My coworker and I are not that close and we only talk about work. We have known each other for 3 months. Is it appropriate for me to ask you if we can be friends on Facebook?

Updated on : December 3, 2021 by Robert Burke



My coworker and I are not that close and we only talk about work. We have known each other for 3 months. Is it appropriate for me to ask you if we can be friends on Facebook?

Yeah that's fine, but judging by how scared you are of doing even that, unless she's extremely introverted or you have zero chances with her.

Anyway, it seems that you are fooling yourself a bit about how interpersonal relationships work, treat the people you care about like anyone else you would do the same with. Don't put it on a pedestal, it's weird and sexist.

You have many friends on Facebook and she is just another person, if you see that she adds you as a Facebook friend as the first step to be with her and evidence that she loves you, you are pathetic.

Everything you do with someone you're with

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Yeah that's fine, but judging by how scared you are of doing even that, unless she's extremely introverted or you have zero chances with her.

Anyway, it seems that you are fooling yourself a bit about how interpersonal relationships work, treat the people you care about like anyone else you would do the same with. Don't put it on a pedestal, it's weird and sexist.

You have many friends on Facebook and she is just another person, if you see that she adds you as a Facebook friend as the first step to be with her and evidence that she loves you, you are pathetic.

Everything you do with someone that interests you and that you also do with other people should normally be seen as a standard interaction, nothing more. Once you've made connections with someone in the same way that you do with anyone else, you can move on to things that you don't do with anyone else, flirting.

Good luck don't be a creep

It is NOT appropriate and I hope you do not put yourself in an embarrassing situation.

You are not close, just co-workers. People have social media pages that reveal part or a large part of their personal life.

Putting her in a situation where she would have to reluctantly allow you or in the awkward situation of ignoring or blocking you is not a good thing, not for coworkers.

I think being cautious and not doing it is the best option.

Why would you do it? you do not know her. When you know it, add it. May not combine work and social

Why?

If you're not close and only talk at work, why do you need her to be "friends" on faceshite?

The only way to know for sure is to ask them in person. But you hardly ever talk. So you might seem a little strange.

I am trying to figure out the Facebook friends algorithm. Because I'm nosy.

So, I know Facebook never reveals the game when it comes to who looks at your profile, but I'm curious. On my friends list (on the timeline), there is definitely some sort of pecking order, most of my good friends are at the top. When I look at other friends' lists, YOUR good friends are at the top (sometimes me, hooray!).

This leads me to believe that it is a "people you interact with the most" algorithm, which seems straightforward. However, some people I rarely interact with, when I click on their list, they have me

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I am trying to figure out the Facebook friends algorithm. Because I'm nosy.

So, I know Facebook never reveals the game when it comes to who looks at your profile, but I'm curious. On my friends list (on the timeline), there is definitely some sort of pecking order, most of my good friends are at the top. When I look at other friends' lists, YOUR good friends are at the top (sometimes me, hooray!).

This leads me to believe that it is a "people you interact with the most" algorithm, which seems straightforward. However, some people that I rarely interact with, when I click on their list, they have ME very close / at the top. Which makes me wonder, huh. How does Facebook think WE have been interacting? I mean, are these people 'stalking' me? (Don't use this term seriously, of course).

I thought maybe the friends list is a subjective list tailored to the viewer, rather than an objective list, but this seems not to be the case. Often times on friend lists, people that I've never interacted with / seen their profile with are at the top and are people that I know are good friends with that person.

I'm just curious and I have too much time on my hands, I know. But there seems to be some kind of secret information Facebook is subtly revealing here and I want to know what it is, damn it. Does anyone have inside information?

(PS. I'm talking about the main list after 'mutual friends').

I can understand that your first instinct might be to be upset. Who likes to be lied to?

The thing to keep in mind is that for many people “friends from work” is not the same as having a personal friendship. Do you really hang out outside of work? Do you call or text each other about things that are not work related?

Keeping your social media private does not mean that you are not important, some people just like to keep their personal lives ... personal. Maybe you have a totally different life outside of work that you might not want your coworkers to know about. I am a performing artist and for years, I did not want

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I can understand that your first instinct might be to be upset. Who likes to be lied to?

The thing to keep in mind is that for many people “friends from work” is not the same as having a personal friendship. Do you really hang out outside of work? Do you call or text each other about things that are not work related?

Keeping your social media private does not mean that you are not important, some people just like to keep their personal lives ... personal. Maybe you have a totally different life outside of work that you might not want your coworkers to know about. I am a performing artist and for years, I didn't want to share that with my co-workers because I didn't want them to see it before they saw me as a professional. Or maybe you just draw a line between work and personal, regardless of how much you like your coworkers. You may have had a negative experience with this kind of thing in the past. I've seen people get into trouble at work because their "friends" told / showed their manager what they posted online.

So many possibilities.

I suppose you could always ask, although that might be a bit strange for her. But if you can, I would tell you not to worry and enjoy the friendship. So maybe ... just maybe one day she will let you into her secret superhero life.

Did you hear that the Atlantic Ocean will completely dry up in May?

Look, I got your attention (or maybe not, I'm not a stalker).

That's what you have to do, dear friend.

"Hello", "hey", "how are you", that sucks. Nobody wants to hear that.

Hook it up.

Here are some options. With real evidence (not fake news)!

1. The scare.

Everyone knows the scariest words in human language.

"We need to talk."

"I have a question."

Things like this are terrifying. When I get text messages like this, I instantly assume someone told everyone a secret about me that they didn't even know about me. It is intense. That'

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Did you hear that the Atlantic Ocean will completely dry up in May?

Look, I got your attention (or maybe not, I'm not a stalker).

That's what you have to do, dear friend.

"Hello", "hey", "how are you", that sucks. Nobody wants to hear that.

Hook it up.

Here are some options. With real evidence (not fake news)!

1. The scare.

Everyone knows the scariest words in human language.

"We need to talk."

"I have a question."

Things like this are terrifying. When I get text messages like this, I instantly assume someone told everyone a secret about me that they didn't even know about me. It is intense. It's frightening.

2. A language they don't understand

Nothing takes my breath away more than someone speaking in another language.

What are they saying? Are they laughing at me? What do you want to tell me? Is this a secret code?

(I know Spanish is not correct, I only speak Spanish II hehe).

They will spend some time on Google Translate, thinking of you. What is more romantic than that?

3. Charge them with a crime

Nothing says "talk to me about baby" more than a nice false accusation.

They'll be like, "wait, did I really commit that crime?"

I promise you, you will get their attention.

4. The stem

You may want to text them, but the conversation will be dry if you have nothing to talk about.

So show up at their doorstep and then text them.

Just congratulate them on their crown or something. That will get the conversation going.

5. Get your point across, my boy

Just do it you know Tell her you love her, friend.

You got this.

And last but certainly not least:

6. Declare war

Confidence is super sexy, we all know that.

Start a war. Fight for her love. Fight for her love.

I don't know what this was.

But follow these pro tips, she will love you in no time.

bless i bili,

Emma <3

When he asked for the first time, it was normal.

The second time, it was annoying, but he could excuse himself if you wanted to excuse him. (We can give you the benefit of the doubt, and we think you were just communicating politely to make sure your first 'no' was your final answer.)

Anything in the past that is unacceptable. In the social environment it is unpleasant, and in the work environment it is reason (where I work) to be summoned to the big office and told that its behavior must stop, or else.

Times are changing for women in the workplace. But women must take responsibility for speaking out. The #metoo thing

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When he asked for the first time, it was normal.

The second time, it was annoying, but he could excuse himself if you wanted to excuse him. (We can give you the benefit of the doubt, and we think you were just communicating politely to make sure your first 'no' was your final answer.)

Anything in the past that is unacceptable. In the social environment it is unpleasant, and in the work environment it is reason (where I work) to be summoned to the big office and told that its behavior must stop, or else.

Times are changing for women in the workplace. But women must take responsibility for speaking out. The #metoo thing was a kickoff, but it's up to each woman to carry the ball.

When you meekly accept rude and annoying behavior, you miss the opportunity to (a) keep him from bothering you, (b) keep him from doing the same to his next target. He also (c) provides help and comfort to all similar bullies in his workplace, who take note of his meek acceptance. In addition, (d) you miss the opportunity to set an example and pave the way for the next person to face the same situation in your workplace. Finally (e) you lose the opportunity to act like an equal and not like a soft girl.

The best way to handle it? Report him to your supervisor or give him one last chance by saying out loud that you will file an official complaint if he bothers you again.

Also ... I'm not 'blaming the victim' here, but if you haven't gotten the message, ask yourself if it's because your version of "I'm not interested" has been delivered in a weak and soothing manner rather than in a demanding voice. I respect. Maybe not; It may be so. It's just something to think about.

I only add people I know or who were referred by someone I trust for a specific reason.

In case you didn't know, you can separate anyone you add your friends into different types of groups.

For example, you can make a grouping just for coworkers, so they don't see the posts you might make on a topic that could be inflammatory. Or maybe something that could get you in trouble at work.

Alternatively, you can create a Facebook page that is explicitly for co-workers and / or acquaintances to follow. This way, you can manage that content separately, while still allowing people to follow

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I only add people I know or who were referred by someone I trust for a specific reason.

In case you didn't know, you can separate anyone you add your friends into different types of groups.

For example, you can make a grouping just for coworkers, so they don't see the posts you might make on a topic that could be inflammatory. Or maybe something that could get you in trouble at work.

Alternatively, you can create a Facebook page that is explicitly for co-workers and / or acquaintances to follow. This way, you can manage that content separately, while still allowing people to follow you.

The former is rarely a good unfiltered idea, as I don't think you should be punished for your opinions or your sense of humor.

I myself separate people into groups and limit the people I allow them to enter on my personal Facebook to those who know me personally (and know what they're getting into!).

I always tell people, I will not censor myself in private:

😄

Don't talk about topics that could potentially hurt you or get you fired.

No matter how much you think your coworkers are family, they will turn against you if the opportunity arises and you blew them.

No sex

No drama from mom or dad

No drug, alcohol or substance abuse

No financial difficulties

Not even your dog's name

Any

Any

Any

It's okay to share SOME information so they don't think you're a creepy serial killer, rapist, or period monster.

But nothing incriminating or worthy of dismissal.

🥴 They will also abuse your services, so be careful with that information as well. Don't gloat. And be tired of pers

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😄

Don't talk about topics that could potentially hurt you or get you fired.

No matter how much you think your coworkers are family, they will turn against you if the opportunity arises and you blew them.

No sex

No drama from mom or dad

No drug, alcohol or substance abuse

No financial difficulties

Not even your dog's name

Any

Any

Any

It's okay to share SOME information so they don't think you're a creepy serial killer, rapist, or period monster.

But nothing incriminating or worthy of dismissal.

🥴 They will also abuse your services, so be careful with that information as well. Don't gloat. And you are tired of personal questions about your daily routine and how much money you make or which car you drive.

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