My 14 year old son wears his 15 year old sister's clothes. That I have to do?

Updated on : January 17, 2022 by Matias Wilcox



My 14 year old son wears his 15 year old sister's clothes. That I have to do?

Transgender woman here: I * was * the kid my mother caught wearing my sister's clothes.

There is no single, simple answer to your question. People wear stereotypical clothing of the opposite sex for various reasons. These are the most common, in order from least to most likely that your son is truly trans and will one day become your daughter:

  1. Playing "dress up" with his sister.
    This is totally innocent; he gets along very well with his sister and wants to be included in their playtime. Let her express herself, but also gently remind her that she is not to wear her sister's clothes to
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Transgender woman here: I * was * the kid my mother caught wearing my sister's clothes.

There is no single, simple answer to your question. People wear stereotypical clothing of the opposite sex for various reasons. These are the most common, in order from least to most likely that your son is truly trans and will one day become your daughter:

  1. Playing "dress up" with his sister.
    This is totally innocent; he gets along very well with his sister and wants to be included in their playtime. Let him express himself, but also gently remind him not to wear his sister's clothes to school, or later in life, at work, because he will lose friends and lose job opportunities. It is ugly, but it is a reality in most places.
  2. Wanting to act / get noticed.
    The most obvious example of this is a "drag queen", someone who disguises herself as a woman to perform her job. Contrary to popular belief, drag queens aren't transgender or gay (necessarily, they could be, but they're more likely to just like acting, and that's how they make a living: acting).
  3. They don't like boy's clothes or are bored with limited clothing options.
    Since gender is a construction (not set in stone, or biologically immutable), * everyone * of any gender might like a bit of variety in their wardrobe. That doesn't mean they're gay or transgender, just that they're bored.

    This is especially likely with boy's clothing that tends to be dark primary colors, has basic fabrics, and an outfit is simply of the "T-shirt and jeans" or "sweater and jeans" variety. They do not get to experience what it is to express themselves through their clothing. That can be limiting for some children. The good news is that this kind of self-expression is sometimes encouraged these days; Rather than being a serious taboo, wear clothing assigned to the opposite sex.
  4. Sexual fetish.
    I know I know You don't want to think of your child this way. But they are a teenager. They have been sexually conscious, but probably not sexually active, for a while. Some boys who do not conform to gender have a sexual fetish for wearing clothing of the opposite sex. This usually goes away over time when they start to come out; But, it could be indicative of a bigger issue that you both need to be aware of (like being transgender).
  5. You feel better when you wear girlish clothes.
    If the only reason they wear girlish clothes is that they feel happier and better fitted that way, it is quite possible that * she * will later become a transgender woman. I know I did.
    You will need a lot of support and a lot of love during your transition to adulthood, if you decide that you need to transition.
  6. Sometimes she wonders if life would be so much better if they were a girl.
    Not everyone fits a gender binary model. Your son may not need to transition to a woman later in life, but he is "somewhere in the middle" of the gender spectrum, which encompasses many stereotypically male traits and many stereotypical female traits. Within the trans community, this is often described as non-binary, non-gender, agender, or gender-fluid, depending on the specific subcategory that best describes your child's gender identity.
  7. Her self-image focuses on being a woman. She wants to be a girl and cannot imagine living her entire life as a boy.

    Congratulations, it's a girl! Sorry, but that's a reality that you will face later.
    If this is the reason your child gives for dressing in her sister's clothes, there is nothing you can say or do to discourage her from wearing girlish clothes. Help her create her own wardrobe so she doesn't cause trouble by borrowing her sister's clothes.
    Get her in counseling or therapy with someone who specializes in gender issues as soon as possible. Then let the therapist, and more importantly, your daughter, decide how to move on from there.
    One thing to keep in mind is that 40% of transgender people will attempt or consider suicide at some point in their lives. We are at a higher risk of attempting suicide and a higher risk of being successful. If you suspect that your child may be transgender, make an appointment with a therapist or counselor as soon as possible. What they wear is not more important than their life.

    So to answer your question: What do you do? I think you should rephrase this question, for yourself. You may not need to "do" anything. This could be a passing phase. Or, even if the phase doesn't pass, a completely harmless act of self-expression. You may just want to play with your sister or express yourself through her clothes. That's not a big deal.

    If it is a sexual fetish, or if you suspect they may be transgender, Google the many resources available to identify trans people and locate professionals to help with gender issues / alleviate gender dysphoria (the feeling that your gender does not match the biological sex of the body you were born into).

    However, before starting treatment, consider simply having a chat with your child. Nothing serious: They will react to how you choose to pose the question and how you feel about it, if you don't present your poker face. Believe me, I know, when my mom asked me why I was wearing my sister's clothes, I was very nervous and worried, and I lied to her about it.

    Then I spent another 2 decades suppressing my true self and denying that I was transgender, while this secret ruined all my relationships and made me go from job to job, not fitting in or belonging to any place or anyone.

    Start by finding out from your son why he wears his sister's clothes; none of us on Quora will know. Every person is different and there are many reasons why a person does this. I wish you the best of luck and please contact us if you have any further questions or need further assistance with this.

Get it from a good heterosexual therapist ... keep trying different ones until your child finds one with whom he is comfortable ... unfortunately our society has lost all understanding of right and wrong and when our human sexuality, one of the best and most mysterious gifts that God has given us, it is involved, we just have no idea ... Generally, sex today is seen and used as a means by which we are destined to experience physical pleasure ...

This attitude will not bring happiness to anyone involved ... especially if the sexual activity goes beyond the limits of common decency ... I imagine your child has

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Get it from a good heterosexual therapist ... keep trying different ones until your child finds one with whom he is comfortable ... unfortunately our society has lost all understanding of right and wrong and when our human sexuality, one of the best and most mysterious gifts that God has given us, it is involved, we just have no idea ... Generally, sex today is seen and used as a means by which we are destined to experience physical pleasure ...

This attitude will not bring happiness to anyone involved ... especially if the sexual activity goes beyond the limits of common decency ... I imagine your child has already masturbated ... This is the time for an enlightened parent approach the child and provide help in the form of education and understanding ... their sexuality is a unique and mysterious gift. The goal of each of us is to achieve happiness ... the misuse of the gifts that we have been given will make happiness a difficult goal, if not impossible to achieve. There is no reason for ignorance on the part of parents unless they have lost a proper education, be it through school, their own studies or from their families ...

Engaging poorly in sexual activity will result in future harm and pain and happiness will be very difficult to acquire ... at least masturbation is only causing harm, in the form of ignition, to one person ... Engaging in sexual activity with a woman will result in more confusion and ignorance and could even result in the creation of a new life. This is a wonderful experience, but it also comes with a bit of responsibility. The additional responsibility can result in a lost education or psychosocial stressors that can result in interpersonal relationship difficulties or some other types of emotional problems ... The possibility of participating in the murder of a child whose only experience as a human being living life in the earth will have been limited to a very comfortable existence,

The pleasant feel of soft fabric or nylon or silk is not unusual. Not necessarily harmful either ... You should tell your child that just because he likes the feel of soft, feminine clothing doesn't mean he should experiment with his sexual orientation. . Unfortunately our culture has no understanding of this and as a result of this negligent ignorance, the child could discover that sexual experimentation beyond masturbation is not necessarily a harmful practice ... It would be a tragic and totally unnecessary result of extreme ignorance. or simply negligent parenting if this child chose to become an active homosexual ...

Engaging in sex simply for the psycho-emotional or physical gratification that you feel is not a good thing ... No matter any religious, philosophical, or dirt and disease problem, if we abuse or abuse sexuality, happiness will turn into a almost impossible goal ... sexual gratification abusing a human being of the same sex is not really different from engaging in a sexual act with an animal or an inert way of life ... despite what our culture currently accepts, our meaning common and our reason tell us that homosexuality, bestiality, etc. surely they are not good things that we should aspire to, or of which we should be proud ... It is possible that the child's brain is 'wired'

Alcoholism was once thought to be incurable, but with a twelve-step program and the prayers and physical and emotional support of other addicts, this desire can be kept at bay, day by day, for a lifetime, so that the damage to life is reduced and even completely avoided ..

The father who was born with a brain 'wired' for the chemical thrill he received from the game and who ultimately received help, education, and the wisdom that comes from difficult struggles, would know enough to be sure his children were safe. aware of the possible presence. of a similar desire or urge and be educated on various ways and strategies designed to help you overcome the destructive urge and refrain from activity ... If you are attracted to the company and friendship of men, you should be encouraged to participate in games, group activities and sports teams ... the sense of camera that is often felt among teammates is a powerful and joyous experience ...

It is vitally important that this issue is addressed before your child becomes more confused than they already are ... it would be a tragic feeling of utter despair for any parent who is unable to guide their child through this difficult time in his life and as a result, the boy became an active homosexual….

If your child would like to wear his sister's clothes, talk to him. maybe he's secretly transgender, he just likes to wear that style etc. After talking and finding out why this is happening, accept. If he says something about being part of the LGBTQ + community but you say that it is not natural, or that it is his choice to decide his sexuality or gender, that is degrading his value and how he values ​​himself.

When you discover the reason, come up with solutions such as taking him shopping to find clothes that match his personal style, asking permission to wear his sister's clothes.

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If your child would like to wear his sister's clothes, talk to him. maybe he's secretly transgender, he just likes to wear that style etc. After talking and finding out why this is happening, accept. If he says something about being part of the LGBTQ + community but you say that it is not natural, or that it is his choice to decide his sexuality or gender, that is degrading his value and how he values ​​himself.

When you find out why, come up with solutions like taking him shopping to find clothes that match his personal style, asking permission to wear his sister's clothes (if not), and the like. .

Trust me when I say that acceptance means everything to a person who doubts their sexuality or gender. I would like to know. most people are homophobic or transphobic because the Bible or their religion has a poorly translated script that mixes up words. Most of these texts are over thousands of years old, people are bound to misinterpret something.

The most important thing you can do to help your son / daughter / child is accept no matter what they say in reaction to their clothing style.

{This is just my opinion, I do not know your lifestyle / religion and beliefs nor is it my place to assume; I am getting away from the information provided: the first answer that came up, I think the woman's name was Valerie Stevens, she has much more detailed information on this topic}

Well, now that you know he wears his sister's clothes, I think you should talk to him about it. The conversation will be awkward for both of you. However, consider these two points before having the conversation. The first point is that he likes to wear feminine clothes and it is probably sexually exciting for him to do so. That means she will probably still wear girlish clothes whether you approve of it or not. If you are harsh on him, he may resort to inappropriate behavior, such as becoming more stealthy and perhaps stealing clothes from neighbors or shoplifting. So an ab

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Well, now that you know he wears his sister's clothes, I think you should talk to him about it. The conversation will be awkward for both of you. However, consider these two points before having the conversation. The first point is that he likes to wear feminine clothes and it is probably sexually exciting for him to do so. That means she will probably still wear girlish clothes whether you approve of it or not. If you are harsh on him, he may resort to inappropriate behavior, such as becoming more stealthy and perhaps stealing clothes from neighbors or shoplifting. Therefore, an absolute ban on wearing girl's clothes can have an unwanted result.

The second point is that your child must understand that it is wrong to take and use things that belong to other people without their permission. I doubt you want to drag your daughter into this conversation, but he needed to understand that her things are not his to use.

So you want to do about it? If your daughter knows that he uses her things, and she is not too upset about it, maybe you can offer to buy her new things and give some of her old things to your son. Alternatively, you can buy him some things for him, yes, panties and bras too, and let him wear them at home. You don't have to make a big deal of this. Just put a bag on your bed and leave it there. After a few days, just ask her if she enjoyed her gift and ask her if everything looks good on her. If he's willing to talk about it, wrap him in some rules. How not to wear a bra to school. No panties on gym days. And maybe offer rewards, new panties for good grades or for doing chores.

Over time, you will build trust with him and be able to have a conversation about his feelings about gender and sexuality, but I guess he's probably just a straight boy getting turned on in girl's clothes. If so, leave it at that.

I've been wearing girl's clothes my whole life and the first thing my mom did was buy my own girl's clothes so she wouldn't take them off someone else. My mom didn't quite understand, but she saw how happy I was with the clothes and kept encouraging me to dress how I wanted. Mom emphasized the day she found diapers on my dresser. That was until I got home and she and I had a long talk about how I dress around the house. She said she wasn't angry, just worried. After the talk, he took my hand and took me too, my bed made me lie down, he said that today I'm going to dress my baby and he changed my diapers and

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I've been wearing girl's clothes my whole life and the first thing my mom did was buy my own girl's clothes so she wouldn't take them off someone else. My mom didn't quite understand, but she saw how happy I was with the clothes and kept encouraging me to dress how I wanted. Mom emphasized the day she found diapers on my dresser. That was until I got home and she and I had a long talk about how I dress around the house. She said she wasn't angry, just worried. After the talk, he took me by the hand and also led me to my bed, made me lie down, said that today I am going to dress my baby, he changed my diaper and put me in a pink dress. The dress was short and barely covered my thick diapers. From then on, every day after school, my mom would change my diaper and dress me in my cute baby clothes. When I was 17 and in the second year I started dressing full time as a girl and Mom changed my diapers. A year later I changed my name and am still wearing diapers and girl's clothes. My mom is the most understanding and helpful mom I know. Years later, I am now a transgender woman still wearing diapers - I want to thank my mom from the bottom of my heart. For allowing me to express myself even if it is not acceptable.

Sit down with your child and talk to him without his sister being present. Ask her why she likes to wear her sister's clothes and if she knows about it. Then tell him that while there is nothing wrong with wanting to wear girl's clothes, he should not wear his sister's clothes without her permission. Offer to get her some of her own things and give her space to explore her feminine side. See where that takes you. Don't pressure him, in any way, but be there to support him. If this continues, suggest that she see a therapist who works with trans youth.

Growing up, I had the support and help of my Mother and

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Sit down with your child and talk to him without his sister being present. Ask her why she likes to wear her sister's clothes and if she knows about it. Then tell him that while there is nothing wrong with wanting to wear girl's clothes, he should not wear his sister's clothes without her permission. Offer to get her some of her own things and give her space to explore her feminine side. See where that takes you. Don't pressure him, in any way, but be there to support him. If this continues, suggest that she see a therapist who works with trans youth.

Growing up, I had the support and help of my Mother and my sisters. I found out that I wanted to emulate them. They let me explore my feminine side, which ultimately led to the transition.

Kind of a strange question, knee-jerk reaction: is he wearing clothes that belong to other girls, and if not, does it sound like he unconsciously thinks he likes his sister more than he does, and maybe he's trying to look like her in hopes of that you will notice it, even love it.

Have you ever behaved like you just want daughters, and since there's nothing I can do about it, the best thing you can do is look like one?

At least transsexuality is not a crime, so if you feel more comfortable wearing girlish clothes, so be it.

You may want to see The Imitation Game, a movie about Alan Turing, one of the

Keep reading

Kind of a strange question, knee-jerk reaction: is he wearing clothes that belong to other girls, and if not, does it sound like he unconsciously thinks he likes his sister more than he does, and maybe he's trying to look like her in hopes of that you will notice it, even love it.

Have you ever behaved like you just want daughters, and since there's nothing I can do about it, the best thing you can do is look like one?

At least transsexuality is not a crime, so if you feel more comfortable wearing girlish clothes, so be it.

You may want to see The Imitation Game, a movie about Alan Turing, one of the great minds of all time, but who eventually committed suicide because he was gay, which was illegal at the time.

Or you could look

Royal Ballet All-Star Gala

Performing with Scott Joplin rags, not only is the dance and music amazing, all the performers are dressed to amaze in their colorful robes and beautifully designed outfits that disprove their sex, but there is never any doubt what sex you are watching.

Talk to him !!!!

It's your baby, your son, your son.

If YOU don't talk to him, who the hell is going to help him when he most needs your attention now?

Ask him why he prefers his sister's clothes. Ask him to talk openly with you because he LOVES YOU and wants to help you. Ask her if she would feel better talking to you if her sister were present.

Start somewhere so you don't fear your answer.

Remember this is your child! He needs to know that you love him regardless of his clothing choices.

Immerse yourself calmly…. and ask honest questions from your heart, not your fears.

Then listen

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Talk to him !!!!

It's your baby, your son, your son.

If YOU don't talk to him, who the hell is going to help him when he most needs your attention now?

Ask him why he prefers his sister's clothes. Ask him to talk openly with you because he LOVES YOU and wants to help you. Ask her if she would feel better talking to you if her sister were present.

Start somewhere so you don't fear your answer.

Remember this is your child! He needs to know that you love him regardless of his clothing choices.

Immerse yourself calmly…. and ask honest questions from your heart, not your fears.

Then listen OPENLY to their responses. Simply allowing her the freedom to speak honestly is a wonderful gift.

Even my 14-year-old son often wears his 16-year-old sister's midi skirts and her lehengas. My husband and I have no problem with our son wearing his sister's clothes.

Even our daughter has no problem with her brother wearing her clothes. I took my son shopping and bought him midi skirts and lehengas in his size.

To answer your question, let your child wear what he wants, don't stop him from wearing what he wants. Take him shopping to buy skirts in his size.

Don't laugh, scold, or tease him just because he's wearing his sister's clothes. What you are doing is completely normal.

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Even my 14-year-old son often wears his 16-year-old sister's midi skirts and her lehengas. My husband and I have no problem with our son wearing his sister's clothes.

Even our daughter has no problem with her brother wearing her clothes. I took my son shopping and bought him midi skirts and lehengas in his size.

To answer your question, let your child wear what he wants, don't stop him from wearing what he wants. Take him shopping to buy skirts in his size.

Don't laugh, scold, or tease him just because he's wearing his sister's clothes. What you are doing is completely normal. Why even my husband wears my clothes, I have no problem with that as long as it doesn't get dirty or torn. Even when I was little, my older brother used to wear my clothes all the time and our parents never objected.

Hope this helps answer your question.

The first thing is communication ... Talk to your son and find out why he wears his sister's clothes. Ask him if he's gay, transgender, or just has a cross-dressing fetish. What do you do when you wear feminine clothes? Are you pretending to be a girl? Are you using the clothes for sexual stimulation? Or does it seem perfectly normal except for the clothes?

If your child seems to be having trouble with his gender identity, you should see a gender therapist. If you simply enjoy the feel of feminine clothing, then you may consider allowing yourself to have your own feminine clothing that you can wear.

Keep reading

The first thing is communication ... Talk to your son and find out why he wears his sister's clothes. Ask him if he's gay, transgender, or just has a cross-dressing fetish. What do you do when you wear feminine clothes? Are you pretending to be a girl? Are you using the clothes for sexual stimulation? Or does it seem perfectly normal except for the clothes?

If your child seems to be having trouble with his gender identity, you should see a gender therapist. If you simply enjoy the feel of feminine clothing, then you may consider allowing yourself to have your own feminine clothing that you can wear in the safety and privacy of your home.

Initially nothing, as it can be just one phase.
If it continues, you can take him to a psychologist.
Unfortunately, globalization has brought some negative aspects, and ideology in the form of misinformation and poorly structured is one of them. Contrary to what the mainstream media tries to talk about today, there are no serious studies with scientific evidence that homosexuality is something that is within our DNA, and a child is unable to determine if he really has gender dysphoria, Please note and I do not. Don't say this out of personal opinion, this is just basic neurobiology. Yes, when the

Keep reading

Initially nothing, as it can be just one phase.
If it continues, you can take him to a psychologist.
Unfortunately, globalization has brought some negative aspects, and ideology in the form of misinformation and poorly structured is one of them. Contrary to what the mainstream media tries to talk about today, there are no serious studies with scientific evidence that homosexuality is something that is within our DNA, and a child is unable to determine if he really has gender dysphoria, Please note and I do not. Don't say this out of personal opinion, this is just basic neurobiology. If, as an adult, you choose to be gay, then we must respect that, but as the parents of this child you have the right to seek to identify patterns that are altering your child's normal gender behavior and try to correct it.
Before the haters come to attack me, keep in mind that I am not homophobic, but something of science, and I am only responding with scientific data and not my personal opinion, which is unfortunately the most common.

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