What advice can I give my friend who hates his job?

Updated on : January 17, 2022 by Gabriel Bates



What advice can I give my friend who hates his job?

I remember exactly the same thing happened to me. He wasn't even a person to miss home, so it was really hard to understand.

Your friend needs to find a way out for the time he has on his hands. Maybe they join a gym or a running club. Or take evening classes.

When my sister got divorced, she felt lonely at home, so she took a second job, working on Friday and Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons. In this way, she was out of the house and earning money as well.

In general, it will only take time and the will to face the fear of the unknown. It gets better.

Two main options: get involved in some personal interests in community organizations to meet people and make new friends, to better adapt to where you are now. Also, stay in touch with the network at home to see if opportunities arise at home to get a new job wherever you want to be, closer to your family or friends. Part of this could be due to adjusting to post-college adult life, which is a major change from college life. It only takes a little time to get used to a new place, a new routine, to find your wings.

Speaking from one, I've been there and made that state of mind ... actually almost 25 years ago, (God I'm not getting any younger ... anyway) I left the military and had my whole life planned, a Receptionist changed my life, she put me a lot in your situation, I left the army, I had a job in an international company, I had no idea what exactly I would be doing, but she paid me well ... (at least that was the sales pitch ). I wanted to go to school, get a degree, and become a doctor before joining the military.

While I was in the military I realized that I was not going to be a doctor, my passion for

Keep reading

Speaking from one, I've been there and made that state of mind ... actually almost 25 years ago, (God I'm not getting any younger ... anyway) I left the military and had my whole life planned, a Receptionist changed my life, she put me a lot in your situation, I left the army, I had a job in an international company, I had no idea what exactly I would be doing, but she paid me well ... (at least that was the sales pitch ). I wanted to go to school, get a degree, and become a doctor before joining the military.

While in the military I realized that I was not going to be a doctor, my passion for saving people's lives left me, while in the Gulf War I realized that the responsibilities of a surgeon were far beyond my comfort zone to a point where I couldn't. dealing with the idea of ​​never knowing if I could have done something different ...

So I flew back to Europe, not speaking any foreign languages ​​fluently, not having a job in line, not having a soul to turn to, basically I jumped into the cold water in the deepest part of the pool and couldn't swim. . However, he knew how to float on water and that is what gets us to where you are now in life.

You find yourself stepping on the water but you don't know which side of the pool you want to swim to, the one that seems to be far away and the water could be deeper, but you don't know for sure because you can't judge the Since the depth is already in the water, the other one is closer and probably safer, but there are a lot of people on the trail that could prevent it from reaching the safety of the edge ...

Your work is the edge of the pool with all the people in your path, the other side the emptiness is your lack of knowledge of what you can be passionate about, this although it seems scary, possibly deep and far is still the safest route, because the only challenge you have in front of you is you, don't let others get in your way or block your way to find what you enjoy doing.

You may end up going underwater every now and then, just be sure to go up, take a deep breath and move on, your passion or purpose is at the bottom of the pool, you have to dive to grab it, but you may find a stone or two in it. the bottom before you find the brass ring you are looking for.

If you hate your job and feel unhappy, miserable, stressed, anxious, tired, exhausted, stuck, lost, confused, fed up, frustrated, angry, depressed, lifeless, exhausted, exhausted, and afraid to go to work, then you are not alone and It's not your fault.

80% of workers hate their job and fear going to work.

They want to have won the lottery so they can escape the 9-5 routine, escape that dead-end job.

You may be working in a toxic environment where you are subject to harassment, belittling, humiliation, incompetence, unsupported or challenging work, you are not learning or growing. you

Keep reading

If you hate your job and feel unhappy, miserable, stressed, anxious, tired, exhausted, stuck, lost, confused, fed up, frustrated, angry, depressed, lifeless, exhausted, exhausted, and afraid to go to work, then you are not alone and It's not your fault.

80% of workers hate their job and fear going to work.

They want to have won the lottery so they can escape the 9-5 routine, escape that dead-end job.

You may be working in a toxic environment where you are subject to harassment, belittling, humiliation, incompetence, unsupported or challenging work, you are not learning or growing. You can walk around with a poker face so no one knows how you really feel and then go home and cry.

If that's you, then you're at point A (hate job) and you want to get to point B (dream job). You want to go from being unhappy to being happy.

Point B is where you experience happiness, satisfaction, better health, better relationships, and financial abundance.

Now point A is your current reality, it is where you are right now.

Point A is within your comfort zone, which I call your danger zone or dead zone because within your comfort zone there is no risk, failure, growth, success or happiness.

Outside of your comfort zone is where there is risk, failure, growth, success and happiness.

Also, the real you is outside your comfort zone, not inside.

So if you want to know who you really are, you have to step out of your comfort zone.

It's about getting comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Point B is where you finally want to be.

It is your vision or model of how you would like your life to be.

Now when you look at where you are, you need to tell the truth, not sugarcoat it and tell yourself it's not that bad.

You need to see it as it is.

In fact, I want him to make it worse because he needs to be disturbed.

You need to dislike yourself and your situation.

You need to feel the pain of not being, doing or not having what you want.

Pain is your friend.

It will motivate you, propel you, and give you the fuel to change your life.

So don't kill him with food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, or anger.

Unfortunately that's what most people do and then the pain goes away and so does the urge and then there's no need to act.

Now it is important to establish the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

This gap is the key to your motivation, your drive and your hunger to want to close the gap by achieving the goal.

Gap = Pain = Drive

Pain is your friend.

What is pain?

Your friend.

So how do you get from point A to point B?

Well, I have developed a 3-step process that I use with my clients to help them get from point A to point B, which I will share with you today.

Step 1 you need to FIND your passion because that is your fuel that will take you from point A to point B.

Step 2 you need to DEVELOP your passion. It's about learning, mastering your craft and growing so that you have something to give.

Step 3 you need to GIVE your passion to the world. It's about helping others and making a positive difference in the world, leaving a legacy.

So the 3 steps are: find your passion, develop it and give it to the world.

In other words, find yourself, develop and surrender to the world.

That is why they have put you on this earth, to add value, to serve and help others. That is the meaning of life, to live a life with meaning.

Moving from point A to point B is what I help my clients with because that is what will create a truly fulfilling life.

I really don't think it's a stupid idea to take a break / sabbatical from work. In fact, this is a very very good idea. This not only refreshes the mind and body, but also makes one feel better about himself in many ways. People who work hard year after year deserve a break in between. When I say "rest", I do not mean the regular 2-3 week annual vacation, but rather being completely away from work to spend more time with yourself for relatively longer periods without having to worry about anything else. Such a break also increases productivity at work and gives you new

Keep reading

I really don't think it's a stupid idea to take a break / sabbatical from work. In fact, this is a very very good idea. This not only refreshes the mind and body, but also makes one feel better about himself in many ways. People who work hard year after year deserve a break in between. When I say "rest", I do not mean the regular 2-3 week annual vacation, but rather being completely away from work to spend more time with yourself for relatively longer periods without having to worry about anything else. Such a break also increases one's productivity at work and gives them new goals and a new sense of direction in their lives.


I have worked not only in India but also 4 other countries in my decade long career. While working for a company abroad, I had a very exhausting period of almost 3 years due to personal and family problems and the stressful work culture in my employer's office at the time with long daily hours, weekends / holidays, etc. I. When I think about it, it still makes me shudder how I managed to get through that period. My health completely deteriorated and I went into a severe state of mental depression. My boss and their bosses hinted that I was not as productive at work as I had been in the past and also told me that it would be challenging for them to justify my role in the office to senior management considering the large-scale layoffs that they were happening randomly.

When I couldn't take it anymore, I thought 'enough is enough'. I quit smoking and just went back to my hometown and sat there doing nothing but eating, sleeping, and hanging out with friends for over 3 months. When I thought I was feeling refreshed, I started applying for a job again. It took me about a month to receive an offer from abroad. I thought that a change of location would be a good thing for me, so I traveled to another country and within a month I realized that I had rushed in and was not yet fully ready to return to ordinary life. . So I quit again, but this time I didn't sit around doing anything. I started applying for jobs in different companies in India itself. Fortunately, when I returned to India, I had job offers from
5 different companies. I asked each of these companies to allow me 4-6 more weeks of time to reestablish and re-energize. 3 of them agreed to do so.
After a month, I accepted the best offer and went to work in a week.

The rest helped me tremendously to overcome personal setbacks and to focus on my work.

However, I can foresee that it will definitely be a great challenge for me in the future to explain these gaps (around 5 months in total) in any job interview I may attend. Taking a year off is not an acceptable response in the job market, especially in a country like India. It may be common in the west, but not in India.

Other Quora users may be able to suggest how I can explain these gaps convincingly without having to lie to anyone.

Let's translate what your question seems to be asking.

I'm 30. Which apparently means "not young anymore." Beyond the point of frivolous, high energy, irresponsibility of adolescence and freedom of the twenties. Young only compared to people 50 and over - a gloomy bunch, you see yourself heading towards, and you don't like the perspective.

Single. It apparently means lonely. Not loved. Isolated. Not wanted. Without importance. Perhaps, Rejected. It is not part of a family.

Unhappy at my job. It apparently means Going Nowhere. Little paid. Bored. Unanswered. Perhaps, lagging behind others. Disregarded. Fulfilling n

Keep reading

Let's translate what your question seems to be asking.

I'm 30. Which apparently means "not young anymore." Beyond the point of frivolous, high energy, irresponsibility of adolescence and freedom of the twenties. Young only compared to people 50 and over - a gloomy bunch, you see yourself heading towards, and you don't like the perspective.

Single. It apparently means lonely. Not loved. Isolated. Not wanted. Without importance. Perhaps, Rejected. It is not part of a family.

Unhappy at my job. It apparently means Going Nowhere. Little paid. Bored. Unanswered. Perhaps, lagging behind others. Disregarded. Achieve nothing. Not appreciated. Without direction.

Do these descriptors more or less summarize your feelings? Hence your question?

A lot of people cross the boundary into their 30s, then stop to take a look and conclude that they haven't accomplished much. That his life is out of control and aimless. Not only are they heading for oblivion, but they have already reached it.

They don't like what they see of their lives: "over 30, single, unhappy." They ask "What should I do now?"

One answer, the easiest, is "run away."

His formulation of that is "drop everything and move."

Where? And because?

What do you think it would achieve? It won't make you any younger. You will not get married or feel less alone. Worse, in fact, because you would be in a strange environment, among strangers.

It will not improve your employment situation or your career outlook. Worse, in fact, because you won't have any job or income. And leaving your job, without significant accomplishments, won't make it easier to get a new and better job. You are also not likely to get good references from your current bosses.

But if you can't run, you have to stay where you are.

Not so good. In fact, many thirty-somethings feel trapped. Hopeless. Failed. Aimless. It needs a change.

Thus, more or less as an act of desperation, they find the next available woman and marry. Probably giving her immediate relief, because she had been worried about being in her 30s, childless, with her biological clock ticking.

And, again more or less desperate, to find another job. It may not be too difficult to get a new post. In fact, it will be a lot easier to land the next new job after that, which will be incredibly difficult to get.

And what do you think is likely to happen if you follow such a program?

Let me guess. Generally, shortly after the second child is born, one discovers that it has been a boring and unsatisfying marriage. Mortgage payments. High property taxes. Big payouts on the BMW. Rising costs for kids, eventually a monumental problem with college spending. No career advancement. Still underpaid and unappreciated.

Still trapped. Much worse than before.

Thinking again of running away. Unfortunately, an even worse prospect than before.

Back to reality. It might not be a good idea just to get married and look for a new job. He must have made a mistake, somewhere a long time ago.

Maybe so, but the past is set in stone. I can't change that.

So take a look and ask some strangers "What do you think?"

Well, since you asked, I think you need to make some changes to yourself. The problems you feel are not defects in your job or your employer. Not with a world that is indifferent to you. Not with the "right woman" who has eluded you.

Instead, it's most likely you. Your life feels out of control, because you have not taken control of your life and made it fulfilling. I suppose that, like so many people, you have mainly let things happen to you and have "let yourself go".

The first thing you should probably do is take your job a lot more seriously. It's not just a place where you show up five days a week, do what they're told, and cash a paycheck every now and then. If you think other people are getting ahead of you, it's probably because they are. They are taking the job much more seriously than you are, for your benefit.

This answer may not be an introduction to how to be more effective in your work, but that is a topic that deserves much more attention and effort on your part.

The same goes for your social life, particularly marriage and family. You won't get there, by no means effective in the long run, with parties and weekends at the beach and casual rolls in the hay and hanging out with the trophy girls with the biggest tits. What are you doing to prepare yourself to be a truly good husband, homeowner, and family man?

Again, this answer cannot be an introduction to how one matures and prepares to become a responsible husband and father. However, there is a great deal of published information about it and many "older" people willing to give advice and advice. (Don't waste your time with the cynics).

Passing 30 does not mean that you have passed the point of learning, change, development and maturity. At first glance, it seems to me that you have a considerable need for all of these. And that kind of growth will solve all those other feelings you seem to have, in a much better way than trying to run away from your problems.

I am a 30 year old woman from Delhi. I married the love of my life four years ago. He has done a lot for me, he has taken care of me for the last four years. I used to be high achievers in school and college life, but my work life is a big mess.

I was fired from my job after eight months of being married. I joined another IT company and it was a nightmare and I quit very soon. I went on to do an MBA and passed out with great success. The job I got on campus sucked and I felt harassed by the CEO of the company and the job in general, so I quit again. I have terri

Keep reading

I am a 30 year old woman from Delhi. I married the love of my life four years ago. He has done a lot for me, he has taken care of me for the last four years. I used to be high achievers in school and college life, but my work life is a big mess.

I was fired from my job after eight months of being married. I joined another IT company and it was a nightmare and I quit very soon. I went on to do an MBA and passed out with great success. The job I got on campus sucked and I felt harassed by the CEO of the company and the job in general, so I quit again. I have terrible anxiety. Anxiety that paralyzes me and prevents me from sleeping, resting or socializing. Anxiety attacks are very common and I am very afraid of finding a job. The thought of sitting in a cubicle in front of the screen for 10 hours makes me nauseous. The lack of flexibility and the daily commute kills me. My anxiety appears within 3 hours of sitting in any office, I panic and sweat and sometimes even cry.

Ten months of unemployment have passed after my MBA now. My husband helps me pay off my student loan and I feel really bad about it. We do not wish to have a child at this time due to financial reasons.

I would like to start something of my own in the long term, but I have no ideas to start. I am a trained yoga practitioner and I shine well in academia, but desk jobs give me anxiety. I know committing suicide is frowned upon. But my anxiety and the guilt of being unemployed are killing me every day. I fear losing my husband and his love if I commit suicide, which is the only thing that prevents me from posing. I have undergone over 30 therapy sessions, but nothing has helped me in the long run. The anxiety medications make me groggy and I hate taking them. The worst part is that even yoga doesn't help you deal with these turbulence.

When I have a job, I have anxiety and too many panic attacks. When I'm unemployed, the guilt of not working kills me. I used to be attractive and had a nice personality, but now I look sick and pale. I'm just counting days before I muster up the courage to pull the final trigger on my life. But I fight every day to live for the sake of my loving husband and my beautiful parents. I have tried praying, meditating, exercising, eating a balanced diet, talking with friends, etc., but I can't seem to find any long-term solutions. I no longer want to be the victim, I want to cause a change in my life. I want to love and take care of my family and make them happy and proud.

If anyone has any positive and genuine advice, please give it to me. What career can I choose with my anxiety levels? I don't need the criticism because I'm already on the edge of my sanity. Please help!

-Confused soul!

In 1999 I "woke up" to the realization that I had no passion for the work I was doing and had no idea what I should do instead. I did exactly what Andrew Gumperz and Rory O'Brien recommended: I was clear about what interests me and the types of experiences I find most enjoyable. Don't leave the question, "How could I make a living doing that?" dissuade you from deep and honest inquiry into the question "what do I love to do?" Clarify the what and why first, and move on to the how later.

Working with the Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation to explore my skills helped me understand why I like it

Keep reading

In 1999 I "woke up" to the realization that I had no passion for the work I was doing and had no idea what I should do instead. I did exactly what Andrew Gumperz and Rory O'Brien recommended: I was clear about what interests me and the types of experiences I find most enjoyable. Don't leave the question, "How could I make a living doing that?" dissuade you from deep and honest inquiry into the question "what do I love to do?" Clarify the what and why first, and move on to the how later.

Working with the Johnson O'Connor Research Foundation to explore my skills helped me understand why I liked doing the things I enjoyed the most. I'm sure there are other companies that do the same, but these guys are professionals www.jocrf.org

Unfortunately, realizing I was unhappy and coming up with ideas for what I could do instead did not automatically create the courage to quit my job and change careers.

I went back to school and got a master's degree. I changed jobs within my company several times, even moving abroad ... and after a few years the voices in my head stopped asking, "How could I risk leaving?" to "How could I risk staying?"

I don't want to get mystical, but it sure seemed like "the universe was moving" once the question in my head changed: Within a few weeks I had a couple of unexpected calls from old friends and impromptu meetings with acquaintances that led directly to me. next job. and a career in a completely different field.

I'm not sure how old you are, but you should know that your father does that job out of love for you. She'll probably stick with that until you leave the house, because she has an inner drive to provide you with the way animal parents care for their babies. So even though he complains, that's his stress reliever. You are not likely to continue this work forever. As a training supervisor, you probably like a lot of things in your job, but you only hear about the bad stuff because that's what needs to be released.

You cannot change it, but you can change yourself and positively affect it to help.

Keep reading

I'm not sure how old you are, but you should know that your father does that job out of love for you. She'll probably stick with that until you leave the house, because she has an inner drive to provide you with the way animal parents care for their babies. So even though he complains, that's his stress reliever. You are not likely to continue this work forever. As a training supervisor, you probably like a lot of things in your job, but you only hear about the bad stuff because that's what needs to be released.

You can't change it, but you can change yourself and positively affect it to help reduce stress in your life. For example, you can start eating healthy foods and go for a walk after dinner and invite him to join you. You may resist at first; people usually do it when you ask them to change. But after a while he may start to go with you and find that he enjoys this time with you. Nothing could be better for a family with heart problems (although please ask them to see a doctor before they start an exercise program, you want to help their heart, not harm it). This will help both of you. Get a pedometer like FitBit (or any free app like Pacer) and you can be in for a friendly competition that you will remember forever.

I come from a working-class family like you, and I know what it's like when finances are tight. Do well in school, apply for lots of scholarships even if you don't think you'll get them (you're only right if you don't apply), and go out on your own so your dad doesn't have to worry about you. (and you care about him) for the years you still have together. If necessary, research non-combat roles in the military so that you can use their educational benefits. Get a guaranteed military job written on paper; anything a recruiter tells you is worthless. Being independent will ease many of your father's worries and help him get to a healthier place with less stress.

Wanting to have a good alternative is different than looking for one and then paying the fees necessary to make it happen.

I sympathize with your situation. So, I hope it doesn't sound harsh. But many of my clients have what I call the "I will think of it" fallacy. They believe that they will simply be presented with a great job / career path without doing any significant Exploratory Work (my term for all work required to discover a career path).

Her situation is particularly challenging because she has relationship problems intertwined with her career. That's hard because I know

Keep reading

Wanting to have a good alternative is different than looking for one and then paying the fees necessary to make it happen.

I sympathize with your situation. So, I hope it doesn't sound harsh. But many of my clients have what I call the "I will think of it" fallacy. They believe that they will simply be presented with a great job / career path without doing any significant Exploratory Work (my term for all work required to discover a career path).

Her situation is particularly challenging because she has relationship problems intertwined with her career. That's difficult because I know it could be challenging to tell your family that you want to consider other careers.

However, spending more than 40 hours a week doing what you do not like to do when you could do something more aligned with your interests, does not make sense, especially when you are 25 years old and I suppose you have no children to support.

Now is the time to put a great deal of energy into brainstorming, researching, reading, and reflecting in an effort to try out different career alternatives.

Best of luck.

Learn from what led you to quit, don't hold a grudge, accept ownership of your actions, and be positive about the future.

Acknowledge the things that worked well and be honest with yourself about the things you did or didn't do that led to your quitting. Don't be a victim of your quitting action in the past, be proud that you took control (regardless of your time, you are now in the past).

Set short, medium, and long-term goals for skill development that will help you overcome old and new obstacles. Then create a plan for your success.

Find a mentor and don't be afraid to ask for help, most people

Keep reading

Learn from what led you to quit, don't hold a grudge, accept ownership of your actions, and be positive about the future.

Acknowledge the things that worked well and be honest with yourself about the things you did or didn't do that led to your quitting. Don't be a victim of your quitting action in the past, be proud that you took control (regardless of your time, you are now in the past).

Set short, medium, and long-term goals for skill development that will help you overcome old and new obstacles. Then create a plan for your success.

Find a mentor and don't be afraid to ask for help, most people are happy to help someone who is trying.

Make a plan for a happier life. Follow the plan far enough that when you commit to quitting, you are in control of your new path. Now quitting smoking is a path to success, and you are in the driver's seat. Feed on it.

Other Guides:


GET SPECIAL OFFER FROM OUR PARTNER.