What do you want to know?

Updated on : December 7, 2021 by Ryan Thomas



What do you want to know?

I wish I knew what those eyes meant ...

We were sitting in a cafe, celebrating the last hours of my birthday when I ran into this girl. She was sitting at a table next to us, alone. The place is most famous among solo travelers, but being a tourist favorite cafe, most groups of friends or family were visible.

We were a pack of 4 guys from the same university. We create our own environment and enjoy it. The silly jokes were working their magic and everyone was having fun when I saw her looking at me. When our eyes hit, his eyes moved in other directions.


A couple of moments later

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I wish I knew what those eyes meant ...

We were sitting in a cafe, celebrating the last hours of my birthday when I ran into this girl. She was sitting at a table next to us, alone. The place is most famous among solo travelers, but being a tourist favorite cafe, most groups of friends or family were visible.

We were a pack of 4 guys from the same university. We create our own environment and enjoy it. The silly jokes were working their magic and everyone was having fun when I saw her looking at me. When our eyes hit, his eyes moved in other directions.


A couple of moments later, one of the friends was telling his college story. I noticed that our voices annoyed her. She was looking at all of us, probably trying to tell us, guys, can you keep it a little low! but she kept grimacing and said nothing.

The laughter continued, the narrator was in the mood, and we were enjoying the ride when a “Oh really!” Comment finally came through. I looked up at her and she gave me that frustrated look.

I told my storyteller friend, “You don't seem to enjoy our story. Let's keep things a little low. ”He paused for a moment, gave me a puzzled face, and resumed his story. I went back to that too.


Time passed and soon only my gang and her were left in the Café. The cafeteria manager came up to us and asked us to vacate as it was getting late. We ask for a couple of minutes and start packing our things.

When we collected our bags and were about to leave, he asked for cigarettes from the box.

She sat for almost 3 hours inactive, mostly leaning from side to side. And when the last group, which was us, was about to leave, he demanded a cigarette.

That didn't make a lot of sense to me.

One of my friends told her that we were running out of supplies, but if she wants, she can smoke one with us. She agreed.


We settled in for a couple of minutes. I asked him some formal questions and got a lot of deep looks in return. Meanwhile, the manager of the Café approached her and asked her to leave the place.

She humbly asked, "Let me stay here for the night, since I have no place." I was shocked and asked where he was going after this.

She said, “I don't know. I can not say anything. The problem is, I can't say it. ”Before I could understand what he meant, it was almost time to go.


One of my friends told me that we should go to our hotel because it is getting too late. I looked at her and said the same thing.

Their expressions changed significantly. She started looking at me with puppy dog ​​eyes as if she wanted me to be left behind.

"I'm not happy. I have something to share with you. Can you please…? His eyes tried to speak a lot, but he wasn't.

I never had such a deep conversation with someone as I had with their eyes, we got to know something while we were not speaking anything.

We try to hide our feelings, but we forget that our eye speaks.
People can see the heart through them.


He had an eye that could speak but his tongue was silent. I guess it's better to leave something unexplained.

… .I wish I knew what those eyes meant.

I better choose higher entities while out of body, and return to a certain place I went. It is not good to repeat, I know, but there is one that I like, I want to see again. I was trying to go, but last night I was too tired, sure he showed up, but I declined. It gets a little bit to a point where you wonder if it's safe sometimes, it's becoming overtly powerful. Going from a fully awake state to a 20-30 vibration cycle is HARD, it sounds like a tornado around you, while you are wide awake sometimes, you see everything live, there are no gray areas, there is no blindness during the trip. it's getting pretty wil

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I better choose higher entities while out of body, and return to a certain place I went. It is not good to repeat, I know, but there is one that I like, I want to see again. I was trying to go, but last night I was too tired, sure he showed up, but I declined. It gets a little bit to a point where you wonder if it's safe sometimes, it's becoming overtly powerful. Going from a fully awake state to a 20-30 vibration cycle is HARD, it sounds like a tornado around you, while you are wide awake sometimes, you see everything live, there are no gray areas, there is no blindness during the trip. It's getting pretty wild, oh this, I forgot

Weeks ago, I think I experienced what it's like to get stuck going out with a fan motor, my favorite fan sits next to my bed and it was on, I went out and was stuck for about 45 minutes before something helped and fix me . It has long been suspected that we are electrical in nature, that is, our consciousness is, I really honestly believe that the wire was twisted in the electromagnetic field and the perception of the fans as well, it was a disaster, it literally had a vision distortion while 7 ′ -12 ′ from the body, if so, it should be possible to help propel others, because, even to amplify these experiences if one pokes around carefully and I heard about an experiment that does some of this, But it could block the full scope of a destination or create experiences that are just interference and nonsense. Since I couldn't get unstuck I just "continued" for a second or so, and maybe two to start the signature vibration telling you that you are heading out or under some circumstances back, it can also be done without a long and detailed return is noticeable in some way. , but getting out practically always involves the vibration as you get pulled out, I guess this is good evidence for the skeptics, it's a mechanical thing, it had to end, 100%, not that these are thought to be dreams, but the data suggests that this system has implicit parameters, dreams do not have such problems, 80% of the experience is the same every time, for decades, No one on record has mentioned having the same dream 750 times with 30% of the perceived dream activity varying over time each time and the rest never changing. That is bull, the skeptics are wrong in their alleged "tests" about having had similar experiences that were later shown to be dreams, it used to come out so much that one day I worried that I could not verify what the root of reality was, if it was in home or not? This caused a bit of concern, it was then that I realized what life is for, we are building the capacity to "be", no matter where we are, we are creating an anchoring capacity in a set of realities, if you fear doing it. that, going out, you will not leave, if I get scared while I'm away, I return quickly, if not, I always receive a notification of two "pulls" that it's time to go in a couple of seconds you have a feeling in your midsection. twice so you're sure to notice. Everything has structure. Too much to be anything but sending high-powered electromagnetic fields into test subjects' brains to try to debunk reality is a pathetic endeavor. Most of those who do this are atheists concerned that it is proof of God's existence. It is the lowest thing I have ever heard a person do, I saw the hope that OBEs could start to help people who do not already do it using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... This is how you find the truth, you look for a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. This is how you find the truth, you look for a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern. This is how you find the truth, you look for a pattern. It could be put in place to help people who do not already do so using this same equipment. People's motives make me wonder, one day they burn witches because they are convinced of supernatural events, then they are trying to bury the data and witnesses, hey, a pattern is forming there ... this is how you find the truth, you search a pattern.

There are two things I really wish I knew how to do and I am currently working on both:

Writing and coding.

I'm a little late, I started reading avidly when I was 20 years old. I quickly fell in love with reading and spent much of my free time reading all the weirdest and weirdest books I could get hold of. . I learned basic knowledge on topics like Social Engineering, War Strategy, Social Psychology, real political maneuvers, all that dark shit. It was an incredible experience.
Then I fell in love with fiction, specifically weird fiction and science fiction. I tried Haruki Murakami, fu

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There are two things I really wish I knew how to do and I am currently working on both:

Writing and coding.

I'm a little late, I started reading avidly when I was 20 years old. I quickly fell in love with reading and spent much of my free time reading all the weirdest and weirdest books I could get hold of. . I learned basic knowledge on topics like Social Engineering, War Strategy, Social Psychology, real political maneuvers, all that dark shit. It was an incredible experience.
Then I fell in love with fiction, specifically weird fiction and science fiction. I tried Haruki Murakami, hoping to hate him because he was so popular, instead I adored his writing and his stories. I devoured his books. The same occurs with other authors such as Philip K. Dick, Jorge Luis Borges, Neil Gaiman, HP Lovecraft, and so on.
Then came the desire to create something too. But honestly, my writing skills are unsatisfactory at best, writing fiction is really difficult. I get 3 different ideas for a story every day, but every time I start to write something I quickly get discouraged, I feel like I am not expressing my ideas correctly.

You know what they say: practice, practice, practice ...

Related to that desire to create, I also became infatuated with the idea of ​​learning to program, it seems like a lot of fun!
Right now I'm learning Python and my current goal is that by the end of next year most of the work I do is fully automated by a few smart algorithms. This may be a bit of a stretch for a beginner's goal, but it's the motivation I need to keep learning. Unfortunately my motivation is really easy to dissipate, I always start out strong, do online lessons, read books on the subject, try things at home, and lose energy quickly two to three weeks later.

Still, it's my fault and something I need to work on!

So I guess the bottom line is: do your shit. Just do it. Do not let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday you said tomorrow. JUST DO IT! Do it. Just do it. If you can. Just do it.

I wish I had known what it means to love your body and that the numbers on a scale don't tell the whole story.

Growing up in Asia meant that usually one of the first things family friends and / or parents said when they saw you was weight. Or "oh, you've gotten fat!" or "oh, you lost weight!", never "you look great / healthy!"

Therefore, growing up on the plumper side meant that I ended up hating my body. My mother always told me that I should lose some weight or go on a diet, and after years of hearing the same thing, I really believed that I was terribly fat and would never eat again.

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I wish I had known what it means to love your body and that the numbers on a scale don't tell the whole story.

Growing up in Asia meant that usually one of the first things family friends and / or parents said when they saw you was weight. Or "oh, you've gotten fat!" or "oh, you lost weight!", never "you look great / healthy!"

Therefore, growing up on the plumper side meant that I ended up hating my body. My mother always told me that I should lose some weight or go on a diet, and after years of hearing the same thing, I really believed that I was terribly fat and that I would never be pretty unless I was thin. So my distraught preteen self decided to take action the summer before 7th grade and I ended up half starving to lose weight and finally be a skinny girl. My weight dropped incredibly fast and I soon felt like one of the slim girls. The feeling of being able to put on a small size t-shirt at Aeropostale and not see any bulge around my stomach was amazing, but my body suffered as a result of my poor eating habits. I stopped growing when I should have been growing and as a result,

After about half a year of this, I returned to more regular eating habits after several adults repeatedly told me that I looked pretty sick from the sudden weight loss. The weight came back immediately, but I became more active afterwards, so it was a bit easier to justify my weight ("At least I'm healthy and exercising"). However, I wish my 12 year old self knew that comparing myself to other people would only lead to unhappiness and frustration and that I should be happy with the body that I have.

Even so, I still struggle today to see myself as anything but fat, so I am still in the process of learning this lesson. There are days when it seems like all I feel is fat and that makes concentrating on work very difficult, but I am definitely in the process of learning to love my body, which is something I am proud to say.

I wish I knew that you absolutely have to be cool to survive high school. God, I wish I had.

Before my eleventh grade, an academic year that taught me more than my teachers and textbooks, I was an average innocent girl, and I wish I was the same now - I'm not even ashamed to say this. I used to believe in being myself without filters, anywhere. I used to believe in putting zero effort into presentation. You get what you see. I was a girl who had had a five-year-old boy in her heart. And I loved every part of it.

And the boy was the eleventh grade in a train wreck. This bothered me

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I wish I knew that you absolutely have to be cool to survive high school. God, I wish I had.

Before my eleventh grade, an academic year that taught me more than my teachers and textbooks, I was an average innocent girl, and I wish I was the same now - I'm not even ashamed to say this. I used to believe in being myself without filters, anywhere. I used to believe in putting zero effort into presentation. You get what you see. I was a girl who had had a five-year-old boy in her heart. And I loved every part of it.

And the boy was the eleventh grade in a train wreck. I was annoyed by this guy who I had trusted as a friend, I couldn't make many friends and I had these vibes that people just didn't want me around. All because I was the girl without a filter.

I suffered massive mood swings. Of course, it didn't seem like much, and it probably wasn't that bad, but to me it was life and death. To top it off with sparks, I had just broken up with my best friend of nine years, so yeah, it wasn't exactly my year. I struggled with my academics due to a completely new atmosphere around me. I developed anger problems that still persist.

I was used to the home environment from my previous school, but now I was on a battlefield, barely getting through the day.

And then, I don't know how, but I certainly changed. Blame it on my hormones, but I became terribly aware of everything she was wearing and everything she was joking about. Hell, he was aware of what he was eating in front of others. That wasn't just me. I had been an 'idiot' person all my life. Puberty changed everything.

Or maybe it was the crowd ...

Yes, it was the crowd.

All the people you respect, appreciate, and love have lived the life of an asshole in someone else's story.

Think about it.

How many people have you hurt along the way?

How many people have hurt you but seem to be loved by others and have a normal life?

There are so many versions of EVERY living person floating around.

A devoted child in one's story is an unfaithful spouse in another's.

A loving sister in one's story is a high school bully in another's.

I wish I knew how the world would change if all these versions were screwed up.

If the Nazis embraced the Jews and Switzerland suddenly went to war with the rest of Europe

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All the people you respect, appreciate, and love have lived the life of an asshole in someone else's story.

Think about it.

How many people have you hurt along the way?

How many people have hurt you but seem to be loved by others and have a normal life?

There are so many versions of EVERY living person floating around.

A devoted child in one's story is an unfaithful spouse in another's.

A loving sister in one's story is a high school bully in another's.

I wish I knew how the world would change if all these versions were screwed up.

If the Nazis embraced the Jews and Switzerland suddenly went to war with the rest of Europe.

I wish I knew the vast possibilities of how we could have been different.

In fact, there are a couple of things I would have liked to know more about.

I wish I knew more about music. Specifically read it and then be able to play the piano. I always wanted to be able to do that.

I wish I knew more about my son. He lives in Alabama and is very successful, he is married and his adopted daughter was recently adopted. They also take in other children. We don't see each other much as he lives far away and is always busy. I wish I knew more about him about how he thinks about certain topics and life in general. It's kinda hard to ask this guy

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In fact, there are a couple of things I would have liked to know more about.

I wish I knew more about music. Specifically read it and then be able to play the piano. I always wanted to be able to do that.

I wish I knew more about my son. He lives in Alabama and is very successful, he is married and his adopted daughter was recently adopted. They also take in other children. We don't see each other much as he lives far away and is always busy. I wish I knew more about him about how he thinks about certain topics and life in general. It's a bit difficult to ask these kinds of questions when you're on the phone. I would like to be on a more personal level with him as we were when he was younger and close to home.

My eye color.

I honestly honestly have no idea what color they are.

I usually tell people it's hazel green because they change a lot, but I don't know if they could even be considered "green."

(This is my most recent photo, and they look a little greyish green here.)

However, this is where it gets weird:

What color is this? I don't know and it saddens me a little that I can't identify it.

The closest color I can find is sage green, but even that is a bit off. Not to mention, my eyes change color, so ...

Please comment with any ideas because I would love to know :)

calm down,

~ 𝓈𝒿

Take decisions

(Also spelling decisions is something you should know how to do)

I am the worst decision maker, I fear it every day, big or small.

Today my dad took me out to run errands on the road he asked me "what do you want for lunch, and I don't know, what you want is not an answer", he predicted this! When we finally decided to go to the subway for salads I get behind him in line and let him order first, I ended up ordering the exact same thing minus banana peppers. I can't make an honest decision about lunch on my own, and now everyone keeps asking me what the rest of me want.

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Take decisions

(Also spelling decisions is something you should know how to do)

I am the worst decision maker, I fear it every day, big or small.

Today my dad took me out to run errands on the road he asked me "what do you want for lunch, and I don't know, what you want is not an answer", he predicted this! When we finally decided to go to the subway for salads I get behind him in line and let him order first, I ended up ordering the exact same thing minus banana peppers. I can't make an honest decision about lunch for myself, and now everyone keeps asking me what I want the rest of my life to be like, constantly asking me “where do you want to go to college? What do you want to do for work? Where do you wanna live? Do you want children? What damn nursing home do you want to die in?

I may be stressing out about some things.

Sir or Madam, Two events that I have been curious about for a long time and wish to know the truth about both:

1st - What really happened to flight # 19 that disappeared in 45 'while on a training mission?

2nd - What Really Happened in Roswell NM at 47 '(The Roswell Incident: How the' UFO Sighting 'sparked 70 years of conspiracy theories)

So if anyone reading this "really" knows, please let me know!

Jim

Honestly?

Coping.

I would like to know more about cognitive behavioral techniques and coping mechanisms and I would like to know more about how to implement them effectively in my life. It is not something that I cannot learn from, and it is something that I have been working on to learn and try to do, both myself and with the help of my therapist, but there is a lot that one can do and when it begins to feel like nothing works, you need more options.

When I am overwhelmed, it is easy for me to back down, run away, and give up. I hate that it's easy for me to do those things.

But if I knew more about him

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Honestly?

Coping.

I would like to know more about cognitive behavioral techniques and coping mechanisms and I would like to know more about how to implement them effectively in my life. It is not something that I cannot learn from, and it is something that I have been working on to learn and try to do, both myself and with the help of my therapist, but there is a lot that one can do and when it begins to feel like nothing works, you need more options.

When I am overwhelmed, it is easy for me to back down, run away, and give up. I hate that it's easy for me to do those things.

But if you knew more about the effective implementation of the things that I know of, you may not be that quick to execute it.

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