What is the biggest mistake you have made? What are your "lessons learned", if any?

Updated on : January 17, 2022 by Corey Harper



What is the biggest mistake you have made? What are your "lessons learned", if any?

Boy oh boy

My teenage years were crazy.

Get ready for a dream.

I grew up in a relatively nice neighborhood with two wonderful, loving parents who raised me well and made sure I was up to speed with school, sports, and whatever else a child wanted. I want to make this particular point very clear, my parents are not to blame, in any way, for the honestly stupid path I ended up taking. My parents are amazing, hello to them.

When I entered seventh grade, I was someone who was motivated, focused on education, and mediocre at best at basketball. Sure I had friends, but we were people

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Boy oh boy

My teenage years were crazy.

Get ready for a dream.

I grew up in a relatively nice neighborhood with two wonderful, loving parents who raised me well and made sure I was up to speed with school, sports, and whatever else a child wanted. I want to make this particular point very clear, my parents are not to blame, in any way, for the honestly stupid path I ended up taking. My parents are amazing, hello to them.

When I entered seventh grade, I was someone who was motivated, focused on education, and mediocre at best at basketball. Sure, I had friends, but we were people who only cared about grades first and hanging out second. All of that quickly changed in one fateful day.

Now keep in mind I went to school in a suburban neighborhood, there was a lazy cop walking around the school with nothing but a baton to handle nearly 3,000 students. On Tuesdays at this particular school, we start late, why? No idea. Well, I was dropped off at school at the same time every morning due to my parents / uncles schedules. So this morning, I had time to myself, so naturally, I went to the library to study, and as more and more people began to arrive, I headed for my first period, gym class. He made a quick stop at the bathroom. And while I was washing my hands, one particular jerk broke through behind me and to spare him the gruesome details he raped me. Yes. I was raped in the seventh grade. I had no idea what sex was even (I had a very sheltered upbringing), so I didn't even defend myself (also because he had brought two of his plus-size friends over to the bodyguard ... I guess?). I ended up going home that night with no idea what happened and forgetting about it until the nightmares started.

So why am I telling you what happened to me in seventh grade?

Well after a few weeks I started to realize what had happened, some quick Googling later and wondering if I was gay, and as with many rape victims, I started to blame myself. Being a man, I could never tell anyone (hence why this post is Anonymous). But, as any competent therapist will tell you, pent-up feelings of anger, regret, and confusion are never open to any good.

So the next logical step for me?

Join a gang.

Well, I can already here telling you "Well, Anonymous, that doesn't make any sense" And I will completely agree with you. Mind you, I was in seventh grade, I was full of thoughts of revenge, "being a man", and I never wanted to be anyone's bitch again and, most of all, I wanted to find people who would see my 6 no matter. that. And I vividly remembered that this man and his two friends were carrying blue bananas, again a few Google searches later and I was a gang expert.

The how is less important, but I eventually met some people who introduced me to a gang faction with close ties to the cartel. I got into a car, drove near the Mexican border and, scared, I joined the gang. Over time my story was shared and instead of laughing these guys took me under their wing and promised to take revenge on the people who took my innocence from me. And I readily accepted. What happened to those three guys is not important, however I can assure you that they are alive.

Well, it turns out that when someone does you a favor you can't just walk away. So, at the very nice age of 12, I ended up getting very, very close to some very, very bad people. My intelligence and non-threatening appearance quickly made me a prime candidate for the drug trade. So, I did it with the drug trade. I sold everyone from desperate high school students to mothers of 4 who would do anything for a success. I grew up very, very fast. Even though I was still involved in a life of crime, I started stealing (gotten pretty good at it actually) of everything from Ralph's chips to Walmart phones. And as anyone will tell you, crime is a den, and it only gets worse.

Now, I would never really get high, adhering to the old adage "never get high on your own supply". However, I would date people, especially in the Tijuana area who, while on drugs, would succumb to some extremely questionable things, and that's how my parents got me.

My parents noticed the changes but didn't think about it, I'm sure I attribute my changing behavior and attitudes to puberty. But once my family started finding money, drugs, and a second phone in the house, I'm sure they quickly realized that their once-book nerdy son was messing with a really bad crowd.

In an effort to change me, my family moved to Columbus, Ohio.

There, I believed that I could make a change. And boy, that was a dream, wasn't it?

Note that up to this point I had managed to stay completely off the radar of law enforcement. Although my crimes were getting more and more severe, my grades remained high, I played sports, and frankly I don't seem like someone capable of getting into multiple fights over someone who calls my mother a bitch.

The first few months in Ohio sucked. Thousands of Baptist and Corn Churches weren't necessarily the most entertaining. But I kept my head down and did my job, pushing aside the people I once thought of as brothers. However, just like with so many young guys (especially my emotionally scarred butt), a young girl can turn any plan you have upside down.

I met this girl at my church, and pretty soon we were chatting on snap, and soon we were dating. This was my first girlfriend, and as a horny 16 year old girl, I really had no idea what I was doing. But that relationship was amazing. Until, of course, trouble found me.

Follow me on this one, my girlfriend's best friend's boyfriend turned out to be the cousin of a rival gang member from my original hometown. Still with me? it's okay. We both found out about this during a double date and, as you can imagine, things quickly became very tense. However (women, I have to give it to everyone), our girlfriend convinced us that we could pool our resources (I had a lot of gang connections and knew several criminals in the area, and he had the supply and infrastructure) and connections. and make a lot of money together selling illegal guns (that was their hustle). Money is the best diplomat, and before you know it, we were in business building a massive network that stretched from Cincinnati to Buffalo.

I mentioned earlier that money is the best diplomat, however, it is also the biggest instigator, as after a few months of an extremely lucrative business partnership, distrust formed between us and although we did not fully fight, there was tension between U.S. .

Ok quick tangent, this was around December so my family took a vacation to visit my grandparents in Toronto, Canada. It was around this time that I (at the suggestion of my friends) began to doubt my girlfriend. So naturally I called her up and said, "Hey, I think you're playing with me" (before you make fun of me, remember this was my first relationship and any dating article I read said I had open communication). He immediately burst into tears. Mind you, this was at 2:45 in the morning. I felt terrible, so I called her and begged her to let me make it up to her. After convincing me a bit, he told me this: "I've always fantasized about kissing on a roof in the middle of the night." I thought "fair enough", he continued saying "Well,

So, I drove back from Canada with my cousin. He was pretty laid back so I told him about my girlfriend and this super smart plan we had. He told me I could hook up with a car to get to his house and sneak out of my house. (My parents were pretty strict at this point and wouldn't allow me to have a girlfriend, much less sneak into their house at 3 in the morning.)

Long story short, I bought a ladder from Lowe, put it on top of the car my cousin gave me (this car turned out to be stolen), and drove to his house. I saw it on the roof and my heart skipped a beat, I pulled my ladder out of the car and tried to find a place to put it so I wouldn't fall. By the time I got to the side of her garage (and couldn't see her) I saw flashing blue and red lights. My stomach sank. I walked towards the police with my hands up and tried to explain to them that I was not robbing anyone and that this was my girlfriend's house, but low and lo and behold, when I turned around to point her at the ceiling, guess who all of a sudden separated. of a wizard disappearing act?

I ended up getting arrested.

I didn't spend time in jail though, but they took me home to the wrath of my parents, where they basically put me under house arrest (understandably), but it was an emotional wreck, so after a few months of essentially tearing me apart. (and attempt suicide twice) I finally made the brilliant decision to steal my parents' car and run away from home. I was out for less than a week, but got into multiple bar fights, stole almost $ 5000, and got high for the first time in my life. Finally I got home, they arrested me, they sent me to jail and I served my sentence there.

In jail, I stuck with it, ended up fighting another offender (we weren't prisoners as we were all minors, we must love America), and ended up being put in a sec unit (essentially solitary confinement) for almost 21 days of my 120 day sentence. It was here that I finally sat down and thought about the direction of my life, who I want to be and what I want to do, and I have to give it to our criminal justice system, it actually changed me. There was a counselor there who talked to me for about 4.5 hours or so when I first went solo and he just told me about my life and where it was going to end. And less than a week alone broke my "tough guy" attitude and I quickly realized that my life was going to shit if I didn't change things ASAP.

I was finally released early for good behavior, because I kept my head down and spent time finishing my high school diploma. Even taking some AP classes (once I got out). I still feel an itch in me and incurable guilt for the lives I have ruined by trying to build my own.

Now here I am today, although many of the most serious crimes I committed are omitted from this narrative (for obvious reasons), I have come out of my teens wiser and smarter than I think many people my age are now. I am currently in the U.S. Army, a Member of the prestigious 75th Ranger Regiment (my CO and my parents endorsed me for a waiver to enlist under an Option 40 contract) as a medic, so yeah, I know. I could say that my life changed. around. I now have an associate degree in Computer Science and Mathematics and hope to one day be a doctor.

What advice would you give someone?

Focus on your school, because education will open doors for you that you didn't even know existed. No matter what you think you want now, I can promise you that it will change at some point.

Trust and love your parents, because in most cases they will support you no matter what. Even if you don't have parents to tell your grandparents or a trusted uncle / aunt because as the old adage goes, you never really appreciate someone / something until you lose it.

Your friends will only support you as long as it is convenient for them. So when they ask you to smoke with them or rush, and then call you "fake", don't listen to them, chances are they'll give you away in a few years or you'll never see them. another never again.

And finally, for all young children, never, never, never let one partner (boy, girl, or other) dictate the decisions you make in your life. If you just do a little searching on Quora, I can guarantee you that other answers to questions like this often revolve around falling in love with a guy / girl / other. Since I'm a boy, this advice is for siblings: Don't let your penis make the decisions, USE YOUR HEAD. It's not to say you don't find love, but know what you're getting into!

Oh, and to answer the question, "What is the biggest mistake of my life?"

Leaving that damn library.

The biggest mistake I have made to date was choosing heroin over my daughter.

I wanted so badly to quit. I took my first opiate when I was fourteen and didn't think about it much. I grew up in a house full of addicts, so when I told my mom I had a headache, she gave me a Vicodin. I spent the whole night cleaning everything in my room, I was zooming in. I should have noticed at a young age the signs of addictive behavior, I could never get enough of anything and always wanted more. I started having outbursts as soon as I can remember, and my emotions were so unregulated that I literally would.

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The biggest mistake I have made to date was choosing heroin over my daughter.

I wanted so badly to quit. I took my first opiate when I was fourteen and didn't think about it much. I grew up in a house full of addicts, so when I told my mom I had a headache, she gave me a Vicodin. I spent the whole night cleaning everything in my room, I was zooming in. I should have noticed at a young age the signs of addictive behavior, I could never get enough of anything and always wanted more. I started having outbursts as soon as I can remember, and my emotions were so unregulated that I was literally freaking out and crying uncontrollably for hours. Then the psychiatrist visits started, they shoved drugs that didn't work down my throat and that continued until I was sixteen, and still nothing to help what I thought was a lost cause. I could never understand why I felt that way. Self-harm started around 13 and the last time I took a psychiatric drug while living with my parents was Wellbutrin. I had an episode one day (16) and I literally freaked out and tried to kill myself the first time and cut my wrist in front of my mother. Sixteen was a rough year for me for many reasons that would take me a week or more to write, but sixteen for me was the year everything changed. The year that I can 100% say that I became a drug addict. It started largely with Xanax, which OC, lortabs, Roxicodone, Opanas, fentanyl, morphine and then my love; Heroin. but sixteen for me was the year that everything changed. The year that I can 100% say that I became a drug addict. It started largely with Xanax, which OC, lortabs, Roxicodone, Opanas, fentanyl, morphine, and then my love; Heroin. but sixteen for me was the year that everything changed. The year that I can 100% say that I became a drug addict. It started largely with Xanax, which OC, lortabs, Roxicodone, Opanas, fentanyl, morphine and then my love; Heroin.

I started using heroin when my daughter was about 7 months old. At this point I hadn't been clean for about 3 1/2 in a row, 5 years if you want to count relapses. I started shooting a week after the first time I used, and the downward spiral began.

Everything happened so unexpectedly. When he was a year and a half, his father had come to spend the night, and I woke up the next morning with both of them gone. I panicked. Where is my son? There was nothing I could do, according to state law. His father and I were legally married, so he had the same rights as me. I tried to explain to him that she had never been away from me, did not even know him, he had been in jail at that time all his life.

I was finally able to get it back from him in February 2015, but the affidavits had been signed, I was served with the papers, and DCS was basically living at my house. I tried desperately to clean myself. His father was living with me again and sadly, he is and will probably always be my biggest trigger. I finally decided that I was going to be honest and ask the judge to let her stay with the only family she had ever known (mine, she had never met her mother before) while I went to a 90 day rehab and did another. 90 days of sober life. I wanted to get it right, but I knew I could never live in the city I was in, under the roof of my biggest trigger.

In court, the day I lost her, I walked in completely honest and open.

I left feeling like my world could never go on again when I woke up every morning to my baby screaming "MOMMMMMMMY". With his big goofy smile that he constantly wore, and the sweetest hoarse voice that grabbed my face and told me how much he loved me.

DCS would meet me at my house to pick her up and her belongings. I remember walking into the house, straight into her room and she was staring at Scooby-Doo, her hair tangled around her thumb as she sucked on it. I remember picking her up, trying to get every last scent I could from her, trying to remember all the lines on her face, the wrinkles she made while smiling, and thinking how I wish time would stop, that this was fucking nightmare.

DCS came in around 8:30, I put his car seat in and told him I was going to be fine, I'll see you very soon. While I was crying, he grabbed my face like he always did, gave me a kiss and said, “It's okay mommy. Please do not cry. I love you. "With that I said," No matter what someone says, whatever happens, I will always love you. You are always the best part of me. " Then they started and I no longer breathed the same. I lost my happiness. I lost the only person who really loved me like I loved them.

As a mother, you have a need to protect your child, keep him safe, and heal him as best you can when he hurts.

I failed him.

I cleaned myself up, complied with all my court orders, and more. A year later, after passing all my drug tests, successfully completing my orders and rehab, I still hadn't seen her after a year. But there was hope….

DCS told me that you were completely on my side, that I should get her back, the judge never rules against her.

But, indeed, I did not get it. They put me on a no-contact order and told me that talking was causing her too much emotional damage. She was placed with my ex's mom whom I had never met but had a history of severe abuse towards my ex's sisters, allegations of sexual and physical abuse.

We both tried to fight it, we even went so far as to say that we would prefer that he stay with his adoptive parents. But to no avail, her mother got it.

He later told me that he knew it was the only thing he could do to me that would hurt me and make me leave his son.

I also found out later that he paid the judge $ 20,000 and that he was also best friends with my ex's mom. Conflict of interest a lot?

I fell back into that deep well and was once again heavy with heroin. It was the only thing he knew how to do to numb the pain he felt, but even that pain was too much. I have not heard her sweet, husky voice since May 15, 2016, the last time I spoke to her before the no contact order was made.

I fell into a deep, dark depression. I started having severe BPD episodes, shooting myself again, and cutting myself.

I overdosed for the fourth time on October 15, 2016, my fiancee found me blue on the floor and immediately asked for help. The times before that, I never had any kind of experience. No lights or spirits. But this time it was completely different. I had the most exhilarating experience that when I finally came too, my cravings for the drug were gone.

I know I have a fight ahead of me, and let's face it, I could never raise the offer by 20gs, but I've been sober ever since, and now slowly rebuilding once again.

I'll never give up on you baby I will always hate not being able to stop using, I chose something instead of you, and nothing will be better or come close to the perfection and light that you have.

I love you tator-tot.

forever and always my baby you will be

The biggest mistake I made was not walking with God. When I was little, my parents believed in god or gods. I guess they believed various gods. Like Jesus, Buddha, etc. They never really talked about God at all in my house, it wasn't like it was forbidden or anything, but it just so happened that no one was really interested in God. Although they never spoke of God, I still believed in God, I knew that he was there listening to me. I always prayed, prayed for months for a dog that existed when I was 3 or 4 years old. And guess what god gave me a dog! But I started to convert

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The biggest mistake I made was not walking with God. When I was little, my parents believed in god or gods. I guess they believed various gods. Like Jesus, Buddha, etc. They never really talked about God at all in my house, it wasn't like it was forbidden or anything, but it just so happened that no one was really interested in God. Although they never spoke of God, I still believed in God, I knew that he was there listening to me. I always prayed, prayed for months for a dog that existed when I was 3 or 4 years old. And guess what god gave me a dog! But I started to become a really horrible person. My mom always had movies that were not appropriate for children, this is like when I was 4 or 5 years old. I always watched Gossip Girl. And I also remember seeing bad girls but something secret. DO NOT LET YOUR CHILDREN watch shows that feature sex or bullying at a young age. At around this age I was a very sweet girl, I never did anything wrong. But at this age he was in kindergarten and didn't seem to have many friends or fit in for some reason. This was before I started watching all those movies and things like that. And in Gossip Girl there were a lot of inappropriate scenes. When I was a kid, my thoughts were oh, since they're doing it on TV, I think it's okay for me to do it too. So I did bad things with my brother, but the first time Mom caught me, I never did it again. But I thought sex was like sitting on someone's face or something, so that's what I did. :( It honestly ruined my life :( I didn't know it was wrong :( and then, Since bad girls had a lot of bullying, I thought it was okay to bully others. And so I became a bully and was really mean to other people, maybe like only 4 people. I made 4 cry: (then around 8 years old, I found out about God, I always believed in God and Jesus since I was little, for some reason, I knew that no one had told me or anything. basically find out more about him and how good he is. So I decided to stop bullying :( I never apologized and it's breaking my heart :( I wish I went to church or something like that and found out more about God sooner because I ruined my life: (I'm a really terrible person and I always wish I could go back to being that sweet innocent girl before :( I'm so mad at myself and upset that I ruined my life. And I just know that God is going to be so mad at me when I die and my parents and I am so disappointed in me and I know that God is too, I wish it never happened. : (please pray that I get better, I'm so afraid that I'll never be a better person. If I died today, I won't be proud of myself. I hope one day I will be. Proud of myself, but I know it will take a lot time. Please pray for me: (Maybe I'll never be proud of myself, that's what I think. And yes, I've never done anything that bad after this. proud of myself but i know it will take a long time. Please pray for me: (Maybe I'll never be proud of myself, that's what I think. And yes, I've never done anything that bad after this. proud of myself but i know it will take a long time. Please pray for me: (Maybe I'll never be proud of myself, that's what I think. And yes, I've never done anything that bad after this.

I have always felt that the biggest mistake I made in my life was "playing it safe" and following my parents' philosophy of getting a job, sitting down, and being like them. I regret that I did not more vigorously pursue something in academia that coincided with my passions.

A bit of history ... I graduated in the top 10 in my class of about 180 students. My SAT scores, while my English was barely tolerable, my math score was quite high. These two accomplishments qualified me as an "Oregon scholar." I could have overcome (and then did) my lack of English, especially the written form. I wanted to go to college, b

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I have always felt that the biggest mistake I made in my life was "playing it safe" and following my parents' philosophy of getting a job, sitting down, and being like them. I regret that I did not more vigorously pursue something in academia that coincided with my passions.

A bit of history ... I graduated in the top 10 in my class of about 180 students. My SAT scores, while my English was barely tolerable, my math score was quite high. These two accomplishments qualified me as an "Oregon scholar." I could have overcome (and then did) my lack of English, especially the written form. I wanted to go to college, but my parents, especially my father, were always berating "college graduates" for their lack of experience and how "little" it seemed to them that that level of education allowed anyone.

My biggest problem was that my parents did not understand what this would have meant to me if they supported me in this regard. I was a born researcher. But, this was long before the internet (I graduated from high school in 1982) and we had a shoddy local library (a fairly small one in Hood River County). In fact, I missed my PSAT tests because I didn't know anything academically (I was working at a local grocery store instead). I managed to figure out (since I had no real academic interaction with a school counselor or my home group teacher) to get involved in taking my SATs.

Another problem was that I was interested in too many things (or so it seemed) and any counselor I discussed my "career" options with didn't have the wherewithal to help me focus. Part of that had to do with his assessment of my GATB scores (General Aptitude and Test Battery General Aptitude Test Battery (GATB) in Professional Development - IResearchNet). I got over 100 (something like IQ) in all areas. The only advice I got was, "well, your math and spatial skills are the highest, but you can actually do whatever you want." That was the worst advice I think I've ever received!

I needed concentration and, if anything, greater scrutiny of my passions, true skills, and academic direction. When I didn't understand that, I actually got depressed and had an extremely difficult time conveying what I was feeling (and then imagining) what I wanted to do. I was also somewhat ahead of my time in my thinking and vision. Now, I know almost exactly what I should have done. He should have been involved in a lead to something with an organization like Lucas Films or another cutting edge media production team.

My senior year in high school was when I had my first-hand introduction to computers. In fact, I'd been following the concept of computers since the first time I read about them in the Radio Shack comics we got as a kid (Science Fair Story of Electronics). Also in my senior year was when I began a lifelong love and passion for researching waves of both sound and light, but sound waves first. I started learning about the physics of sound and FFT (Fast Fourier Transforms) which were the basis of sound sampling and digital sound synthesis. The most expensive thing I have ever bought, except for my second car for many decades, was one of the first polyphonic MIDI synthesizers of the time, a Roland JX-3P.

But I was limited because I was practically alone in my search. My brother was involved in a somewhat similar search and we collaborated for about 6 years on musical projects, but that vanished when we both got married, me in 1987 and him in 1990. At least he had focused on his passion for electronics. because that resonated with our father. And it was more "practical". My passion, on the other hand, was seen as more "whimsical" and a "hobby."

In this sense, and more or less at the same time, I began a more serious search for linguistics and other forms of research, mainly in family history, which had their seeds earlier in my life. I had always delved into these on a hobbyist level, but had always wanted to do more. I was also interested in things like astrophysics, puzzles and chess, logic, drawing, lighting and theater, and many other interests, but always with a connection to computers.

If I had known then what I know now, I would have pursued a career in computer and technology media production, probably music at first, but I DEFINITELY would have loved to get involved in the film industry, particularly science fiction. gender. But another inhibition I had, growing up in a small town, being the big cities and Los Angeles or especially New York (since I had only grown up on the West Coast) seemed daunting to me. Also, I didn't know anyone anywhere and that was my biggest problem.

So a secondary regret was that I missed a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I had the opportunity, through a connection I had in 1985 with a band I was in, to meet Casey Young (Casey Young Credits - ARTISTdirect Music). I was a huge Yes fan at the time and this was very tempting. Yet at the same time, my "small town" inhibitions took over and I also had the "opportunity" to sit down and get married, and the general idea of ​​what I grew up with became overwhelming.

Since then, I have never been able to find a satisfactory professional environment. I would accomplish great things for the companies I worked for only to find that they would eventually have to fire me or conditions would become untenable for anything in the long run and I would have to move on. I tried going to college a couple of times, but each time, it ended with the "established" lifestyle taking priority and overriding my true passions. Now I am also divorced. So following this lifestyle turned out to be a general failure for me.

Now, I am not criticizing this "established" lifestyle in the least. If it had worked (it pretty much did for most of the rest of my family), it would have been fine. However, it just wasn't for me. I really should have taken another route and taken those risks because, in the end, even the "safe" route didn't work out. So what would have been the difference? If I failed the other, I would still be where I am today, but at least I would have had the satisfaction of trying. And if so, I think I would have had more "tools" through my education and partnerships to keep my passion alive. He certainly would have had more incentives!

I would continue to follow such a track, but now, with my age passing 50 and debilitating physical condition, unless this can be resolved, I am stuck. I have been able to catch up "a little" and have made some music (User Account, David Clark 4) because computer music production has become quite affordable. However, I really miss being more involved academically, having classmates who would have been more in line with my true self, and even being a teacher in the line of generating media that involves my passions and interests. Even though I still dream ...

I told my parents something they can never forget. And the same thing happens to me: the guilt of that moment of anger will remain forever with me.

Background: He had extremely high myopic eyes. I was born with -7 in my right eye and -2.5 in my left.

I've had to wear contact lenses for as long as I can remember, I think it goes back to the second degree. Because I had such shortsighted eye vision, I was not allowed to go anywhere after dark, and many of the things children did back then were a luxury to me. It is understandable, since my parents were very worried. Due to the high power of the eyes, I have

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I told my parents something they can never forget. And the same thing happens to me: the guilt of that moment of anger will remain forever with me.

Background: He had extremely high myopic eyes. I was born with -7 in my right eye and -2.5 in my left.

I've had to wear contact lenses for as long as I can remember, I think it goes back to the second degree. Because I had such shortsighted eye vision, I was not allowed to go anywhere after dark, and many of the things children did back then were a luxury to me. It is understandable, since my parents were very worried. Due to the high visual power, I had a lot of problems at school during classes, as I couldn't really see what was being written on the board. I used to ask my classmates who were sitting around me to show me their notebooks so I could take notes. I believe that anyone with myopic eye vision can understand how difficult it is to tell people, and convince them, that you cannot see something that they can see very easily.

Then one day, it was raining outside and there was a power outage at the school. As bad as my vision was, I couldn't see anything written on the board. I constantly asked the people around me to show me their notes. That class belonged to one of the strictest teachers in our school, and he didn't tolerate gossip and stuff. He caught me looking here and there and called me. He yelled at me and the people around me. My classmates were visibly upset. After class ended, I noticed that they were grouped together. I wanted to join, to know what they were talking about. And then someone said this: “You see, because of your blindness, we get in trouble. Why can't you just sit in the front row or get some braille to wear or something? You are very blind. Similar comments followed. And then some comments on my fat composition, my height, etc. I was shocked. I was surprised. I was dejected. I came home after school, went into my room, and didn't speak to anyone for a good few hours. I was silent, angry, depressed and had thoughts of why my parents even gave birth to someone so 'flawed'. I was exaggerating, in hindsight. I yelled at my mom when she tried to figure out why. Then when my dad came back from the office, he and my mom confronted me. I exploded, I exploded What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible. depressed and had thoughts as to why my parents even gave birth to someone so 'flawed'. I was exaggerating, in hindsight. I yelled at my mom when she tried to figure out why. Then when my dad came back from the office, he and my mom confronted me. I exploded, I exploded What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible. depressed and had thoughts as to why my parents even gave birth to someone so 'flawed'. I was exaggerating, in hindsight. I yelled at my mom when she tried to figure out why. Then when my dad came back from the office, he and my mom confronted me. I exploded, I exploded What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible. What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible. depressed and had thoughts as to why my parents even gave birth to someone so 'flawed'. I was exaggerating, in hindsight. I yelled at my mom when she tried to figure out why. Then when my dad came back from the office, he and my mom confronted me. I exploded, I exploded What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible. What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible. depressed and had thoughts as to why my parents even gave birth to someone so 'flawed'. I was exaggerating, in hindsight. I yelled at my mom when she tried to figure out why. Then when my dad came back from the office, he and my mom confronted me. I exploded, I exploded What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible. he and my mom confronted me. I exploded, I exploded What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible. he and my mom confronted me. I exploded, I exploded What followed was one of those moments that I want to erase from my parents' memory. Mine too, if possible.

"Why did you give birth to such a faulty piece? Why couldn't he get a good look at his eyes? Why couldn't he be attractive like other boys? Why did I get the worst of both worlds? Hate you! I don't want to go to school anymore, everyone hates me and makes fun of me. It's all for you two! I hate you for this! I have your eyes, Dad, and I have your height and your physique, Mom. Why couldn't you be better? Why couldn't I get Mommy's view and Daddy's height? I hate myself, I hate everything around me! "

I spoke in this regard for a few minutes. I let out everything I had in me from that moment in class. Literally, literally, I broke my parents that day. All my parents did was hold me tight and comfort me. They cried. Back then, he couldn't understand why. Now I do. I screwed up big time. If I could, I'd like to get all of that back. This was my biggest mistake. It was not to acknowledge the efforts of my parents. It was to blurt out stupid things, when I wasn't even old enough to know what they were sacrificing for me.

I wish I could tell you mom, that I love you so much for what you've done so far. I love you for having the courage to go to the office even though it broke you to leave me home alone, just so we could have the money to have my eyes operated when the technology was available. I wish I could tell you dad, that I love you so much for giving me everything I always asked for, and beyond what I deserved, and what you had the ability to provide.

I wish I could tell you, Mom… Dad… I'm sorry for everything I said that day. I was stupid, I was an idiot. I was, in true essence, blind to his efforts to provide me with the best life possible. I'm really, honestly sorry for what I said. I don't mean any of that, how could I? I couldn't have asked for better parents.

I love you both immensely and unconditionally.

Final note: my eyesight worsened over time, and in 2012, my right eye vision was -17 and my left eye vision was -11. It's 2016 now. I had surgery on my eyes 5 times and now it's down to <(- 2) in both eyes. Now I am only forced to use specs. I still feel immensely guilty when I think about that moment, but the smile on my parents' faces when I read the menu to them in any restaurant gives me strength. I still wish I could get that moment back. And I will always feel guilty for not having seen their efforts.

In just under 18 months, I wrote 187 letters to acknowledge many of my life's regrets.

-

First, a story:

Recently, an acquaintance named Gabi lost her boyfriend of several years. He was a young, extremely fit individual, only 31 years old with no signs of illness. But after a rugby match he was playing, he suddenly collapsed at the celebratory dinner and began to convulse in his arms.

After being rushed to the emergency room, the cardiothoracic surgeon said it would be a simple procedure to restrict what they found to be his enlarged heart. But the second he started operating

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In just under 18 months, I wrote 187 letters to acknowledge many of my life's regrets.

-

First, a story:

Recently, an acquaintance named Gabi lost her boyfriend of several years. He was a young, extremely fit individual, only 31 years old with no signs of illness. But after a rugby match he was playing, he suddenly collapsed at the celebratory dinner and began to convulse in his arms.

After being rushed to the emergency room, the cardiothoracic surgeon said it would be a simple procedure to restrict what they found to be his enlarged heart. But the second he stepped onto the operating table, he had a massive heart attack and died on the spot.

Jamie was incredulous. She asked if she could see it with her own eyes. So the doctor's letter entered the operating room and saw the lifeless body of her beloved. He stood there for several minutes, completely silent. She asked if she could spend a minute with him.

That minute turned into 4 hours. And in that 4-hour course, she spoke everything she had always wanted to tell him but never bid. He spoke with joy, vulnerability and regret. And you will probably never be the same again after this experience, wondering what could have been and trying to hold on to something like truth and stability in your life.

-

Gabi's experience reminded me of another recent conversation I had with someone very close to me who said, “Why do you always reflect on the past? Why don't you let it go and be happy like everyone else? "

I thought it was a fascinating question because many times the things that affect us the most in adulthood are those that happened before we were 20 years old (and often much younger). You can see adults unleash and have extreme reactions to seemingly smaller things because you touch on a wound from the past that has never really healed.

So I decided to share the words that had remained deep within me for decades. After finding myself in a war zone in Myanmar by accident, I asked myself, "What if I fragment all the pains and triumphs that are trapped in my heart?"


A couple of years ago, I wrote a letter like I have never shared before. The first part said:

"Dear Peter, Once upon a time, we were great friends. We spent after school afternoons playing Nintendo 64 and watching your docile golden retriever pacing around the basement. We spent weekends playing basketball, discussing musical trends, opening up about firsts. kisses, and competing to see who ate the most chipotle burritos ... than ever more than one.

But then one day everything changed. I walked into the first day of 11th grade and none of our friends spoke to me. After days of silence, one of them finally decided to say, “Peter said we shouldn't trust you anymore. So I don't want to be your friend. "

He knew exactly what had happened. At the end of the summer I told them that I felt like an impostor. Despite being in the same program, I did not have the same opportunities that our colleagues had. He didn't have a Volkswagen or an Audi to show off, he had a bus pass. I didn't buy from Nordstrom or Express, I wore a designer label called hand-me-downs. I didn't go to concerts, I burned CDs.

And when people mentioned those things, he just pretended he knew what they were talking about because he desperately wanted to belong.

And in that moment, when I heard you say that I should not be trusted, you confirmed what I had always believed, deep in my heart: that I was worthless.

And I ended up in the place that I so desperately tried to avoid ... alone. "


I found that, like so many other people who are answering these questions, my regrets were for things I never said.

This letter led me to write another to my grandmother, with whom I always stopped talking because she was "busy" traveling or working. And it was strange that one day when I finally went to do it ... my father called and said that he had died.

We all carry invisible burdens that we have already wanted to share with people who have needed to listen to them. * What if we really did? *

Well, I recently gave a TEDx talk on this topic.

You can see how my trip was here:

I always wanted to tell you ... | Brenton Weyi | TEDxBoulder

Go anonymous for obvious reasons.

I made a big mistake and I feel like it's ruining my life. The biggest problem was that I was too naive, too stupid and immature ... I put a lot of trust in a person who I thought was a true friend, but they got me into this mess and planned to come out blaming me.

A little backstory and some key points about me that are crucial for you to know in order to understand the seriousness of this situation. First of all, I am very young and have not yet reached the eleventh grade. Second, I come from a place where drug or alcohol abuse is viewed above the unimaginable.

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Go anonymous for obvious reasons.

I made a big mistake and I feel like it's ruining my life. The biggest problem was that I was too naive, too stupid and immature ... I put a lot of trust in a person who I thought was a true friend, but they got me into this mess and planned to come out blaming me.

A little backstory and some key points about me that are crucial for you to know in order to understand the seriousness of this situation. First of all, I am very young and have not yet reached the eleventh grade. Second, I come from a place where alcohol or drug abuse is looked down upon in unimaginable proportions, it is not an understatement when I say that I am surprised that I am safe at home now and not in my youth.

The whole story started about 6 months ago. A friend had moved away from where I lived, a friend who believed he was someone who would do anything for me. I had kept in touch, talking to her every day since her departure. Things have not gone well for him there, with problems adjusting to his new school and environment, he faced bullies and family problems. She was calling me from the cubicles in her school bathroom, crying that she would be beaten up if she left. As the days went by, she said she was getting more and more depressed. He started drinking, harming himself and telling me that he plans to commit suicide. I would do my best to comfort her. I felt absolutely helpless.

At the time, I was completely unaware of the extent to which drugs can harm you and she kept hinting that all weed did to someone was relax them, so when she constantly scold me into getting some weed from a person who knew, I eventually succumbed and agreed. He said I'd be back in my town in a few weeks or so to pick it up and all I had to do was pay him, collect it, give it to him, get my money back, and Scott would leave it to me. -free. It seemed like a simple task and I figured it wouldn't affect me in any way since all I was doing was shifting it ...

I bought it, hid it from my parents and planned the day it would be left to give it to them. This was only a month before a very important series of exams, so I had no intention of staying with her. When I went there, her mom was dressed to go out to dinner or whatever… She was alone with her grandparents, so she asked if she could stay a few minutes to stand guard. I agreed and she went to the bathroom to smoke. I remember the room next to the bathroom reeking of the obvious stench and I felt my stomach clench. I did my best to clean the room from the smell and I honestly wanted to be home, away from all this mess. I wanted to go back in time and reject his plea when he asked me for help. While I was in a mad rush to hide any evidence, she got her brains blown in the bathroom. He came out a few minutes later and lay down on the bed. talking about how good it felt. I went to the bathroom to open the windows and clear up any possible mess she might have made.

That room was in such bad shape. My eyes stung from the smoke and I ran out as quickly as possible. I went out to see her having a panic attack. She demanded that he call her mom and take her to the hospital. In that moment I knew I was finished. I called her mom, who took her to the hospital while she waited, fearing the worst at home. I hated myself for not telling my parents about this and I knew they would get a call from their mother. His mother called a few minutes later and reprimanded me for what I had done. I called my parents shortly after, confessing everything ... They rushed home right away, surprisingly not mad at me. They consoled me by saying that they would do anything to fix everything.

That night was the longest of my life. I waited in the hospital, next to the bed she was in… I was scared and I blamed myself. The long interrogation lasted all night and by the end of the day both parents had come to a conclusion that no police were involved, to which I am grateful. My parents have prevented me from talking to her again, and her parents also agree that it is the best way to do it.

Many more happened that night, but I prefer not to go into details. I will be willing to answer questions, criticism, etc. But if I don't answer certain questions, I hope you understand them.

Right now, she's fine. Her panic attack lasted one day and she is now receiving help from a psychologist to help her with her depression and cut.

One lesson that can be learned from this is to never go near drugs or alcohol. Choose your friends carefully and, most importantly, be sensible. Know right from wrong and do the right thing, whether it's for your peers or for yourself. That day I ruined my life and hers. Everything could have been avoided if I had had the sensitivity to tell my parents any part of what was going through my mind. They would have dissuaded me from everything, they would have sought the help that my friend needed at the time and none of this mess would have happened.

Sorry for the long post. I would have put up a photo of a potato but my eyes are too blurry to look for one and it doesn't seem like an appropriate idea for the stage.

Sorry, I would be anonymous for this.

4 years ago I met an amazing girl from Italy. She was an angel. The purest girl I have ever known. My friend and I knew her for about 3 days, but we became very good friends. We just really wish her the best, and she mentioned that my friend and I were the most honest and good people she had ever met in a long time. We knew we would never meet again, so say goodbye.

But we had exchanged our Facebook IDs and one day after about a year I got a ping saying that she was visiting a city close to where we were working. I didn't know why, but I just wanted

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Sorry, I would be anonymous for this.

4 years ago I met an amazing girl from Italy. She was an angel. The purest girl I have ever known. My friend and I knew her for about 3 days, but we became very good friends. We just really wish her the best, and she mentioned that my friend and I were the most honest and good people she had ever met in a long time. We knew we would never meet again, so say goodbye.

But we had exchanged our Facebook IDs and one day after about a year I got a ping saying that she was visiting a city close to where we were working. He didn't know why, but he just wanted to meet her. He had never had such a connection with a girl before. Not that I loved her, respected her and really cared about her. Anyway, we met and had a great time. She was depressed for a long time and felt really better after our meeting. She insisted that we should keep in touch as she didn't feel very good and the people around her (after what she had heard from her) were evil. I was very happy because I also intended to ask her email / number so she doesn't become a stranger again.

We started chatting and talking on the phone often (although not very often, I guess twice a month). She had real problems (some of which I can't even imagine how she would have handled) and she sounded really sad at times and I had to tell her that everything was going to be okay. Slowly, the frequency of our calls increased and we were talking on the phone for hours about 2-3 times a week. Meanwhile, I was going through a strange phase where I loved being alienated and started to be in my own box. I cut most of my unnecessary contacts. I read (and a lot on Quora too) about relationships and how to handle them and other nonsense. At the time I was starting my own company and wanted to focus on it. I had read about 'Emotional Vampires' and how they suck your life out of you.

She talked about her things, her situations and the strange things about the forgeries that made her very sad and at the end of the call she laughed and disconnected the call always with a happy mind. It felt good.

One day I was working and I was stuck with something and I was too into it. I got a text message from her saying that she really wanted to talk to me. I remembered that I had missed his call two days before receiving the text message. I immediately replied that I was busy and that I was sorry I wanted to call her back, but I got caught up in something and that I would call her that night. And the false happened! I completely forgot about that. I was too busy with my work and saw your message about a week ago while scrolling. I called, messages, pinged him on Facebook. But she was disconnected. Everywhere.

Little by little I forgot about her, but after about 8 months I felt a strange need to find her. I pinged him on Facebook, looked through his photos, etc. and somewhere i saw a comment: RIP. My heart stopped. I pinged everyone on that comment chain and was told by two friends of hers that she hadn't been here anymore. I was numb for a day or two. I was encouraged to ask her friends about the details and knew that she committed suicide the moment I had the last conversation with her.

I have never been so devastated to learn that a call from me could have saved her life. She was suicidal and the calls she was talking about earlier had mostly those conversations and she was always mentioning that if it weren't for me she would have been dead a long time ago. I feel like I've betrayed her. Sometimes when I'm alone, I think about what must have happened in those days after he called, texted me, and the time I never called him back.

The biggest mistake you ask?

  • Being so busy, I killed an angel.

'learned lessons'?

  • Be there. (Do you know where.)

The biggest and dumbest mistake I ever made was being friends with the girl!

Although all girls are not bad, but sometimes you have to be wise, and the same goes for boys (even if I am).

It was during my graduation time that I became friends with a girl who seems to be sweet and very emotional in every possible way. The type of person I am is that I don't give up easily on tears.

Well we used to be friends, but one day during college I found out about a fight from my best friend and friend from school and the reason behind that was Girl, obviously (in India it's to have a fight

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The biggest and dumbest mistake I ever made was being friends with the girl!

Although all girls are not bad, but sometimes you have to be wise, and the same goes for boys (even if I am).

It was during my graduation time that I became friends with a girl who seems to be sweet and very emotional in every possible way. The type of person I am is that I don't give up easily on tears.

Well we used to be friends but one day during college I heard about a fight from my best friend and friend from school and the reason behind that was Girl, obviously (in India it is to have a fight when a girl is inolved )!

I went to rescue both of them and make sure no one got hit. Well, no one was hurt, but the story that was the reason was that the girl (my friend) proposed to that boy (friend from school) and was making fun of her whenever possible in front of her house, tución, friends, classrooms. My friend from school was a nice boy so he never said anything bad or did it even though he has all sorts of powers, but he didn't.

That girl leaked all the inside story the wrong way to each of her friends and classmates as much as possible. Later, when my friend from school found out about all this shit, the girl said to save herself from his fury, that everything my best friend did that that guy came to my friend and asked him everything to turn my friend answered quietly.

(THE STORY BEGINS)

When I found out about this, I broke all kinds of relationships with that girl because she broke the trust of each one of us. She started doing all the possible female powers that she can use with tears or whatever, but we didn't respond because we knew the fact.

After a few months, we got back in touch with each one of us, solving all the confrontations we had had. That time, I talked to my friend about everything and I consoled her because she was excited for some reason, what she did was in 1– 2 weeks she began to feel love for me and was completely in love with me, but she did not know ... and yes, he proposed to me later, but I took it lightly and kept chatting all day and night, making her feel comfortable with that feeling of love. .

later, again I somehow knew that she created a facebook page and was posting funny poems of sad stories, heart emotions one after another. When I asked her, she refused, but she was so mad at this that I convinced her to to tell her the truth, and she said that, so I gently spoke to her to remove that page, but she refused and continued to post that it was the first time I felt sorry for being involved with that girl, so I stopped talking to her again ...

Later, during all this time we had a lot of fights until last year, where during a college event I had a changed personality ... so she was. So for my part I took a step to talk to her and generate new frndshp ... so all 2– 3 months in that period went well.

after those 2-3 months, she started feeling for me again ... and she confessed to me again ... why I didn't answer her this time because she proposed to my best friend also during those fights that happened before last year. .. she also confessed that she had a boy during the first year who used to love her madly but she is not at all interested in him ... she even had sex with him for a long time.

this completely broke me, because all she was showing me is crazy behavior from her and yet I was hoping that she would accept her in every possible way ...

Every time he used to talk it would irritate me and feel like the mistake he had made ... he told me he had 4 boys and I am the fifth he really loved ... I fell out of my bed making a list of this, because the behavior and the tantrums showed loving those boys and me it was no different ... that time somehow I made a difference with her and avoided the talks because I was facing some personal problems in the family, so I was disconnected from each one that time he pissed me off like it was the reason for all his discomfort. I told her not to speak for some time because she already had some problem, but she continued to send me a message ... that was the last time I clearly told her that I could no longer bear her friendship and I finally left her ... There are many more things that I have not shared on this topic, but ...

THIS WAS THE ONLY MISTAKE THAT I CAN'T FORGET, I NEVER CRYED LIKE SHE MADE ME FOR HAVING SUCH MENTAL STRESS ... I FEEL MYSELF AND FOR MY DECISIONS THAT I MADE TO BE A FRIEND WITH HER….

I bought a business that I knew nothing about and it almost bankrupted me.

There are so many great answers in this thread; perhaps mine is a valuable addition.

About 10 years ago, I was eager for a chance for financial success. I had a steady and stable job with a wonderful organization, but unfortunately I was very bored with my job. I felt a strong business vocation and decided to give it a try. He had recently sold an investment and it was full of cash. I went out and looked for a business opportunity to buy, and months later, I bought one. It was in an industry that I knew

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I bought a business that I knew nothing about and it almost bankrupted me.

There are so many great answers in this thread; perhaps mine is a valuable addition.

About 10 years ago, I was hungering for an opportunity to be financially successful. I had a steady, stable job with a wonderful organization but unfortunately I was bored out of my mind with my job. I felt a strong entrepreneurial calling and decided to give it a shot. I had recently sold an investment and was flush with cash. I went out and sought a business opportunity to buy, and months later, I bought one. It was in an industry I knew very little about, but I figured I could learn the business, grow it and make something of it.

Mistake #1: buying a business in an industry you know little to nothing about.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s possible to learn a new business and become successful at it, but it usually takes years to develop the knowledge, contacts, and instincts. Are you willing to put in that amount of time?

Mistake #2: buying a business in an industry I did not implicitly enjoy.

I was not passionate about the industry, and consequently, I found it almost impossible to be passionate about my business. I should have known.

Mistake #3: spending too much to buy the business.

I spent most of my life savings to purchase that clunker of a business. I should have negotiated harder, at the very least I’m sure I could have gotten a better price.

Mistake #4: trying to do everything myself.

This was the biggest mistake of all (apart from buying the damn business, of course!) - even after I got the hang of things, I was afraid to incur the costs of paying others to take over some of the necessary tasks. (I understand this is a common mistake amongst small business owners). In hindsight, this should have been one of the first things I did; as a result, I ended up doing every single little thing, and I mean everything. It became tedious and soul-crushing, not to mention wholly inefficient. It also ensured I was never able to grow the business because I was spending all my time simply maintaining it - all while having the pleasure of grinding myself into the ground.

Result: the business broke even at best, and slowly dwindled in pathetic fashion, doing nothing. All while breaking my back (metaphorically speaking) doing the donkey work. It was utterly thankless. I mean, I truly came to understand the meaning of the word “thankless” when I found myself giving up all my free time, evenings, weekends, holidays, etc. doing menial hard labour just for the privilege of breaking even. I’m talking working a 2nd job just to keep money coming in, working all day at that job, going home and having supper, then driving 30 minutes to go to my business - by myself, of course - and do physical labour all alone at night (like, midnight) in an empty warehouse in a creepy deserted industrial area. And very possibly having to get up at 6am the next day to drive back to that industrial area and pick stuff up to make deliveries. Do you know how sh*tty that is? Well, I do! Thinking back, I do not know how I even survived it. It almost killed me.

On a positive note, I can say that I eventually did find ways to parcel out the labour (it literally saved my sanity) while maintaining profitability at least breakeven, and I streamlined the operations tremendously. I then successfully sold the business - at a loss, of course. The new owner was in awe of the improvements I had made - all to his benefit, naturally. :\ I have no idea what happened to the business after that, or if it’s even still around.

This was a long, painful clusterf*ck of a misadventure, 3 years of pure torture. I am still trying to recover from it financially. I regret ever setting eyes on that godforsaken business. But I will say this: I didn’t go broke; I significantly improved operations better than any previous owner; I learned what it took to own a business; and I “took my shot”. Mostly, I learned what not to do. These are lessons I really could have done without.

Getting married.

Bear with me here. I don’t regret the relationship I was in. I don’t even regret that we were married. The mistake I made was getting married for the wrong reasons.

We were in a relationship and lived together for four years. We were in love. Everything was great. My future husband wanted kids (he wasn't sure what he wanted at the time), and my parents were very conservative and traditional guys. I knew that if I had a child out of wedlock, they would be disappointed in me. So I decided to get married because I knew it was something they would want.

The wedding was beautiful, a

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Get marry.

Bear with me here. I don't regret the relationship I was in. I don't even regret getting married. The mistake I made was getting married for the wrong reasons.

We were in a relationship and lived together for four years. We were in love. Everything was great. My future husband wanted kids (he wasn't sure what he wanted at the time), and my parents were very conservative and traditional guys. I knew that if I had a child out of wedlock, they would be disappointed in me. So I decided to get married because I knew it was something they would want.

The wedding was nice, and our relationship was great. No complaints there. But I never really got over my own feelings of not-rightness, because I got married for the sake of someone else. If I hadn’t tried to do the “right thing” by other people, it’s entirely possible that I would have eventually married the same person at a later date. Or maybe not. Who knows.

I kept those feelings to myself, and we had two children and spent another nine years together before we separated. That separation was amicable and friendly, and we’re great co-parents and friends now (people look at us funny when we hang out — especially without the children). But it makes me wince when I remember that I got married to fulfill somebody else’s expectations.

Especially because, many years later, my younger sister had children out of wedlock, and my parents barely blinked.


I’ve made plenty of other mistakes in my life that have impacted in bigger ways, but this is the one that I come back to again and again. Not because it ruined my life (it didn’t), but because I knew it was a mistake when I made the decision, and went through with it anyway.

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