Is it okay to let my 14 year old daughter sleep in the same room as her father?

Updated on : December 7, 2021 by Jasmine Bell



Is it okay to let my 14 year old daughter sleep in the same room as her father?

We currently have six daughters between 23 and 46 years old. We also have four granddaughters and five grandchildren. To your question, assuming there is a good reason and a normal father-daughter relationship, I don't see any problem. We adopted our last three girls. The last one was 13 when we adopted her (she was from China but had been in the United States for several years with a medical VISA).

I took her with me on a mission trip to Vietnam a year after the adoption. She was 14 at the time. We stayed in the same hotel room and slept in separate beds. There were no problems for either of them. I also took my 14 year old granddaughter on a similar trip but to more than one country. We also share hotel rooms and sleep in separate beds.

I also did the same with two of my older daughters. One was in his twenties at the time and the other in his early forties. With one exception, there was nothing unusual in any of these cases. We respect the privacy of others, considering that we were sharing a room. The exception mentioned had nothing to do with sharing a room, but with my daughter in her twenties, we were flying business class and the flight attendant assumed she was my lover. We quickly cleared up that misconception right away.

I guess my answer is that it depends on the motive and the relationship. In my case, I think it was perfectly acceptable. I would feel uncomfortable sharing a bed, but if there was some unexpected reason why we had no other choice, we would have figured it out.

I hope this helps. Simply put, the father sees his daughter as his daughter, adopted or not, and vice versa, so I don't see a problem unless one of them is uncomfortable. On the other hand, if you have any reason to be concerned about the relationship, or there is no good reason to share a room, then you might have some concerns. My advice is to look at the entire relationship before jumping to conclusions. Also, why don't you sleep with the father (divorced, separated, etc.)? If you all live together and the father sleeps in the same room as his daughter and not you, that would worry me.

But, as I said in every situation, every family is different. You are in the best position to determine what is acceptable and what is not. Hope this is of some help.

In fact, I'm quite surprised by the people who answered this question by saying that all men are wild and that Dad is sure to get turned on at some point. What nonsense.

I grew up in a very loving family where we told each other that we loved each other 60 times a day with lots of hugs and precious moments. My dad and I were particularly close. He is very hairy and I used to rub my whole face on his hairy belly every morning. It was our special thing. I still do that when we visit. I'm turning 30 this year. I sleep next to him, in the same bed, under the same blanket, even SPOONING. C

Keep reading

In fact, I'm quite surprised by the people who answered this question by saying that all men are wild and that Dad is sure to get turned on at some point. What nonsense.

I grew up in a very loving family where we told each other that we loved each other 60 times a day with lots of hugs and precious moments. My dad and I were particularly close. He is very hairy and I used to rub my whole face on his hairy belly every morning. It was our special thing. I still do that when we visit. I'm turning 30 this year. I sleep next to him, in the same bed, under the same blanket, even SPOONING. Can you imagine the HORROR? There is no excitement anywhere at all. He's my dad. It has always been there for me, and still is to this day, even though we lead very separate lives in very separate countries. He still traces my face and rubs my hair. People may think she is sick, but I had a hard time breastfeeding when my daughter was born. He even helped me with that. Before you go crazy with that information, he is an experienced paramedic who sees 50 pairs of breasts a day. There was no excitement. My father never once looked at me, touched me inappropriately, or abused me in any shape or form. He is a loving father who will go for me to the ends of the earth if necessary.

I assume you are the stepmother because if you were her mother you would make it. You would know the dynamics between them. I understand that you may not get it because you are not used to it. You should applaud him for being such a loving father. It should make you fall even more in love with his soul.

Take some time and work on it. Please don't be mad at him or her. Try to compromise! Don't discuss it with any of them. You could become Public Enemy No. 1.

* EDIT * 52 Upvotes WOW !!! Thank you very much to all. I know it's not much and the people on Quora get so much more than that, but it's the most I've ever gotten. You guys are amazing!! ❤

As a father of two daughters (14 year old twins), I would NOT sleep with my daughters under the same blanket or in the same bed. However, they slept with my wife and I until they were 3 years old. They were born 15 weeks early and on 24-hour heart monitors for the first 15 months of their life. We were always very attentive to our children just to see if they were breathing. That being said, we have camped a lot since then and we have a queen size inflatable mattress and the 3 of us will sleep on it in our OWN sleeping bags (Mom rarely goes camping with us). I believe that American society is a

Keep reading

As a father of two daughters (14 year old twins), I would NOT sleep with my daughters under the same blanket or in the same bed. However, they slept with my wife and I until they were 3 years old. They were born 15 weeks early and on 24-hour heart monitors for the first 15 months of their life. We were always very attentive to our children just to see if they were breathing. That being said, we have camped a lot since then and we have a queen size inflatable mattress and the 3 of us will sleep on it in our OWN sleeping bags (Mom rarely goes camping with us). I think American society is a bit outside the norm of world society as it is not uncommon in India, China or many other countries for adolescent or adult daughters / sons to sleep with their parents / grandparents / siblings, together or individually . When I say parents I mean biological parents. Divorce is very rare in India and China. Here's a link to another question about daughters sleeping with their parents in India that may shed some light on another perspective. Is it common for even adult daughters to sleep with their parents in the same bed in India?

Yes, one of the greatest sins and atrocities in life is betraying the trust of your family through excessive and perverted acts, such as a biological mother or father sexually assaulting their children. These acts represent an extremely LOW percentage of assaults, primarily due to mental illness. Now to add to this story, non-biological parents are older # today than ever before in history! As much as you are sure that non-biological parents love their foster, adoptive, or adoptive children, they are NOT biological parents and there is a different relationship. I would NEVER suggest that non-biological parents sleep with their children after the age when it is awkward and uncomfortable. Nor would I NEVER suggest that a single parent have a living partner until the child (male or female) has moved out of the house. In my opinion, It should be Criminally Negligent for a single parent to allow a partner (boyfriend-girlfriend) to live with the children. This situation represents a 20 times greater probability of sexual assault. (not all children who play on the highway are hit, but the chances are significantly higher than if the parent restricts their play to the playgrounds)

“Children living without either parent (adoptive children) are 10 times more likely to be sexually abused than children living with both biological parents. Children who live with a single parent who has a living partner are at the highest risk: they are 20 times more likely to be victims of sexual abuse than children who live with both biological parents ”(Sedlack et al, 2010). 12 Facing the Statistics on Child Sexual Abuse

Summary: I do not support children sleeping with their parents after the age of discomfort. That age can and should be determined by parents or children without repercussions.

If you really read up to this point, please vote and leave a comment. Thanks.

It depends on the age of the girl. It seems from some of the responses that the girl is assumed to be in her teens, but it may be the person who asked the question.

It is considered unusual but not a problem. It is no different than a son sleeping with his mother. Sometimes, especially in single-parent families, this is necessary in certain circumstances. Certainly if the child is very young, let's say under 8 years old, I don't see any problem at all. There could be problems with the child's health, in my case I was epileptic until the age of 8 and if I had a seizure while I was sleeping, my mother was already there.

Keep reading

It depends on the age of the girl. It seems from some of the responses that the girl is assumed to be in her teens, but it may be the person who asked the question.

It is considered unusual but not a problem. It is no different than a son sleeping with his mother. Sometimes, especially in single-parent families, this is necessary in certain circumstances. Certainly if the child is very young, let's say under 8 years old, I don't see any problem at all. There could be problems with the child's health, in my case I was epileptic until the age of 8 and if I had a seizure while I was sleeping, my mother was already there. The same would happen with a man whose daughter had the condition.

On stage it is implied that the daughter is over 11 years old and it seems that many people have seen it from a sexual point of view. I would be very concerned if a 16 year old was sleeping with the father of the opposite sex as that starts to have more tones of incest, again, particularly if it is long term / permanent.

Then there is another question related to the accommodation itself. It may be temporary accommodation, in which case they may have to sleep in the same bed due to circumstances. In a hotel / guesthouse, you would expect there to be a room with "single beds", that is, 3 ′ single beds in the same room on opposite walls. Similarly, if they are homeless and have been placed in emergency accommodation, they may very well have to sleep in the same room, even in bed.

Despite the child's need for privacy at that age (girls, especially if they are menstruating, are more body conscious than boys), there may be no other option.

However, if this were a long-term arrangement in a private / rented home with at least two bedrooms, then mother / child would expect; Father / daughter ideally be in separate beds rooms.

Men take shit when kids are involved. I have to ask you, if you were a man and your girlfriend let her 15 year old daughter sleep with her, would you ask people on Quora?

I admit it is strange, but maybe there is something you do not know. I went through some pretty traumatic things as a kid that left me with horrible nightmares. I regularly slept in my parents' room and even in their bed long after I should have stopped. It made me feel better.

Where is your mom? Could it be that she passed away and maybe they're sharing the bed because she's dee

Keep reading

Men take shit when kids are involved. I have to ask you, if you were a man and your girlfriend let her 15 year old daughter sleep with her, would you ask people on Quora?

I admit it is strange, but maybe there is something you do not know. I went through some pretty traumatic things as a kid that left me with horrible nightmares. I regularly slept in my parents' room and even in their bed long after I should have stopped. It made me feel better.

Where is your mom? Could it be that she passed away and perhaps they are sharing the bed because she is deeply depressed? Maybe she has tried to kill herself before and he sleeps with her so she always knows someone is there for her.

Sure, he could be abusing her. But it seems like he's a pretty dumb pedophile to show you that he shares a bed with his daughter if he's actually sexually abusing her. It would be like an assassin showing you his killing gear and his next victim.

I know I would be very upset if someone I was dating told me that I can't sleep with my kids and made it look inappropriate, especially if they didn't bother to ask me why, first.

That was definitely a conversation he probably should have had 1) after I asked him why they share a bed and 2) after they were thinking of moving in together.

I know my answer makes a lot of assumptions, but so does everyone else who just says he's a pedophile.

I myself became a single father to a daughter when my daughter was 10 years old and she, like her daughter, now went through a stage where she was a bit clingy and insecure as a result of the separation between her mother and me, wanting me to be. with her in places where it was not appropriate for me to be with her, such as the bathroom and wanting her to go to the ladies with her when we were away from home because she was afraid that I would not be there when she came after her mother will walk away. What I did with my daughter in this situation and you could try yours was this, feel her and in a way

Keep reading

I myself became a single father to a daughter when my daughter was 10 years old and she, like her daughter, now went through a stage where she was a bit clingy and insecure as a result of the separation between her mother and me, wanting me to be. with her in places where it was not appropriate for me to be with her, such as the bathroom and wanting her to go to the ladies with her when we were away from home because she was afraid that I would not be there when she came after her mother will walk away. What I did with my daughter in this situation and you could try yours was this, feel her and in a way that you know that she will understand tell her that I love her and I always will, but that now she is old enough to be in the bathroom washing herself and that it would not be right for her dad to be in the bathroom with her at her age, but i wouldn't go into detail as to why this is so, then when she's ready to go to bed and dressed in her nightwear i'd sit her on the couch and have daddy and daughter hug her before taking her to bed and reading her . a bedtime story, and during the day give her more hugs and tell her you love her often. that way you will strengthen your feeling of safety and security, and you will know the fact that you are not going anywhere.

At what age should daughters not constantly sleep in the same bed as their father? My stepdaughter (almost 10 years old) sleeps in my husband's bed when she is at his house, unless I am staying there that night. We currently do not live together.

Well, considering the fact that she can sleep alone when you stay the night, this shows that she is not necessarily afraid of sleeping alone. I think that sometimes, in a divorce situation, children can get very clingy. The situation does not give me a good feeling. But I don't know how you can change this situation, since

Keep reading

At what age should daughters not constantly sleep in the same bed as their father? My stepdaughter (almost 10 years old) sleeps in my husband's bed when she is at his house, unless I am staying there that night. We currently do not live together.

Well, considering the fact that she can sleep alone when you stay the night, this shows that she is not necessarily afraid of sleeping alone. I think that sometimes, in a divorce situation, children can get very clingy. The situation does not give me a good feeling. But I don't know how you can change this situation, since you are not living with this man. I think it might even be a red flag for me.

Your stepdaughter is nearing puberty. Some girls start menstruating when they are 10 years old. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if you were sharing a bed with your father when this happens? They should both have privacy. But somehow I doubt that anything you can say will change your partner's opinion.

I just reread your question and realized that this man is your husband. Well, for whatever reason, you're not living with him, so I guess you don't have as much to say about it as you would if you were married and living together.

It is not right for a father to abuse his daughter. It's not okay for anyone to bother anyone, period.

But two family members sleeping in the same bed, because there is no other available, and there is no extra set of sheets or whatever for one of them to sleep on the floor? People get by sometimes.

However, he would not plan for father and daughter to sleep in the same bed. Both of you are likely to be uncomfortable, not sleeping well, and not really enjoying your vacation. If you cannot reserve a room with two beds, you may be able to bring a sleeping pad, a sleeping bag, and an extra pillow. Father and

Keep reading

It is not right for a father to abuse his daughter. It's not okay for anyone to bother anyone, period.

But two family members sleeping in the same bed, because there is no other available, and there is no extra set of sheets or whatever for one of them to sleep on the floor? People get by sometimes.

However, he would not plan for father and daughter to sleep in the same bed. Both of you are likely to be uncomfortable, not sleeping well, and not really enjoying your vacation. If you cannot reserve a room with two beds, you may be able to bring a sleeping pad, a sleeping bag, and an extra pillow. Father and daughter can take turns in bed and sleeping bag.

If you are a woman, I suppose that's fine, but if you are a man, definitely not. It would not be socially acceptable and could lead to all kinds of problems and accusations. My stepdaughter is the love of my life, I raised her since she was 6 months old, I treat her like any of my other children and in the same way that I do not want my natural daughter to sleep in my bed with me at 14 nor I my stepdaughter . I think it's totally inappropriate and to be honest if children's services found out it would be hell to pay. All kinds of investigations, accusations and questions. Not really worth it

Keep reading

If you are a woman, I suppose that's fine, but if you are a man, definitely not. It would not be socially acceptable and could lead to all kinds of problems and accusations. My stepdaughter is the love of my life, I raised her since she was 6 months old, I treat her like any of my other children and in the same way that I do not want my natural daughter to sleep in my bed with me at 14 nor I my stepdaughter . I think it's totally inappropriate and to be honest if children's services found out it would be hell to pay. All kinds of investigations, accusations and questions. It's not really worth the hassle or the fight.

Just to clarify this, my stepdaughter had a little accident when she was three years old, which sometimes gave her nightmares, so her mother and I, mainly me, would take her to bed and sleep with her until she was going to leave. to sleep. age 8 years. However, social services were mentioned and they told us that this was unacceptable to them, so after long talks and explanations we had to stop him. So you can imagine if they didn't like what we were doing with our 8 year old daughter, how they would have reacted if she had slept with me in my bed at 14.

This has practically been answered for a 9 year old daughter. I would say only until he falls asleep. Is it a matter of not having space for her when you visit her or do you live with her? I would probably get a double air mattress to put in your room. Anyway, they love that kind of thing. Then there is the option of getting a bunk with a double on the bottom and a single on the top. My grandson comes to visit on the weekends and he and I slept on this fold out sofa until he was 8 years old and I had bought a set of bunk beds. Even a trundle bed that can slide under her bed when she's not there. I don't know exactly what

Keep reading

This has practically been answered for a 9 year old daughter. I would say only until he falls asleep. Is it a matter of not having space for her when you visit her or do you live with her? I would probably get a double air mattress to put in your room. Anyway, they love that kind of thing. Then there is the option of getting a bunk with a double on the bottom and a single on the top. My grandson comes to visit on the weekends and he and I slept on this fold out sofa until he was 8 years old and I had bought a set of bunk beds. Even a trundle bed that can slide under her bed when she's not there. I don't know exactly what your situation is, but you have many options. Just always wear pajama shorts or something if she's in your bed.

One could, but shouldn't, because that is incest. Incest is against nature, but also against the law in most (if not all) states and in most countries.

Other Guides:


GET SPECIAL OFFER FROM OUR PARTNER.