My son was sentenced to 15 years in prison. He has 20 years. I don't want you to feel depressed and give up. Is there anything I can do for him while he's in prison?

Updated on : January 21, 2022 by Ashton Shepherd



My son was sentenced to 15 years in prison. He has 20 years. I don't want you to feel depressed and give up. Is there anything I can do for him while he's in prison?

Absolutely, there are several things you can do to help you while bidding. It is important to make sure you have canteen money on your books. Especially if you are in jail waiting to be transported to prison. Food in jail is disgusting. Still, after a while, you start to feel like eating. There is not much more to look forward to. If the food was disgusting, you could get used to it, but it's also very scarce. Without a dining room, you will go to bed hungry every night. Once in prison, the food tastes a little better and the portion sizes are usually a little larger than you need.

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Absolutely, there are several things you can do to help you while bidding. It is important to make sure you have canteen money on your books. Especially if you are in jail waiting to be transported to prison. Food in jail is disgusting. Still, after a while, you start to feel like eating. There is not much more to look forward to. If the food was disgusting, you could get used to it, but it's also very scarce. Without a dining room, you will go to bed hungry every night. Once you are in prison, the food tastes a little better and the portion sizes are usually a little larger than what you get in jail. The money from the canteen also provides him with hygiene products (the products given to homeless people are so pathetic and useless that people use them for everything except hygiene, such as using toothpaste as glue, and the state laundry soap). Paper, envelopes, stamps, colored pencils, decks of cards, and radios are some of the entertainment items that can be purchased at the canteen. When you're staring at walls and living with a group of strangers, you really need an outlet to escape misery, like music and art, unless you want to go crazy. And nobody wants that. decks of cards and radios are some of the entertainment items that can be purchased at the canteen. When you're staring at walls and living with a group of strangers, you really need an outlet to escape misery, like music and art, unless you want to go crazy. And nobody wants that. decks of cards and radios are some of the entertainment items that can be purchased at the canteen. When you're staring at walls and living with a group of strangers, you really need an outlet to escape misery, like music and art, unless you want to go crazy. And nobody wants that.

As important as the canteen, I think its external connection can be even more important! The mail call is the best time of day. If you receive a letter even once a week, you know that you are not "out of sight, out of mind", you can find out what is going on with your family, and if you are very lucky you will receive pictures. or even books and magazines that your family has commissioned. An extremely small minority of the population ever receives a letter, much less frequent mail. It makes you feel very, very loved. Phone calls are expensive, but being able to call home on a weekly or bi-weekly basis is also something to value. Finally, there are the visits. Depending on where your child is transferred (you must write a request to be transferred to the best possible prison you can go to depending on your charges, or the closest prison to your family if that prison is not that bad) visits are the end of everything, be everything when you're locked up. You can watch, hug and eat with your family (if he has contact visits and there are vending machines in the visiting room). You wake up the morning of your visit (if you can sleep the night before despite your excitement), you shower, get dressed, and sit and look at the clock until the time of your visit. The visit really lifts your spirits, makes you feel human, and keeps you afloat for quite some time. be able to sleep the night before despite your excitement) shower, dress, and sit and watch the clock until visiting time. The visit really lifts your spirits, makes you feel human, and keeps you afloat for quite some time. be able to sleep the night before despite your excitement) shower, dress, and sit and watch the clock until visiting time. The visit really lifts your spirits, makes you feel human, and keeps you afloat for quite some time.

Having said all this, the most important thing to remember is to never, EVER, say you are going to do something and not do it. Whether it's writing letters, paying for phone calls, saying you'll put money in their books, or visiting your child. If there is even the slightest chance that you will not be able to keep your word, do not tell him that you will do something that you may not be able to do. Nothing, absolutely nothing, is more discouraging and depressing than being told that you are going to receive letters, to the canteen, visits or that you will be able to make calls, but when you go to call you cannot communicate, ask for your canteen but there is no money in their books, they are waiting for a letter, or God forbid a visit that has waited all day, but nothing and no one ever comes. That 'is not only heartbreaking, but it is also extremely embarrassing.

Having been sentenced to 15 years, I seriously doubt this will be his first offer, but in case you need a little advice, it's this: trust no one, lend nothing. When the other prisoners see that you are loved, for some reason they respect you, but they also attract vultures and leeches. You will have to realize that 99% of the people who are trying to be your friends are doing it to see what they can get out of you. It's okay to very discreetly feed your cellmate if you're hungry (you definitely don't want it to be known that you're sympathetic or giving away items), but you should let it be known straight from the door that it won't become a habit. If your celly starts trying to escape from him, then you will have to put your foot down. It's nothing personal, but if I gift my food, then I am the one who is going to starve, and my family does not pay to feed other people. Another important thing is to "borrow". You'd better never loan an item if it's going to be a problem when you don't get it back, because you probably won't get it back. A lot of guys are willing to fight for a radio or whatever, but most of the time they know they can take it without the person being very opposed. So no, you can't borrow any of my stuff. My batteries must last, my food must stretch, I don't get it that way. I'm sure you've seen by now how much theft, collusion, and manipulation there is inside. You should know that ultimately you would be a fool to trust someone. You have friends, yes, of course, but never give anyone 100% confidence. They try to get everything from you, from your phone calls to your toothpaste. And if you make a deal to loan an item and you don't get your money back, then you can either do something about it or come across as easy prey. That's the worst thing you can do to yourself, is to let someone get away with it. You just have to be really smart, trust no one, keep your head down, and make that moment.

So ... letters, calls, visits, dining room. Give it your time, basically. Don't forget about him. He will think a lot about you and the rest of his family. Don't let it feel forgotten. I hope you get to a good prison. If you behave, you will get privileges, you will be able to live in the best part of the prison, you can even be transferred to a better prison and you will have a better chance of getting parole. Don't expect to be able to write every day or receive calls every day or anything, you won't be able to keep up for 15 years. Start out as moderate as you will need to be for the next 15 years. Otherwise, he will feel that he has lost importance to you as time goes on. Although at first he will need a lot of reassurance. After the first three weeks, it will be installed and adjusted, that '

When you go out, you should be aware that your life has been very slow. Even traveling by car or going to a convenience store can be scary and anxiety-inducing. And forget about Walmart or some other crowded, chaotic place. So the fewer people, fewer places, the less stimulation you have to deal with for the first few weeks, the better. I hope you two are okay. Right now it feels like the end of the world to him, but life goes on, it gets better. Also, once you are in prison and you can go out and have contact visits and things, better food, etc., it is much more bearable than jail. MUCH better than jail. My husband turned 10, it felt like forever, but he's been away since 2008 and he's doing great now. My mom did 8 years, she has been away from home 20 years. I also did a year, but I had to stay in jail all the time. The incarceration eventually ends. If he's a good kid, it'll be worth it, especially at his parole hearing. One day it will all end. Like my mom used to say, they can hold you but they can't eat you. They will let you go sometime!

There are many things you can do, unfortunately I had to spend a few years in a state prison. When I learned that I was being directed to a maximum security prison for 7 to 10 years, I thought my life was over. I felt that I would be 60 years old when I left, even though the reality was that I would be 30 years old, but being given a sentence like that, you don't think too rational.

I remember when the bus came and the admission process I had to go through, I was terrified even though I acted like it didn't bother me in the least. They processed me and sent me to my cell where they gave me basic instructions about the

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There are many things you can do, unfortunately I had to spend a few years in a state prison. When I learned that I was being directed to a maximum security prison for 7 to 10 years, I thought my life was over. I felt that I would be 60 years old when I left, even though the reality was that I would be 30 years old, but being given a sentence like that, you don't think too rational.

I remember when the bus came and the admission process I had to go through, I was terrified even though I acted like it didn't bother me in the least. They processed me and sent me to my cell, where they gave me basic instructions on the policies and scheduling of meal times. I put my things on my bed and decide to go down to the recreation room to see what everything was like. He'd worked county time before, so even though it was the big leagues, he knew how it all worked.

I started making friends on my first day and I learned the unwritten rules among inmates, I ran into some obstacles along the way and it wasn't until I got around 16 months old that I had some problems. I was with a guy who was a really bad person and he seemed to have a problem with me. One day, during the time in the yard, we finally did it, and I won the fight, which gave me a good isolation punishment.

The year passed and I didn't get into trouble, I was famous and nobody wanted a problem with me, so we got along much better. I made a friend who was much older than me, was serving a 22-year sentence, and he explained to me how the system really works. I listened to what he had to say and it was good that I listened.

I learned from him the appeals process, how to find fault with my case, and how to claim false statements. I also learned how to present hostile treatment by law enforcement agencies and the lack of a director in the court process as they did not hold the director in my case while I was being mistreated. I learned the power of giving a statement under duress. I learned about due process and the laws that had been violated in the police intake process.

Needless to say, I chose my case, filed my appeal motion, and got a new court date within about 3 years in prison. Another year passed before I finally got it all together after several dates, and I went to a new trial. I was able to refer witnesses to my case and make statements for my defense, and I received a good lawyer, and we requested the dismissal based on the time served. It wasn't like a regular trial where they tell you what's next, they said I'd get the court's answer in the mail and I'd have to take it from there.

I was really disappointed with this, because they didn't give me an answer in the mail to put me in prison, so why is it going like this now? However, I remained calm because I knew that if he showed any hostility, it would work against me. Finally, about a month later, I received my letter and opened it in a hurry, my term was shortened to the time of a 4-year sentence. I literally jumped up and screamed woohoo, because my 4th year was completed in 2 days after receiving the letter.

Now the last 40 hours or so took forever, I kept trying to find something to pass the time, I was finally able to fall asleep after being awake for more than 20 hours. I only slept about 6 hours and the next 4 hours took forever because I was writing in my journal to document my stay and try to speed up time without paying attention to the clock. Then I did my routine for my day, which they said I didn't have to do, but I knew I would go crazy trying to pass the time. So in my last 2 and a half hours, they took me down for release processing, which only took about half an hour. I was very happy about that because it meant that I had to sit in the separation facility for 2 hours. However, the guards were fine, they brought me some food and a soda, and they also gave me a magazine. I only had an hour left and finally time started moving and fast, I smoked a cigarette and read one last thing in the magazine, I looked at my watch and saw that I only had 15 minutes left, so I saved everything and cleaned my dirt, I looked up and I only had 5 minutes left. In fact, I started to get nervous about leaving and my pulse raced with my anxiety going crazy, but just as the green light over the door came on and the doorbell rang as it opened, I grabbed my bag of things and headed out through the door. I was. I had friends waiting outside to pick me up and we left. But just as the green light over the door came on and the doorbell rang as it opened, I grabbed my bag of things and walked out the door. I had friends waiting outside to pick me up and we left. But just as the green light over the door came on and the doorbell rang as it opened, I grabbed my bag of things and walked out the door. I had friends waiting outside to pick me up and we left.

You should now investigate your child's case and request copies of the files that were used in the case. Go over each of the sentences written in these files, word by word. Find the wrong moments listed in the statements, find the flaws from one testimony to another. Be sure to circle anything that doesn't match with a red pen, so that it stands out. Write one of those flaws in a notebook, put together everything that doesn't seem right like a puzzle, and then ask for an appeal hearing. Now, I'm sorry to tell you, if it was a violent crime, don't bother because it can work against you, but other than that, do everything you can to get the appeal and hopefully a dismissal. So I hope this helps you and things improve.

Take it from someone who has been in prison for two-thirds of his life (I am 41 years old) - your child needs to know that you will be there for him throughout his sentence.

Try to suppress the need to argue on the phone. Prison is quite stressful as it is, it doesn't need you to add to that stress. I know sometimes it's hard not to argue, but the reason I call home in the first place is to feel the love of friends and family that's so lacking in the cold, loveless prisons I've been in. Correctional officers are not your friends, sometimes they can be, but at the cost of other inmates thinking

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Take it from someone who has been in prison for two-thirds of his life (I am 41 years old) - your child needs to know that you will be there for him throughout his sentence.

Try to suppress the need to argue on the phone. Prison is quite stressful as it is, it doesn't need you to add to that stress. I know it's hard not to argue sometimes, but the reason I call home in the first place is to feel the love of friends and family that's so lacking in the cold, loveless prisons I've been in. Correctional officers are not your friends, sometimes they can be, but at the cost of other prisoners thinking you are a snitch and treating you like one. Most of the time, however, correctional officers, especially administrative staff, are worse than the inmates themselves. If your child is working on an appeal, they will find tensions like out-of-service copiers that unsympathetic staff refuse to fix, especially when they know you have urgent materials that need to be mailed soon. As an outsider, you may think that prison staff are there to keep your son safe and help him with his rehabilitation. Au contraire. Mostly, they are there to socialize with their correctional friends and ignore the prisoners as much as possible. God help your child if you think it is necessary to file a complaint against a staff member. Retaliation can sometimes be much worse than what another inmate can do to you. They are primarily there to socialize with their correctional friends and ignore the prisoners as much as possible. God help your child if you think it is necessary to file a complaint against a staff member. Retaliation can sometimes be much worse than what another inmate can do to you. They are primarily there to socialize with their correctional friends and ignore the prisoners as much as possible. God help your child if you think it is necessary to file a complaint against a staff member. Retaliation can sometimes be much worse than what another inmate can do to you.

Solitary confinement may seem like a relief at first, but the hole / SHU (Segregated Housing Unit) has its share of stress. The phone calls are only once a month, the mail is rare, the showers are taken in chains that do not allow it to reach its most smelly parts, and it is made to use soap that causes skin lesions. The SHU is never silent. To avoid insanity, inmates resort to yelling at other inmates in other cells and carrying on the conversation over breakfast the next day, making lack of sleep the thing that will drive you crazy.

Diesel therapy is what staff do to inmates who have complained about them to such an extent that perhaps it could involve the media or internal affairs - they drive you through weeks of jail time in prisoner races. You can't sleep in a bed and when they unload you at night they put you in a 40 ° F cell without a blanket, chained up all night. In fact, the chains remain on you throughout your "Therapy" session. In the chains it is impossible to clean oneself, you know what?

In prison, life sucks if you don't have someone to send you money. Money allows you to make phone calls, send and receive emails, buy an MP3 player (at an exorbitant price) (televisions are connected to FM transmitters to reduce noise by having inmates wear headphones to listen to television, and to This, an MP3 player is also useful) and the expensive music that accompanies it (a track can cost up to $ 1.55), allows you to buy the hygiene that you should get free from the prison, shower shoes to avoid having foot fungus . and semen on the feet (most prisoners masturbate in the showers), warm clothes for winter and light clothes for summer and, of course, food. Prison food is rarely delicious and having the money to buy food at the commissary is a blessing. The commissary is expensive, so don't think your child is trying to get money for illegal things. Commissary items are supposed to be no more than 30%, but mostly they have an increase of 300% or more.

Do you want to know what you can do for your child? Be your shoulder to cry on, be your support both financially and emotionally, and your child will be able to endure whatever hardships he may encounter during his sentence.

My son was sentenced to 20 years when he was 19 years old. He and 3 of his friends went to fight with some guys who were “talking nonsense” and they brought a gun. This happened around 8 am. When they got to the house, they kicked the door and ran to look for the boys ... they weren't the ones mom was with her teenage daughter. My son and his friends left after receiving $ 8 in exchange. They were arrested immediately after. He was in the county jail from January to July, his first time in jail, when he accepted the plea deal. He was too young to know what he was doing by taking it. His attorney was a public defender w

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My son was sentenced to 20 years when he was 19 years old. He and 3 of his friends went to fight with some guys who were “talking nonsense” and they brought a gun. This happened around 8 am. When they got to the house, they kicked the door and ran to look for the boys ... they weren't the ones mom was with her teenage daughter. My son and his friends left after receiving $ 8 in exchange. They were arrested immediately after. He was in the county jail from January to July, his first time in jail, when he accepted the plea deal. He was too young to know what he was doing by taking it. His attorney was a public defender who didn't care or help him. I was hiring a lawyer. He said no and accepted the plea not to waste my money on his mistake. I would be homeless for the rest of my life to have that child at home. He is now 21 years old. I am still discouraged. Actually, it's pretty good most of the time. Even though he's in a 11-11 facility, so he's locked in 23 hours a day and has 1 hour a day to make phone calls and take a shower. I'd say put money in his books, write to him, post updates on him and how to write to him and visitor information on your Facebook account. My son has a tablet and receives emails. If yours share that information and help people set it up. It's cheap and a lot easier, so people are more likely to do it than write letters. Mine calls me every day, has set weekly hours to call, so I try to be around other people that I want to talk to. always answer. You are their connection to the world. He will ask you to message people to check how people are, etc. Talk about what is happening, but in a subdued way. You need to feel that you are still a part of real life, but not be reminded that you are missing out on real life. Submit photos and books. Make frequent video visits if you cannot visit them in person. Usually when we talk it is normal, we laugh, joke and talk nonsense. Read about people you know who went to prison for long periods of time, but still went out and did so many things that it is shocking to hear that they spent so much time in prison. I don't know what it's like to be in prison so I can't comment that these are just things I've been doing. I know what it will probably be like for you ... depressing and devastating. Sign up for advocacy group emails so you can help turn things around. Join Prison Family Communities Online; they are great for information and support. Investigate your case, investigate the laws, Investigate other similar cases, also familiarize yourself with the processes of the prison system. Seek advice if you need it. Don't blame yourself. Time will pass and you will be home again. Sending love and good thoughts. This too shall pass ... Sign up for advocacy group emails so you can help turn things around. Join Prison Family Communities Online; they are great for information and support. Investigate your case, investigate the laws, Investigate other similar cases, also familiarize yourself with the processes of the prison system. Seek advice if you need it. Don't blame yourself. Time will pass and you will be home again. Sending love and good thoughts. This too shall pass ... Sign up for advocacy group emails so you can help turn things around. Join Prison Family Communities Online; they are great for information and support. Investigate your case, investigate the laws, Investigate other similar cases, also familiarize yourself with the processes of the prison system. Seek advice if you need it. Don't blame yourself. Time will pass and you will be home again. Sending love and good thoughts. This too shall pass ... Time will pass and you will be home again. Sending love and good thoughts. This too shall pass ... Time will pass and you will be home again. Sending love and good thoughts. This too shall pass ...

When I was 20 years old (only 2 months before 21) I was facing from 5 to 99 years on a drug charge (it was made up in my opinion, but that is beside the point). I ended up accepting an agreement with the prosecution for 8 years, 5 of which I did it inside; the rest were on probation. I was sentenced before my 21st birthday.

As others have said, keep in touch with him, be it phone calls and / or mail. Makes an inmate feel good about receiving a letter during the mail call. Depending on the prison, send aid packages and put money in your police station account; this will make your time multiples easier.

Regarding the aid packages

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When I was 20 years old (only 2 months before 21) I was facing from 5 to 99 years on a drug charge (it was made up in my opinion, but that is beside the point). I ended up accepting an agreement with the prosecution for 8 years, 5 of which I did it inside; the rest were on probation. I was sentenced before my 21st birthday.

As others have said, keep in touch with him, be it phone calls and / or mail. Makes an inmate feel good about receiving a letter during the mail call. Depending on the prison, send aid packages and put money in your police station account; this will make your time multiples easier.

When it comes to help packages: be sure to check with your installation to see what they allow. I was in Texas, and when I read a book about spending time in Texas prisons, the author actually mentioned that it is easier to list everything that is allowed to send. These consisted mainly of stationery (electronic envelopes without stamps (no stamps allowed), calendars, although inmates do not usually like calendars and paper), books, magazines (no nudity), newspapers, etc., and photographs (again, not nudity, but some photos I saw weren't too far apart). These items had to be shipped directly from the merchant. Don't buy them and ship them from home (except the photos I think).

Above all, outside communication and money from the police station should keep you saner and hopefully out of trouble. People who didn't have a commissary sometimes traded illicit substances or had a Hussle side like washing clothes.

This is not something you can really do, but the prison I was in has several shows. GED among the best. In fact, I got an associate's degree. They also offered vocational trades, AA classes, all kinds of religious programs, some other classes that help you work on yourself.

In Texas there was a law library that was quite comprehensive for people who wanted to appeal or work their cases. There was also a regular library; although this one was not like the one in the Library of Congress, but I read and learned some interesting things.

As much as this situation sucks, use it as a way for your child to grow and learn. I hope this helps. Also, as others have said, unless you have federal time, you probably won't for the 15 years. I saw someone get paroled in less than 3 years in a 20-year sentence; the problem is that you owe him his time no matter what, so he has 17 years on probation.

Hi there! First, I want to tell you that I am sorry to hear that your son was sentenced to prison. Not only the condemned are punished with prison, the families, especially the mothers and grandmothers who also suffer. I hope you find strength through all of this and know that you are not alone. I don't know his son, I don't know what he was convicted of, but I have a brother who turned 21 years old. My brother, my best friend, is really guilty of what he was convicted of. And throughout those 21 years, I got to know many prisoners. So I can give you the common phases men go through (n

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Hi there! First, I want to tell you that I am sorry to hear that your son was sentenced to prison. Not only the condemned are punished with prison, the families, especially the mothers and grandmothers who also suffer. I hope you find strength through all of this and know that you are not alone. I don't know his son, I don't know what he was convicted of, but I have a brother who turned 21 years old. My brother, my best friend, is really guilty of what he was convicted of. And throughout those 21 years, I got to know many prisoners. So I can give you the common phases men go through (they never met a recluse) after sentencing and throughout their sentence.

Above all, they claim to be innocent. They all swear that they did not do what they were sentenced to do. As a mother, you have to see through this. If you know you are guilty, then defend the truth with love. If he feeds on a false reality, he will never progress and the prison will only torture him and turn him into a very dark man. Then everyone finds Jesus. This may not happen to your child, but it happens to most. They go to church, they all want to become pastors, they all feel that the Christian god put them there and there is some kind of calling and the reason why they are there. Then they begin to believe that a miracle will happen and they will be released. If you are a Christian, this will seem wonderful at first. But then every letter and conversation will be filled with Bible verses and discussions about God, Jesus. Later, there will be a return to the old ways. Breaking rules, being sent to the "hole", maybe involving drugs. Like I said, this may not be the path your son takes, but most inmates do. Some even cycle through this depending on how long they are there. That is why I said at the beginning not to feed any denial on the part of your son. If he is guilty, defend your position and tell him that you did what he did, and these are the consequences. People always blame the prison system for not taking responsibility for “rehabilitating” and the inmate for living outside of prison. This is a lie. Prisons offer a lot of help. There are many universities and groups that are allowed to enter prisons on a weekly basis to educate prisoners, offer training, certifications and diplomas that inmates can wear once they are released. They even get college credit! All of this is free! All the inmate has to do to take advantage of these amenities is have a job, obey all the rules, and stay out of trouble. This is how they get the rehabilitation that everyone says the prison system does not offer. At some point, the person has to be responsible for himself and make good decisions. There is no "programming" of the brain to learn to have a good and honest work ethic or empathy for other human beings. You would encourage your son to stay away from religion in jail. Prison is not the place to find god or faith. It will affect your mindset and your progress. You should do this on your ability to be responsible for your own decisions and actions. This is how they get the rehabilitation that everyone says the prison system does not offer. At some point, the person has to be responsible for himself and make good decisions. There is no "programming" of the brain to learn to have a good and honest work ethic or empathy for other human beings. You would encourage your son to stay away from religion in jail. Prison is not the place to find god or faith. It will affect your mindset and your progress. You should do this on your ability to be responsible for your own decisions and actions. This is how they get the rehabilitation that everyone says the prison system does not offer. Sometime, the person has to be responsible for himself and make good decisions. There is no "programming" of the brain to learn to have a good and honest work ethic or empathy for other human beings. You would encourage your son to stay away from religion in jail. Prison is not the place to find god or faith. It will affect your mindset and your progress. You should do this on your ability to be responsible for your own decisions and actions. Prison is not the place to find god or faith. It will affect your mindset and your progress. You should do this on your ability to be responsible for your own decisions and actions. Prison is not the place to find god or faith. It will affect your mindset and your progress.

Your child needs to get as much free education as he can, have a job even cleaning bathrooms, read books, and even educate himself when he's not in class. 15 years is a long time, but I promise you that when the end of that sentence comes, it really won't be. Make sure you visit, tell the family to visit, and take the time to connect. But don't spoil it! Don't feel sorry for him. This is a moment of tough love but unconditional love! And remember, this is not your fault! Good luck! My brother met a smart, beautiful woman who works for the district attorney and is living a beautiful life in Pittsburgh! There is hope.

I did 20 so I have some credibility in giving this answer. I was 18 when I started my sentence. Depression will happen. He is separated from his family and has to deal with a completely strange environment. You will have to choose who to partner with. All are screened in prison. Then it will go where it wants.

With him doing so long, he will have to make some critical decisions about his sexuality, drug use, what to do for an identity. People get into a rut and who they associate with has a lot to do with it.

Having said all that, you will witness your child go through a transformation. He

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I did 20 so I have some credibility in giving this answer. I was 18 when I started my sentence. Depression will happen. He is separated from his family and has to deal with a completely strange environment. You will have to choose who to partner with. All are screened in prison. Then it will go where it wants.

With him doing so long, he will have to make some critical decisions about his sexuality, drug use, what to do for an identity. People get into a rut and who they associate with has a lot to do with it.

Having said all that, you will witness your child go through a transformation. He will climb to the top and be his own person, or you will see him fall. The only thing you can do is the following

  1. Visit as often as you can and be consistent. So don't visit much at first and then visit less frequently several months later or a year later. He will hope to see you all the time. He will live each week, each month, turning his time around seeing you. It will be one of the most important moments of your life.
  2. Never lie or hide information from you. So if someone got hurt, or is in the hospital or dies, you need to tell them the truth. And be quick to tell them. Many think they are saving us pain by withholding information, but the opposite is true. Once we find out that a secret has been kept, we wonder. We always wonder how bad it is ... and what secrets are kept. We anticipate the worst secrets. So if you try to call and can't get through, you'll wonder the worst. Therefore, never hide information or lie to him.
  3. Include it in everything. Make decisions with him and introduce him to other family members. You will be their only window to the free world besides television. It is a nightmare to witness everyone living their life while you have little or no influence. So let him influence things.
  4. Get him magazine subscriptions. Newspapers are good too if you like them. This will be another window to keep up with the world. I had a subscription to Popular Mechanics and Game Informer, and it meant a lot to me. When I came out, I was aware and knowledgeable enough about what happened in the last twenty years. I adapted very well, and a lot was due to the newspaper and magazine subscriptions I had.
  5. Put it on a budget. Your child may be the person who likes to borrow, or he may even start using drugs (which are very easy to get in jail). While you can't choose how you will always use the money you give, you can budget for it. People don't need a lot of money to live well in jail. Things are usually cheaper than the free world. Twenty dollars a week is a modest amount that helps but does not make you an ungrateful child who uses it without appreciation. Another concern is that it is not subject to extortion. If they know that you get a lot of money from your house, the wolves start to lurk. They will know you have extra money because they will see you get commissary (what they call the store in the jail). So be modest with what you give him. You can also arrange to send him a box of food or a box of clothes / miscellaneous. Be modest with that too. Everyone will notice that you are succeeding.
  6. Never give him the money he asks for. The reason for this is that nothing is so important that you need it right away. The only possible occasion is if the prison has a fundraiser, which has a deadline for the purchase. However, the deadline is usually a month, or a couple of weeks at the very least. The guys who need money so badly are using drugs or getting extorted. Even if you say your life depends on it, it is not. People can go to the hole for safety. So even if he is extorted, the solution is not for him to pay. The solution is for him to defend himself or to be transferred to another place where his extortionist is not. Telling the prison staff is also not a solution, because you are labeled a snitch and will give you trouble throughout your sentence.
  7. Communicate with him through the mail and through any email service they have. Send images both ways. Holding a letter written by you will be precious, and holding a photo is much better than just being able to see it on the newsstand or tablet. During all his time he will go to the hole (isolation as punishment for violating prison rules). Generally, you will not be allowed to bring your tablet. So the photos and letters will be of great value in helping you get through this time of isolation. As with visits, you must be consistent with your communication. Will look forward to each one.
  8. If your child likes books, people can usually send him things like that. See prison policy. Some people get into ttrpg as d & d (a video game that is played essentially on paper). Others enjoy graphic novels like anime or Marvel comics. People don't steal books (well, they can, but it's unlikely).

The most important thing to realize is that it would be strange if you weren't depressed. Know that it will be very far from you, in a world that is totally separate from everything you or he knows. It has its own rules and culture. There is nothing like it. You may see some difficult things, but don't overreact. If he got into a fight, then that's typical. That means he is learning to defend himself, or that a fight is not something to fear. What is normal and typical in prison is not normal in the free world. So be careful not to overreact, because your overreaction will only make him worry and stress even more.

I had a horrible experience with my mother's entire side dying in a span of four years. I spent two years talking to my mother on the phone and heard her health deteriorate. It was horrible. Fifteen years is a long time. I hope you don't have to deal with a family death, but you need to plan for it in case you do. So include him as a beneficiary in things like life insurance, vehicles, and bank accounts. Otherwise, it will be forgotten and examined. My family never thought of doing it because they had each other as beneficiaries. This is a common practice, because your child cannot do much for you from jail. However, if there is no one left, he will inherit everything and will have to be named ultimate beneficiary. Otherwise, you will have to go through probate court to access and manage your estate.

Above all, you should know that life is not flowers, and not everything is shit. Life throws us a curve ball and brings the greatest of joys. Build a solid foundation using this as a guide. And always remember, consistency and communication is key. You can still be the wonderful mother that you are, even to a son who is in prison.

I have yet to read all the other opinions, so I apologize if I am repetitive. I found myself in a similar situation at 18. And the only two people next to me were my mother and my ace up my sleeve, my best friend. They accused me unjustly and “betrayed” me out of spite. In turn, things went fast. A completely different story. But my point is that things were very, very bleak and even though I was innocent in theory, I was running and shooting and needed to slow down to some degree. And because of my reputation, my mother was the only person in my entire family, besides my younger sister, who even believed in a wo

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I have yet to read all the other opinions, so I apologize if I am repetitive. I found myself in a similar situation at 18. And the only two people next to me were my mother and my ace up my sleeve, my best friend. They accused me unjustly and “betrayed” me out of spite. In turn, things went fast. A completely different story. But my point is that things were very, very bleak and even though I was innocent in theory, I was running and shooting and needed to slow down to some degree. And because of my reputation, my Mother was the only person in my entire family, besides my little sister, who even believed a word I was saying and thought that I deserved everything I had.

I say all this because believing in him and being by his side means more than you will ever know, regardless of his actions and guilt. Trust me, it's cold, lonely, and scary no matter what or who you are outside.

My best advice would be to keep money on your books if possible. As the coin is king on the inside as it is on the outside. But be careful and discreet and he should do the same. Never discuss money in person or by mail. It should be just an understanding.

Keep him feeling the love with letters and whatever literature is allowed. Especially material that will help you when you go out. Coding is a great tool that can be easily self-taught. But technology is changing at a dizzying rate. So it's always new if that's a route.

And don't tell him who his girls or girls or boys are fucking. It won't do any good. And there is no need to update you on drama. All the drama works its way through anyway.

Keep him informed on current technology and the best news of the month and the year. It didn't happen to me, but I had a friend who came in before Facebook and IPhones, he was impressed and it took him a real time and he thought to understand how much those two elements basically changed everything in how our world not only communicates, but is develops on a day-to-day basis.

If you haven't already, you need to get in shape. I'm not sure if he went straight in or if he has a bit of time before his time starts. But mostly they only bother with the weak. But everyone gets tested to see if that has any bitch in it. So no matter the fear, don't show it. And defend yourself each and every time.

And also tell him never to accept anything from anyone. It is always a trap. Even if it's a year later and you think you're cool. If you didn't know them and grew up with them outside, don't trust them. It is better to be wrong than to be a victim.

If you're in California, Arizona, Utah, and I think Colorado, I'm not sure because I'm from AZ. But Cali and AZ are run the same way, keep your race to survive at all costs. Even if you are not racist at all. It's about survival. Don't even talk to another race or go to a cell, even if they assign you another race. He will get you killed immediately, even if you didn't know it.

Visit as much as possible. It means the world. Because most forget, which only pushes them further down. Don't cry when you see it. Stay positive and smile even if he is not in the same place. Or even if you want to break down. It will only make shit harder.

Lastly, focus on probation and appeals. Both of you learn as much as you can about the law. You can possibly change the result if you know the law. And being your outside, learn everything about the judge and the prosecutor, and whoever follows them.

I was in a situation where the judge and my defense attorney for whom my mother built her house were first cousins. And the detective was married to an officer who was the judge's sister. Law enforcement agencies and officials run in the same circles most of the time.

And finding a crack in that circle could change everything. He did it for me.

Good luck. It will not be easy. But keep your pride and respect and stay the course. It is a long time. But it will end. Just stay the course. Unless you've murdered someone just because they're a bloody savage or a rapist, I don't think anyone, for any reason, should do it for more than a couple of years. And that's even pushing it. It's a screwed up system, all based on Plea Bargains.

LEARN THE LAW AND LEARN ABOUT ALL OFFICIALS AND WHO, WHO AND WHO HATES WHO. YOU CAN FIND A RESPONSIBLE. AND DO YOUR BEST TO GET A NEW TEST. AND TAKE THE COURT AND ADVANCE THE DISTANCE. NO NEGOTIATIONS WITH EXPULSION. DON'T BE SURE OF YOUR CASE OR THE CIRCUMSTANCES, BUT ALMOST ALWAYS, WHEN YOU'RE HERE AT THIS KIND OF TIME AND MURDER YOU WAS NOT INVOLVED, IT WAS DURING A SETTLEMENT. FUCK A SUPPLY. THAT GOES FOR EVERYONE. FUCK A SUPPLY.

I WISH YOU THE BEST LUCK AND SICK. PRAY FOR BOTH. STAY COURSE AND KNOW GOD IS STILL A THING, AND IT JUST NEEDS ONE CRACK TO CHANGE EVERYTHING.

I was 20 years old and sentenced to 306 months in federal prison for white collar crimes. There are things you can provide during your incarceration. (1) money for commissary items, which is a wide range of things, from shoes to toothpaste to certain foods. (2) You can probably send him as many books as he wants through Amazon. Reading is such an important part of dealing with incarceration. My cell was 5x8 and I was locked in it for 12-15 hours a day, depending on my work assignment schedule, so having reading materials to pass the time was essential. (3) I know the federal prison system

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I was 20 years old and sentenced to 306 months in federal prison for white collar crimes. There are things you can provide during your incarceration. (1) money for commissary items, which is a wide range of things, from shoes to toothpaste to certain foods. (2) You can probably send him as many books as he wants through Amazon. Reading is such an important part of dealing with incarceration. My cell was 5x8 and I was locked in it for 12-15 hours a day, depending on my work assignment schedule, so having reading materials to pass the time was essential. (3) I know that the federal prison system offers educational classes or courses, but books and class materials often cost money. Find out what interests or skill sets you want to develop while incarcerated, and perhaps pay for that education. (4) I wrote in numerous high schools, elementary schools, and colleges / universities requesting old / outdated / replaced textbooks in the subject areas of math, accounting, US history, and German. I received an overwhelming response, literally hundreds and hundreds of books dumped in the prison. I remember the associate warden berating me for 10 minutes for causing such a stir, but then when a news reporter came to the prison to interview him and the warden, they took all the credit for the story and allowed the inmates to have the opportunity to do this. . I self-taught math from 4th grade to master's level, the same as with accounting. I read hundreds and hundreds of books on the American Revolution, the Civil War and the two WW's. Self-taught the German language. I read the cover of the Bible to cover hundreds of times. I planned my day in my cell as if I were going to a class where I would spend an hour each day on these subjects. During the final closing time, countdown and lights out, I read classic novels (hemingway, dickens, etc.). (5) Buy him a good Bible if he likes religion and encourage him to go to prayer groups and Bible study. I enjoyed doing it and he took me out of the cell at certain times when I would otherwise be locked up. Self-taught the German language. I read the cover of the Bible to cover hundreds of times. I planned my day in my cell as if I were going to a class where I would spend an hour each day on these subjects. During the final closing time, countdown and lights out, I read classic novels (hemingway, dickens, etc.). (5) Buy him a good Bible if he likes religion and encourage him to go to prayer groups and Bible study. I enjoyed doing it and he took me out of the cell at certain times when I would otherwise be locked up. Self-taught the German language. I read the cover of the Bible to cover hundreds of times. I planned my day in my cell as if I were going to a class where I would spend an hour each day on these subjects. During the final closing time, countdown and lights out, I read classic novels (hemingway, dickens, etc.). (5) Buy him a good Bible if he likes religion and encourage him to go to prayer groups and Bible study. I enjoyed doing it and he took me out of the cell at certain times when I would otherwise be locked up. (5) Buy him a good Bible if he likes religion and encourage him to go to prayer groups and Bible study. I enjoyed doing it and he took me out of the cell at certain times when I would otherwise be locked up. (5) Buy him a good Bible if he likes religion and encourage him to go to prayer groups and Bible study. I enjoyed doing it and he took me out of the cell at certain times when I would otherwise be locked up.

However, the financial support is enormous. Because you will only get paid pennies an hour when you are assigned work and it doesn't go far ... $ 40- $ 50 a month and the commissary is often overpriced, especially in the federal system.

And continue to show support and encouragement. So many incarcerated have no family or outside support. Trust me, it's all for seeing cards and letters from relatives saying they love you.

I hope this helps

I have never been to prison, but I have experience as a humanitarian activist and activist against the death penalty with experience in the criminal justice system (including death row) in the United States and some experience working with former prisoners in the Kingdom United. .

The first thing to understand about the prison, any prison, is that it is a system. Anyone who is sent to prison becomes part of that system. The first thing I would recommend to your son is that he forget about being a part of society and focus only on being a part of whatever society exists in prison. This means you have to find a way

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I have never been to prison, but I have experience as a humanitarian activist and activist against the death penalty with experience in the criminal justice system (including death row) in the United States and some experience working with former prisoners in the Kingdom United. .

The first thing to understand about the prison, any prison, is that it is a system. Anyone who is sent to prison becomes part of that system. The first thing I would recommend to your son is that he forget about being a part of society and focus only on being a part of whatever society exists in prison. This means that you have to find a way to adapt to the system and be useful to both prison staff and fellow prisoners. From this, you will develop a sense of purpose and something to focus on to pass the time and maintain a sense of worth. The actual reason he was sent to prison, that is, to serve and do penance, is of secondary importance.

The first thing I would recommend doing abroad is developing all the support you can for your child. Please keep in mind that you are now in a society that is made up of criminals, and where there is a society, there is organization, and when criminals have the opportunity or organize things, they tend to develop gangs.

The thing about gangs is that they are not the tough, hardened criminals as they are portrayed on reality television. They are practically the same gangs that are found on the streets. They are weak, cowardly, and prey on the weak, vulnerable, stupid, and isolated. You need to find ways to ensure that your child is supported abroad by a support network and this means things like frequent letters, frequent contact, frequent visits if geographically possible.

Another useful trick is to get your child to study law so that in addition to working and being useful to prison staff, he can also help other inmates with things like appeals, writing, and giving advice. Depending on how much contact you have with other inmates, there are always some who may be wrongly convicted, innocent or believed to be innocent, or denied due process, had incompetent attorneys, or were even groomed, framed, or coerced. Again, it doesn't matter if they really are or not, because that's what the courts must decide, and the real issue here is getting your child to finish his sentence with the fewest possible infractions on his record.

This is the biggest difference between prison and free society. Outside of prison you can get away with it and get around things. In jail everything matters because the file is important as well as your reputation among the other inmates and everything costs. The only thing that matters is taking your child on a parole trip in the shortest amount of time possible.

That's all the advice I can offer based on my secondhand experience, and I'm sure there are probably people who have served time in prison who can offer you a better perspective and better advice based on their personal experiences.

Oh! At age 20. many young adults have not yet reached their full cognitive / rational development. All it takes is ONE option to change the course of their lives and be in the wrong place / time / without resources for proper legal representation.

As a parent, it will have an impact on you: holidays, birthdays, current events, etc. You may find an opportunity to improve there, but it will require a "community" effort. Do you have other family members who can write and offer support? Some facilities offer classes, certifications, etc. They have work release programs, but they may not be available until

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Oh! At age 20. many young adults have not yet reached their full cognitive / rational development. All it takes is ONE option to change the course of their lives and be in the wrong place / time / without resources for proper legal representation.

As a parent, it will have an impact on you: holidays, birthdays, current events, etc. You may find an opportunity to improve there, but it will require a "community" effort. Do you have other family members who can write and offer support? Some facilities offer classes, certifications, etc. They have work authorization programs, but they may not be available until he is at least six months old. Ask them to ask about it or you may be able to request verification by contacting their management offices.

Send him books that you have read yourself and then ask him to read them to follow up to make sure he has understood the point and can relate to you about it. Provide common talking points that both of you will need. As time goes by, you will find that you may become quieter on your calls. Reassure him that he will always improve. He has a lot of life ahead of him. You may need to lead / lead the conversation in your chats. You will need your "voice", information and feelings because no one else will be able to give you that foundation in your environment. Over time, find out when you can get an activity / good behavior credit appeal. Sometimes if you went to school earlier, your part time can be cut.

Are you and him of faith or spirituality? Religious services should also be offered. Many people find their time away from all social distractions transformative in their belief system. Use this time to focus on your belief system and moral compass.

All my suggestions are to foster a vision for your future. You will have one, but you will need a lot of help to get there. Guide him to acknowledge his mistake. You will re-enter society one day, but you should be a productive citizen, not a broken one. Insist and defend that you will be whole and healthy during and after your incarceration.

This American system is more of a punishment in terms of long and disproportionate sentences for certain ages and ethnic groups in the United States. Criminal justice reform is long overdue.

Don't get me wrong, I agree with living in a society where laws are enforced but not biased to benefit the elite, rule out people with addictions and / or mental health issues or where it is used as a cheap industry. Mass incarceration is an 81 billion dollar industry. Now that we are in the pandemic, the reality of the overcrowded conditions is evident and still officials will not reduce their populations for safety reasons. Nobody is perfect: our young people in that age group 15-23 are particularly vulnerable.

I really wish you and him all the best.

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