass. In the morning they both sleep hugging each other. I also sleep. So far all things happen on our way but in the morning around 11 o'clock I hear some men's voices. I wake up in a hurry and try to understand the situation. There were 5 men standing by the bed my wife and her partner slept on. The child wakes up in a hurry and dresses in his clothes. My wife tries to stop him but he leaves that place. I follow him and ask him what's going on here, but he's leaving the country house. I try to stop him, but my wife screams from inside, so I run towards her, but 2 men stop me to go towards my wife. I was surprised by this. I ask them what's going on and then they explain that they usually catch girls with this guy's help. This guy looks handsome, so many girls fall in love with him. He catches the girls and takes them to his country house. After this, he takes his amount and hands us that girl. I ask them what they do with the girls. They laugh and say that you will witness this. Wait and see what we do to your wife. It was completely blank. So I asked them to meet my wife once. But they won't let me. I start to fight with them but after this two of them start beating my wife. Then I have to control myself. I ask that my wife do whatever they say, but in front of my eyes. But they tie me with ropes near a pole. Where I can hear my wife's screaming voice only. After two hours my wife comes to me completely naked with 2 men. These two men warn her that if she does not obey their orders, they will brutally beat her husband. They were blackmailing us. They treated my wife like a slave. She was cooking for them. He was serving them alcohol. She was dancing for them. She was giving them a blowjob. She lays on his lap so they can play with her tits. No clothing was allowed. They take off our clothes. My wife and I were completely naked. They fuck my wife 12-15 times a day in front of me. I was helpless at the time. 3 days have passed. We ask them to leave us but they say that his wife has so many sexy boobs that they cannot leave her so early. You will never find such huge tits. My wife says they can do anything to her but leave us. They say they will leave us in little condition. I ask about the conditions. They count four conditions.

  1. You have to write two handwritten notes with your signature that you are a prostitute and you came here for the money. No one has forced her to do anything. She does all things for money.
  2. She has to shoot some porn videos.
  3. You have to go to a hotel room where you will meet a person. The person will fuck her.
  4. She has to go to a house where she will meet a person who will fuck her.

So we accept their conditions because we have no other choice.

So first of all, my wife writes two handwritten notes in which she writes that she is a prostitute and that she came here for money. She is writing this note without any pressure. No one had sex with her without her consent.

After this they ask for the filming of some porn videos.

You have to record 3 porn videos. A cameraman and a light man arrive there. They set up their camera and their light.

In the first video she performs solo sex with a vibrator.

In the second video the gardener of the farmhouse fucks her with the mask on.

In the third video she is fucked by the driver in her room.

After recording these pornos, the cameraman and the light man also fuck my wife.

After all this they give my wife a sexy outfit and ask her to sit in the car. They won't let me go with her. It was a night that he was so worried but I am assured that his wife will be safe. So the driver takes her to the beauty salon and warns her not to do anything smart, otherwise her husband won't stay alive. My wife was following his orders. In the beauty salon, my wife prepares for her client. After putting on makeup, she was ready to go see her client. The driver takes her to the 5-star hotel where she goes to a room where a man was waiting for her. He spent the whole night with the man. The man fucks her at night. In the morning the driver takes her to a house that was in the outer zone. The driver forcefully removes her dress and tells her that it is the order she must follow. So after taking off her clothes, he locks her in the house and tells her that she can get some rest here. After this, the driver left the scene. My wife tries to escape from there but there was no way to escape. So she waited there. My wife was in a house without clothes. After an hour a lady comes and gives my wife 20,000 rupees and the keys to the house. My wife asks about the clothes, but says she will receive them soon. After the lady leaves that place. A few minutes later, two men come to the house and start touching my wife forcefully. My wife shows some resistance but is warned that her husband is still there. After this they forcefully fuck my wife. They fuck my wife so bad. After finishing sex, these men wear their clothes. My wife asks for their clothes. But suddenly two policemen with two policewomen enter the room and arrest them all. My wife was surprised to see the police. She was completely naked. The police searched the house and got my wife's dress that she was wearing when we went to the farmhouse. They receive a handwritten note from her and the house keys and Rs 20,000. During this two men tell the police that they were called by her and she took 20,000 for this. The police allow them to escape from there. The police lady slaps my wife and insults her because she does prostitution work here. The police give her the dress and tell her to accompany them to the police station. She wears her dress. My wife was arrested by the police. She goes to the police station with them. They force her to sit on the floor.

I was at the farm house when my phone rings. They give me my phone and my clothes and tell me to get out of here. I put on my clothes in a hurry and leave that place in a hurry. After leaving the country house, I call the number and they tell me that my wife has been arrested for prostitution. It was shocking to me after this, I asked them for the address of the police station. I take a motorcyclist's elevator. And then he rents a car to get to the police station. When I get to the police station, my wife sees me and runs up to me and hugs me tightly. The cops try to separate us. I go to the deputy inspector and ask him about the charges. Then he shows me the handwritten note from her and 10,000 rupees they found from my wife. I ask the sub-inspector to come. He comes with me. I ask you for an agreement. It says ' It's too late. But I ask repeatedly. finally accepts. He assures that he will not bring any case against her. I ask him the amount. An agent sends us who informs me about the payment and the method of payment. I go to the bank with my wife and take 12 lac rupees and give it to a nearby showroom. After doing all this, I take the car and arrive at our house. My wife and I were crying a lot. The next day I took my 3-month leave from the office and went to my hometown with my wife. My wife was in metal trauma for two three months. This incident took a long time to get over. After this incident I took the transfer from Delhi. Now I am in Chennai. Our life has completely changed after this incident. An agent sends us who informs me about the payment and the method of payment. I go to the bank with my wife and take 12 lac rupees and give it to a nearby showroom. After doing all this, I take the car and arrive at our house. My wife and I were crying a lot. The next day I took my 3-month leave from the office and went to my hometown with my wife. My wife was in metal trauma for two three months. This incident took a long time to get over. After this incident I took the transfer from Delhi. Now I am in Chennai. Our life has completely changed after this incident. An agent sends us who informs me about the payment and the method of payment. I go to the bank with my wife and take 12 lac rupees and give it to a nearby showroom. After doing all this, I take the car and arrive at our house. My wife and I were crying a lot. The next day I took my 3-month leave from the office and went to my hometown with my wife. My wife was in metal trauma for two three months. This incident took a long time to get over. After this incident I took the transfer from Delhi. Now I am in Chennai. Our life has completely changed after this incident. The next day I took my 3-month leave from the office and went to my hometown with my wife. My wife was in metal trauma for two three months. This incident took a long time to get over. After this incident I took the transfer from Delhi. Now I am in Chennai. Our life has completely changed after this incident. The next day I took my 3-month leave from the office and went to my hometown with my wife. My wife was in metal trauma for two three months. This incident took a long time to get over. After this incident I took the transfer from Delhi. Now I am in Chennai. Our life has completely changed after this incident.

They were very smart people. They used my wife very intelligently. First they hire a handsome guy who can catch a pretty girl or family women. After catching the girl, he fucks the girls and delivers them to her. They fuck the girl and enjoy with her for a few days. After this, they make pornographic movies of her and sell them on the apps or on the internet. After this, a handwritten note is taken away from him so that he cannot prove his innocence. They send it to their client for money or to do their favor. They send my wife to a famous lawyer in a 5-star hotel. After this, the girl is sent to a house where the police can raid and prove that she is a prostitute. Later, that girl will tell the police about her identity and about her parents. Her parents will give them all their savings to save their daughter. Those people are so powerful and they work together.

So this was my wife's last adventure. She is recovering from this incident. I am also struggling to forget this incident. This is the biggest loss of my life and I have never told anyone about this incident. It's the dirtiest secret of my life.

Hey, I'll do my best to make you understand why you need to stay alive.

In the time it takes you to read this, some others in the world have already taken their own lives. You are still alive, so you still have time to choose otherwise. Because suicide is a choice you must make. It is not a choice that can be made for you. I'm not here to convince you not to. I am here to help you make a decision that you can live or die with in peace. It will take you about 5 minutes of your life, a life that you do not see that it makes much sense to continue. But since you found your way here, another

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Hey, I'll do my best to make you understand why you need to stay alive.

In the time it takes you to read this, some others in the world have already taken their own lives. You are still alive, so you still have time to choose otherwise. Because suicide is a choice you must make. It is not a choice that can be made for you. I'm not here to convince you not to. I am here to help you make a decision that you can live or die with in peace. It will take you about 5 minutes of your life, a life that you do not see that it makes much sense to continue. But since you found your way here, another 5 minutes probably won't hurt.

It's not your fault. You are not a bad person, nor a weak person. In fact, you are a very strong person and I don't even know you. Why can I say that about you? Because you are here and you are reading this. Anyone who has been through so much pain, torment, and anguish to think about suicide is someone who is very strong because they are still alive. It takes strength to keep going and, in fact, perhaps more strength than you have now. That is why you are here. That is why you have come to Quora.

Consider this ... Everyone considers suicide at some point in their lives.

All the world. Anyone who says they never have, not even for a fleeting moment, is lying. That makes what you are feeling right now completely normal. It's part of life.

Remember, suicide is a temporary feeling and reaction to overwhelming pain. Suicide is a very permanent solution to this temporary issue. Imagine destroying an entire city to rid it of a single cockroach. When we decide to kill ourselves, that is the equivalent of what we are doing. We are taking all potential, hope, possible future achievements (big and small), creativity, history and life, and destroying them to get rid of a feeling, Pain.

That is what I have tried to do here, to help you understand that suicide is a temporary feeling of wanting to do something to stop all the pain, stop the heartbreak, stop the misery in your life. But these things, pain, anguish and misery, are feelings. Relief from those feelings will come anyway, whether you choose to die or not. You really don't have a choice about it. In time you will feel better, whether you want it or not. Because even the kind of pain you feel right now is not permanent (no matter how much you feel it will never end). Will finish.

So the real choice is whether to end it now, immediately, and never feel anything again. No pain relief. There is no possible joy in the future. Without happiness. No additional pain. Loveless. No friendship. Any.

Or to find a way, either way, to cope and cope with the pain for one more day. And then another. And then another. Until it begins, slowly, to calm down. And you remember that life is not just pain. He has friends. Has family. I could have love again. And it might be worth holding onto to see what possibilities exist in your future.

I hope that after reading this, you make the decision to live.

Good luck with your decision. You are not alone, even now.

Thanks.

I spend the day thinking.

I'm thinking about Monday, my infusion date ... I always feel better mentally after an infusion.

I'm thinking of someone I might meet one day ... if you wear a mask like me.

I look forward to Tuesday, November 3 ... an American election in which I have already voted in the hope of an alternative.

I'm ordering Christmas for a daughter I don't see ... I miss her more than I can say.

My spirit is fluid. I take the emotions and the days as they come now. I struggled to feel what I didn't feel, for too long. I can't help but wish "things" were different. Money leaves me little today

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I spend the day thinking.

I'm thinking about Monday, my infusion date ... I always feel better mentally after an infusion.

I'm thinking of someone I might meet one day ... if you wear a mask like me.

I look forward to Tuesday, November 3 ... an American election in which I have already voted in the hope of an alternative.

I'm ordering Christmas for a daughter I don't see ... I miss her more than I can say.

My spirit is fluid. I take the emotions and the days as they come now. I struggled to feel what I didn't feel, for too long. I can't help but wish "things" were different. Money leaves me little today other than to survive, but I am happy. The search for immortality directs my government. My kids take college courses online, they are not willing to die from burnout.

I take a kiss that you blew on me and thank you. I read your words and feel comfort. My thoughts are free.

I am you. ❤️ Today we are aware.

90+ Spirit Quotes ideas in 2020 | quotes, spiritual quotes, inspirational quotes

** Disclaimer: I use bold letters due to optic neuritis, multiple sclerosis. It is for medical reasons. I suggest not leaving a comment if this bothers someone **

I'm a person who gets depressed easily and everything in a minute sucks.

But I haven't killed myself yet. Sometimes I feel like I'm not moving if I'm running. At least I'm moving. When the time gets tough, there is emotional waste, I keep it inside because you can't let them go out in public and when I get home, I close the doors, turn off the lights and sit quietly, doing nothing and crying.

I speak to myself. I discovered that there is nothing better if you can express your emotions through your voice. Sometimes I wish I could talk to my journal. But more than a diary what helps me is talking to myself.

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I'm a person who gets depressed easily and everything in a minute sucks.

But I haven't killed myself yet. Sometimes I feel like I'm not moving if I'm running. At least I'm moving. When the time gets tough, there is emotional waste, I keep it inside because you can't let them go out in public and when I get home, I close the doors, turn off the lights and sit quietly, doing nothing and crying.

I speak to myself. I discovered that there is nothing better if you can express your emotions through your voice. Sometimes I wish I could talk to my journal. But more than a diary what helps me is talking to myself.

I know people will say that I am crazy. But you know that when I walk home and see an old woman talking to herself, she may be mentally ill, but I don't feel that angry.

Whenever I am alone, I talk to myself, I encourage myself with my own voice, saying the things that I can control. Sometimes I sit in front of the mirror and speak. Talk about what is happening, see me, ask me. I don't know the reason but it works for me.

For you there are many things you can do, whatever you like and what suits you.

Exercise: Oh man, someone actually said it's a miracle. I do not know how, but it works. Running in the morning when the road is quiet and you're panting and sweating. It works, make it part of your schedule.

Listen to music: just listen to what you want and start singing.

Cry: If you feel the need to cry, do it. sit in the toilet and cry. It doesn't weaken you, but it makes you feel like some burden has been lifted from your heart. nea

Dance: Don't be a professional, but dance like anything. Obviously you can do it alone in the room, but dance with your heart.

Diaries: Those who are not crazy like me to talk to themselves, can write in a diary. I do. I write everything from jealousy to everything, every thought. I write it on laptop (electronic journalism). I don't know, but when I have written my heart, positive thoughts start to come in, which is not so bad. Again, there may be some psychology, but it helps. But be true to your journal, you want to write jargon, write it, you want to curse someone, write it, write every thought you have.

Hobby: The most important thing I do is when I feel depressed, I stop everything and do what I like. You can paint, read, watch series of anything, but do not let those negative and creepy thoughts. If they started to arrive, they will linger inside your brain like a thick fog and leave you seriously mentally drained.

Here are God's promises to you personally from the Bible. Read them out loud now.

Because they did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but they have received the Spirit of adoption as sons (and daughters), for whom we cry out: “Abba! Father! "(Romans 8:15)

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Who will I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Who am I afraid of? (Psalm 27: 1)

When I'm scared, I trust you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not have fear. What can meat do to me? (Psalm 56: 3-4)

Because I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels

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Here are God's promises to you personally from the Bible. Read them out loud now.

Because they did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but they have received the Spirit of adoption as sons (and daughters), for whom we cry out: “Abba! Father! "(Romans 8:15)

The Lord is my light and my salvation; Who will I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Who am I afraid of? (Psalm 27: 1)

When I'm scared, I trust you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not have fear. What can meat do to me? (Psalm 56: 3-4)

For I am sure that neither death nor life, neither angels nor rulers, neither the present nor the future, neither the powers, neither the height nor the depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8: 38–39)

That is why we have come to know and believe in the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him. In this love with us is perfected, so that we have confidence for the day of judgment, because just as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. Because fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (1 John 4: 16-18)

… And my personal response to you is that God, the Lord Jesus Christ loves you and cares about you and your situation. He knows all of our thoughts, but only He can truly calm them. Turn to Him now and say the name of Jesus ... ask Him to comfort you and He will, I promise. does it for me. He will do it for you. First ask him to forgive your sins and then ask Jesus for his Holy Spirit to give you peace of mind. It will.

Tell;

Dear Lord Jesus Christ. Please forgive me all my sins as I forgive everyone else for their mistakes against me. Take away this fear and console me with your love. Send your Holy Spirit now to rest on me and protect me, in Jesus name. Amen.

If you have said that prayer, you are saved and a Christian. Here is the promise of Jesus again for you ...

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, with prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 6–7)

Read all of these verses out loud. Because the words of the Bible are a sword that evil spirits hate. You are safe in Christ. Do not be afraid. No harm will happen to you.

Read these verses before you sleep out loud every night and pray to Jesus.

For a better understanding, I am telling you the story of my friend. That guy was so ambitious for his job but he lacked discipline. So when you started a job you could work on it for 2-3 days and then just distract yourself with different activities. After watching some motivational videos and losing 5-6 days again, I used to get back on track. And he did his own work. And the same cycle repeats.

But this is not the way to keep him motivated. keep your spirits up and josh up high.

Today I realize that he is very good at his job, he does it correctly. Also keep a good physique. And when asking

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For a better understanding, I am telling you the story of my friend. That guy was so ambitious for his job but he lacked discipline. So when you started a job you could work on it for 2-3 days and then just distract yourself with different activities. After watching some motivational videos and losing 5-6 days again, I used to get back on track. And he did his own work. And the same cycle repeats.

But this is not the way to keep him motivated. keep your spirits up and josh up high.

Today I realize that he is very good at his job, he does it correctly. Also keep a good physique. And when he asked me he told me how he achieves the changes in his life.

Everything is briefly described below.

  • Some people watch different motivational videos and listen to some great speeches to cheer themselves up. And it works too, but how long? A mentor is helpful too, but so is a class period. So how do you get it permanently?
  • Stand in front of a mirror and make eye contact with yourself? Be honest and ask yourself questions about yourself, your goals in your life.
  • Make a map of all the answers you are getting. You don't need to write them down as well.
  • After these you will obviously get different ways of implementing the ideas and doing it. Make the changes that your heart is bringing you closer to in your daily life.
  • The most important thing is to know the mind. Different tricks are played to divert us from the goal. Understand and control it. It has been said that “The mind can be the greatest slave. Don't make him the teacher. "
  • When your mind tells you not to do a job. Force yourself for just 5 Minuit on that job and see the result.
  • It is also obvious that at some point you will feel depressed. It's okay. Just compare your yesterday to today and move on. Remember never ever compare yourself to anyone. That will make you jealous.
  • And it is better to exercise regularly. Which not only gives you a better shape, but also makes you stronger mentally.

The most important factor is being honest and sincere with yourself.

Thank you for reading.

JAI HIND.

Read this -:

On the first day of the term, a university professor stood in front of his philosophy class with an empty jar.
Without saying a word to his students, he removed the lid from the jar and filled it with golf balls. When there were no more golf balls to fit in, he closed the jar with its lid. She then asked her class, "Would you say the jar is full now?" His students looked at the jar and concluded that the jar was full.
The professor then proceeded to open the jar and began inserting marbles into the jar. The marbles began to fill in the spaces between the golf balls. After sealing the jar, he

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Read this -:

On the first day of the term, a university professor stood in front of his philosophy class with an empty jar.
Without saying a word to his students, he removed the lid from the jar and filled it with golf balls. When there were no more golf balls to fit in, he closed the jar with its lid. She then asked her class, "Would you say the jar is full now?" His students looked at the jar and concluded that the jar was full.
The professor then proceeded to open the jar and began inserting marbles into the jar. The marbles began to fill in the spaces between the golf balls. After sealing the jar, he asked his class once more if they thought the jar was now full. The class concluded that the jar was already full.
The professor opened the jar for the third time and began to pour sand. Obviously, the sand began to fill in the spaces between the golf balls and the marbles. He then sealed the jar and asked his class for the third time if the jar was full. His class chuckled and responded in unison, "Yeah, it's full now!"
The professor opened the jug and poured two small cups of coffee into the jug. The liquid had completely filled the space between the golf balls, the marbles, and the grains of sand. Then his lecture began.
“I hope you realize that life is a lot like this jar. Golf balls represent the important things in life, such as God, family, loved ones, health, things that concern you intimately. If we lost everything else in life, our lives would still be 'full'. Marbles are the other important things in our life, but our happiness should not depend on them. Things like our job, our house, our car, etc. Finally, the sand represents everything else; the little things.
“If we filled our jar with sand first, we wouldn't have had enough room for marbles or golf balls. If we spend all our life and energy on the small things, we will not have room for the important things. "

After a brief moment of silence, one of the students asked, "Professor, what does the coffee represent?"

"Ah, I'm glad you asked," replied the teacher. "It means that no matter how full your life is, there is always room for a cup of coffee with a friend."

There used to be, my oldest son. Unfortunately, he passed away 4 years ago. It had that magical quality. It could lift anyone's spirits. He was a beautiful person, but sometimes he could have a dark side.

It never lasted long, his estranged wife had a way of pushing his buttons. When he did, he would call me or come to my house.

He was like me, he had OCD. Sometimes he would come home after working a 12-hour shift. The house would be dirty, so he would clean his house. God knows, if I asked him why he hadn't done anything. She would start yelling obscenities at him.

He refused to let her unt

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There used to be, my oldest son. Unfortunately, he passed away 4 years ago. It had that magical quality. It could lift anyone's spirits. He was a beautiful person, but sometimes he could have a dark side.

It never lasted long, his estranged wife had a way of pushing his buttons. When he did, he would call me or come to my house.

He was like me, he had OCD. Sometimes he would come home after working a 12-hour shift. The house would be dirty, so he would clean his house. God knows, if I asked him why he hadn't done anything. She would start yelling obscenities at him.

He refused to leave her until his daughters were older. His youngest daughter turned 18 a month after his death.

He was a comedian at heart. He loved to make people laugh. When he was 16 he went to Alabama with my mom to visit family. He hadn't seen them in years.

My mother's sister threw a party, invited all her middle-aged friends to meet him. This was in the early nineties. They wanted me to teach them to dance.

They all drank, he didn't drink. This is recorded. My mom was recording the entire party. My aunt said, as she danced slowly with him. I know you are not supposed to marry your cousins, but what about your nephew?

He called me the next day, said mom, you have to get me away from these women. They're driving me crazy. When I arrive home. I saw the tape. It was hilarious. Everyone was playing and having a good time.

I haven't seen him since, he and my mom died. They died the same year. He may find the courage somewhere someday to see it. But I miss it. He called me almost every day. Just to chat. And make me laugh Thanks for reading this. May God bless you and protect you from harm always.

Ann, I guess we're all in the same boat. I'm running an article that I came across in the New York Times this morning that answers your question better than it could. I hope this helps.

(Daniel Fishel / For The Washington Post)

By Amanda Ripley

March 17, 2020 at 5:01 pm EDT

Amanda Ripley is an Atlantic contributing writer and author of "The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Why."

What if we were told that the best way to slow the spread of the coronavirus pandemic was to smoke 15 cigarettes a day? What would you do?

Loneliness, we know from research, can be so bad for your health.

Keep reading

Ann, I guess we're all in the same boat. I'm running an article that I came across in the New York Times this morning that answers your question better than it could. I hope this helps.

(Daniel Fishel / For The Washington Post)

By Amanda Ripley

March 17, 2020 at 5:01 pm EDT

Amanda Ripley is an Atlantic contributing writer and author of "The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and Why."

What if we were told that the best way to slow the spread of the coronavirus pandemic was to smoke 15 cigarettes a day? What would you do?

Loneliness, we know from research, can be as harmful to health as smoking. It is more predictive of mortality than obesity. And loneliness itself was a pandemic long before COVID-19 got its name. (Between 1990 and 2010, the number of Americans who said they had no one to trust tripled.)

Therefore, canceling church, school, work and sports means that we are doing something that can be dangerous to our health, in order to save lives.

More coverage of the coronavirus pandemic

Sounds like a trap. But it's more like a balancing act, a seesaw that we all have to ride now. You can upset one side and keep your balance, but only if you change what's on the other.

I've heard a lot about what not to do. Now is the time to talk about what we can do. "Look, I wash my hands a lot," says Monica Schoch-Spana, a medical anthropologist at the Johns Hopkins Center for Health Security. "But if that's all people are told, it only gets you so far."

There are at least four specific activities that can help make up for all the things we're not doing, based on research and my conversations with disaster experts, psychologists, and epidemiologists.

Loneliness creates a kind of toxic chain reaction in our body: it produces stress and the chronic release of stress hormones suppresses our immune response and triggers inflammation. And the elderly, who are at higher risk of dying from COVID-19, are more likely to say they feel lonely.

Fear also triggers the release of stress hormones. And a pandemic involves huge amounts of uncertainty - by definition, the kind that won't go away quickly. That kind of ongoing stress is hard for anyone to handle.

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So what is the antidote? First, anyone who can exercise should exercise more now, every day. Physical exercise reduces stress and stimulates immune function. “Outdoor activities are good. Going for a walk, riding a bike, all of that is great, ”says Caitlin M. Rivers, an epidemiologist at Johns Hopkins. You can even do this with a friend, assuming you both feel healthy and aren't in high-risk groups (and assuming you stay six feet apart in places like San Francisco, where public health officials have directed it). "Our overall goal is to reduce the amount of contacts we have with other people, but a balance has to be found." And there has never been an easier time to exercise without getting outside or hitting the gym. (My current "gym" is on my phone, through apps like Aaptiv, as well as free online yoga classes.)

Second, social closure. (Yes, it turns out that's a word.) Relationships are as good for the immune system as exercise. In a meta-analysis of 148 studies that followed more than 300,000 people for an average of eight years, researchers found that positive social relationships gave people a 50 percent greater chance of surviving over time compared to people with weak social ties. This connection had a greater impact on mortality than smoking cessation.

To keep your relationships going, the phone is your lifeline. I have set a personal goal to talk (actually talk, not text) with one or two friends, older neighbors, or family members on the phone every day until this pandemic ends.

The only advantage to all the disasters I have covered over the past two decades is that people feel a strong urge to come together and help each other. So far, I've seen that same trend among friends and neighbors, despite social distancing, and we all have to work to maintain it. The coronavirus gives us an excuse to communicate with each other.

The third antidote is mindfulness. If you have resisted this trend so far, now may be the time to reconsider. Meditation reduces inflammation and improves our immune functions, literally undoing the damage of self-isolation. There is evidence that prayer can have a similar effect.

I have been using the Headspace meditation app for 10 minutes every day for the past two years. The big surprise is that meditation is not about clearing the mind. It's about managing your attention and it's a difficult skill to learn without some kind of guidance. It may sound a bit woo woo, but science is persuasive. More persuasive than other things we do (like taking multivitamins).

Fourth, do something small for someone else. In surveys, people say that volunteering gives them a sense of purpose and reduces anxiety. In Ireland, a woman named Helen O'Rahilly has helped organize nearly 6,000 volunteers to help the elderly and those with immune problems buy food, almost entirely through Twitter. In Louisville, Erin Hinson is connecting volunteers with people in need using Google Docs. My son and another boy on our street created flyers that offered to help run errands for anyone who can't get out.

Wherever they occur, disasters have a way of revealing our pre-existing weaknesses. But they also open up opportunities. I have seen this over and over again, from communities destroyed by Hurricane Katrina to families devastated by 9/11. There is a golden hour after disaster strikes, an opportunity to come together and build resilience.

But this does not happen automatically. We have to seize the opportunity, without fear. Viruses can be contagious, but so is courage.

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