What should I tell my boyfriend if he asks me to quit my job?

Updated on : January 21, 2022 by Matilda Clay



What should I tell my boyfriend if he asks me to quit my job?

Both Gwen S and Lee-Ann Fargher-Knowles wrote excellent responses. They always do :) Your advice is spot on.

Just one more consideration, and I'm only mentioning it because your question sparked a question of its own: Do you have any inclination to stay at your job in the other country after the project ends? Could you really feel good about the overall experience and wish it lasted longer? I can totally imagine being in a new place, working for two years in a cool place, making new friends, and wanting to stay. I can also imagine my boyfriend picking up on my penchant for staying and getting

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Both Gwen S and Lee-Ann Fargher-Knowles wrote excellent responses. They always do :) Your advice is spot on.

Just one more consideration, and I'm only mentioning it because your question sparked a question of its own: Do you have any inclination to stay at your job in the other country after the project ends? Could you really feel good about the overall experience and wish it lasted longer? I can totally imagine being in a new place, working for two years in a cool place, making new friends, and wanting to stay. I can also imagine my boyfriend recognizing my inclination to stay and getting angry and demanding for it. He might be scared because you're not coming home at all. You may want to assure you that this is not happening.

Difficult call. It is quite remarkable that you have managed to maintain the relationship for so long. It would be a shame to lose it. Can it respect your need to complete the project you are working on? You are so close. It will be so emotionally satisfying to stick with him to the end. Can you be patient for two more months? Is there anything I can do, besides quitting, to intensify the contact? Skype? Send more text messages? A short visit in any direction? Any Go-Pro video of your life?

I think it would be bad for their relationship if he quit and went home. You would always think about what you couldn't finish.

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Difficult call. It is quite remarkable that you have managed to maintain the relationship for so long. It would be a shame to lose it. Can it respect your need to complete the project you are working on? You are so close. It will be so emotionally satisfying to stick with him to the end. Can you be patient for two more months? Is there anything I can do, besides quitting, to intensify the contact? Skype? Send more text messages? A short visit in any direction? Any Go-Pro video of your life?

I think it would be bad for their relationship if he quit and went home. You would always think about what you couldn't finish. It will stay on your mind. You will feel some resentment towards your boyfriend. You will feel that you have been in control and that you do not have an equal relationship.

In my opinion, he is the one who must commit, no matter how difficult it may be. Two months are not forever. On the other hand, you should return immediately after the project ends. If you don't, you will doubt your commitment, and rightly so.

Tell him exactly that. 2 years is a long time, but an additional 2 months is nothing. He'll be fine. There will be difficult times and difficult situations throughout your life. If it's someone you're considering a lifetime partnership, the way they deal with this adversity will tell you A LOT about what kind of partner they will be.

Tell him exactly what you wrote here: you signed up for the project, you don't want to quit, you want to see it through to the end, and it would negatively affect how you are viewed and thought about. yourself if you quit smoking. You are not a coward.

Maybe I'll have him come visit you for a while. That will bring you back together and break the time you are apart.

Good luck on your project.

Being someone who has been traveling (and moving) a lot, I would like to offer my two cents.

You shouldn't have to change yourself or anyone's lifestyle. However, I wondered "Would I ever regret leaving my job when I sat at home thinking about it?" If the answer is no, go ahead and close it. If it's something like "maybe", "probably" or even "I'm not sure" then don't do it.

It would also help if you create a spreadsheet that lists all the pros and cons of quitting VS not doing it. Then look at it and decide. (Perhaps, teach it to someone close to you as well. A second couple of

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Being someone who has been traveling (and moving) a lot, I would like to offer my two cents.

You shouldn't have to change yourself or anyone's lifestyle. However, I wondered "Would I ever regret leaving my job when I sat at home thinking about it?" If the answer is no, go ahead and close it. If it's something like "maybe", "probably" or even "I'm not sure" then don't do it.

It would also help if you create a spreadsheet that lists all the pros and cons of quitting VS not doing it. Then look at it and decide. (Perhaps, you will also show it to someone close to you. A second pair of eyes would help)

Good luck!

Just tell him that he needs to trust you and let you work and once the project is done, you will make his wait worthwhile and that he will also invest enough time in your relationship. But you need to make sure that you can give your relationship adequate time and attention after this situation.

Look, if you don't want to quit, you don't have to. Try to make him understand that you don't want to quit this job. If he understands then it is fine and if not, after some time it will be fine. If he respects your decision, he will understand. He has no right to pressure you. And if you don't understand, it's your decision.

I hope you make the right decision.

As a boy, this feels bad to me. I should take care of my girlfriend, not the other way around. On the other hand, I am old-fashioned ...

However, it is something that we really cannot advise you. I don't know you and I don't know your boyfriend. However, it doesn't feel right. Since the two of you don't live together yet, him moving into your house is a big step.

So why did you lose your job? Were you fired or did your contract just end? What was your job anyway? How much did you earn? Will he be able to keep you when the two of you start living together?

Keep in mind that if he moves in with you it means that you are becoming

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As a boy, this feels bad to me. I should take care of my girlfriend, not the other way around. On the other hand, I am old-fashioned ...

However, it is something that we really cannot advise you. I don't know you and I don't know your boyfriend. However, it doesn't feel right. Since the two of you don't live together yet, him moving into your house is a big step.

So why did you lose your job? Were you fired or did your contract just end? What was your job anyway? How much did you earn? Will he be able to keep you when the two of you start living together?

Keep in mind that if he moves in with you it means that he is becoming a family. It doesn't matter if you are married or not, it is a big step. And since you seem to have doubts, I think it's a bad idea. What you could do, if you really need a place to stay for a while, is allow him to stay at your place as a guest. This means that you can bring only two suitcases of clothes and anything else you have needs to be stored somewhere. And you will have to work from your home as a "rental", which means you have to clean and cook while you also need to look for a new job.

If you follow these rules and don't take advantage of the situation to move around in something other than your clothes, then you are pretty reliable. If he also tries to bring some furniture or other things along with the suitcases, then he is trying to take advantage of you. That means you are better off without it.

An exception would be pets. If you have pets, they should also be allowed to be guests in your home.

Pack your bags and follow your dreams. Your boyfriend doesn't love you. It's not your fault, you're cool the way you are. But through this ultimatum he has shown that he only loves himself. He loves the idea of ​​having someone subservient, empty, and codependent around him. He wants everything to be about him. You are unable to have a healthy relationship.

Love is giving, love is support, love is freedom to flourish and prosper. A shitty boyfriend is replaceable, your dreams aren't.

You are incredibly lucky to have dreams and a direction in life. Many people have no idea what they want

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Pack your bags and follow your dreams. Your boyfriend doesn't love you. It's not your fault, you're cool the way you are. But through this ultimatum he has shown that he only loves himself. He loves the idea of ​​having someone subservient, empty, and codependent around him. He wants everything to be about him. You are unable to have a healthy relationship.

Love is giving, love is support, love is freedom to flourish and prosper. A shitty boyfriend is replaceable, your dreams aren't.

You are incredibly lucky to have dreams and a direction in life. Many people have no idea what they want and this is how they are easily forced into toxic relationships, because it is easier to depend on another person to make you happy, but it never works.

You know better. You know what makes you happy. You have a vision that you know will bring you joy. That is why they call it a dream.

If you give in to his ultimatum, your boyfriend will drag you down and make everything that defines you disappear. He will lose respect for you and you will feel resentful of him (because there is no way he is still exciting enough to make up for all your lost dreams) and that is not the foundation for a healthy relationship.

Follow that happy. Do not look back.

Simple .... Choose what your mind and dreams say to pursue .... Want to become a homemaker or career-oriented lady + a good wife too ....
Me, on my personal advice, I will suggest that you should not quit your job .....
You are having your dreams and you still have a chance to prove that you are something .....
My cousin wants to do a job but she cannot do it just because it is too late for her because of at his age. you are considered ineligible for any job ... You get bored sitting at home is just useless ... You want to start a business but due to your financial problems you can't even do it ... too late f

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Simple .... Choose what your mind and dreams say to pursue .... Want to become a homemaker or career-oriented lady + a good wife too ....
Me, on my personal advice, I will suggest that you should not quit your job .....
You are having your dreams and you still have the opportunity to prove that you are something .....
My cousin wants to do a job but cannot do it just because it is too late for her due to her age. she is deemed ineligible for any job ... She gets bored sitting at home is just useless ... She wants to start a business, but due to her financial problems she can't even do it ... it is too late for her to acknowledge that she must have continued with her previous work ... and should have listened to her husband, who still supports her in everything he does ...
See that it is your personal decision ultimately ... No one can tell you what to do in your life, but ....... You should not do things that after doing you will regret ... Listen to your mind. ... listen to your heart ... Take some time to think about what you really want in life ... Freedom, peace or nothing ....... but just doing housework and sitting around watching family dramas on the TV. .......

The second sentence of your question denies the implication of the first that you don't understand their behavior or what to do about it.

Your boyfriend is convinced that you are still shopping to "exchange" for a partner "better" than him. You have probably thrown a lot of vibes or hints about such an attitude, which he has caught. Alternatively, he is excessively paranoid. Or both facts about you and him are true.

After all, he is your boyfriend, not your husband, and he has no reasonable right to feel otherwise about your fidelity in the future.

You have no obligation permanently, no

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The second sentence of your question denies the implication of the first that you don't understand their behavior or what to do about it.

Your boyfriend is convinced that you are still shopping to "exchange" for a partner "better" than him. You have probably thrown a lot of vibes or hints about such an attitude, which he has caught. Alternatively, he is excessively paranoid. Or both facts about you and him are true.

After all, he is your boyfriend, not your husband, and he has no reasonable right to feel otherwise about your fidelity in the future.

You do not have a permanent obligation not to look for work or to say no to a better future boyfriend. The same goes for him in both respects. Regardless of your wishes, you can also change partners without legal consequences.

Do you want a more permanent option? Both can agree to marry; But that's a decision you should make only after serious consideration.

However, no one owns another person, single or married.

You can do what he says or not, but don't pretend you have to. Only the fear of change stops you

It is not his fault if you are too cowardly to tell him that you will or will not work as you please.

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