I feel like a loser, all my friends are ahead of me in all aspects (academic, co-curricular, relationships, etc). I feel jealous. What should I do?

Updated on : December 3, 2021 by George John



I feel like a loser, all my friends are ahead of me in all aspects (academic, co-curricular, relationships, etc). I feel jealous. What should I do?

Thanks for the A2A ...

First, change the way you think. Instead of complaining about your life, accept it. Now think about what you are good at and start working on it. Have a dream and make it kill you from within.

If you think of something, try it without much thought. Work hard and smart. Do something productive every day and make self-improvement your main goal.

If you've failed in the past, don't get depressed thinking about it. Learn from it and defend. And during this time, stop comparing yourself to others. You are your biggest competitor and your biggest critic.

If someone

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Thanks for the A2A ...

First, change the way you think. Instead of complaining about your life, accept it. Now think about what you are good at and start working on it. Have a dream and make it kill you from within.

If you think of something, try it without much thought. Work hard and smart. Do something productive every day and make self-improvement your main goal.

If you've failed in the past, don't get depressed thinking about it. Learn from it and defend. And during this time, stop comparing yourself to others. You are your biggest competitor and your biggest critic.

If someone tells you that you can't do something, don't give a damn what they say. Don't think about the results, keep working.

Don't be jealous if your friend has something. It will destroy you. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, as I just said. And try to become the best version of yourself.

You will become a loser if you think you are. Defeat is not declared when we fall, it is when we refuse to get up. So get up and get started. It will be difficult at first, but once you try you can do it. Believe in yourself. You own this life of yours, so make the best use of it.

Deal with life or death. Do not give up. Stop having the victim mentality and be a warrior. If you want a change in life, first be the change you are looking for. I hope this helps. Good luck!

First of all, stop comparing yourself to others. Each one is unique in its own ways. You have to discover your strengths and build your life around that and to do that you have to explore yourself. Go after your interests and analyze your strengths and weaknesses.

There will be one or two things that you will be extremely good at, you have to identify those one or two things and you must use them to achieve success.

Try to form some good positive habits in your life, like getting up early, exercising, reading books, these will boost your confidence and you won't feel like

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First of all, stop comparing yourself to others. Each one is unique in its own ways. You have to discover your strengths and build your life around that and to do that you have to explore yourself. Go after your interests and analyze your strengths and weaknesses.

There will be one or two things that you will be extremely good at, you have to identify those one or two things and you must use them to achieve success.

Try to form some good positive habits in your life like getting up early, exercising, reading books, these will boost your confidence and you won't feel like a loser. After that, develop some skills in your area. There are skills to develop in all areas, including building relationships. If you develop them, you will automatically become good at what you want to improve.

Approach your life as an incomplete work of art, pay attention and take steps to constantly improve in every area of ​​life by taking small steps. Accomplish small things at first and then you can go for the big ones.

ALL THE BEST

Hi, friend,

Let me tell you one thing. Humans don't have the same talent. For example, let's look at my case. I don't know how to speak well, but my best friend speaks very well. I can't speak well, but my other best friend is very talkative. I am not good at sports or the arts. I have been jealous of all my friends for their talents. I used to feel that reason why I don't have those talents. It is human nature and nothing else. But I am definitely unique. Until now, I don't know how unique I am. Surely one day you will definitely feel unique.

What you should do to feel better is

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Hi, friend,

Let me tell you one thing. Humans don't have the same talent. For example, let's look at my case. I don't know how to speak well, but my best friend speaks very well. I can't speak well, but my other best friend is very talkative. I am not good at sports or the arts. I have been jealous of all my friends for their talents. I used to feel that reason why I don't have those talents. It is human nature and nothing else. But I am definitely unique. Until now, I don't know how unique I am. Surely one day you will definitely feel unique.

What you need to do to feel better is BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. You may not be a good dancer, a good singer, a great writer ... but you can definitely be a Good Human Being. Pray to GOD for all that he has given you and your friends. Appreciate your friends, believe in yourself and above all give 100% for all the things you do.

Above all,

Fall in love with yourself!

You should try to fix what happens to you ...
And there is something VERY VERY very serious with you, I can tell by reading your question. What happens to you is so deep inside you that you cannot see it. Let me help you identify it.
.
You are jealous of your friends, and that jealousy is the manifestation of what happens to you. Try to identify the problem with this suggestion. I can't say exactly what the problem is, I could give you a hint.

I will respond anonymously in case someone reading this knows me and finds out who I am talking about.

So why does everyone seem so successful but you can't get traction ......

Probably because you are believing his performances on Facebook and Instagram. I know a guy who, if you look at his Facebook profile, he could be the blueprint for a happy and successful life. Not monstrously successful by any means, but a person living a happy upper-middle-class life - good job, wife, kids, happy family, nice things, etc.

In real life it's a different story

  • massive debt he hid from
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I will respond anonymously in case someone reading this knows me and finds out who I am talking about.

So why does everyone seem so successful but you can't get traction ......

Probably because you are believing his performances on Facebook and Instagram. I know a guy who, if you look at his Facebook profile, he could be the blueprint for a happy and successful life. Not monstrously successful by any means, but a person living a happy upper-middle-class life - good job, wife, kids, happy family, nice things, etc.

In real life it's a different story

  • The huge debt he hid from his wife caused them to lose their home a few years ago, on which they had been paying a mortgage for about 20 years. He left with nothing.
  • He drives a stylish Dodge Charger that he bought shortly after losing the house. His credit was so bad that he financed about 25% apr, but he wanted the loan so he could establish a payment history to rebuild his credit.
  • his wife fired him a few months ago largely due to more lies and a refusal to address a drinking problem that has persisted for as long as I can remember
  • He now lives with his father (a retired police officer and police educator) in the house where he grew up. Between the two of them they have so little money that they cannot afford to repair the roof and they do not put up tarps to protect the house because then the neighbors will know that they cannot afford the repair. The tiles are literally falling off the roof.

On social media, however, everything is smiles and sunshine.

My wife does too. It's not as bad as my friend above, but it still bothers me. The best example is from a couple of months ago when she had been on a camping trip with the kids and her extended family (I don't do that shit anymore). They were gone for five or six days and when they got home the kids got in and my wife sat in the car for almost an hour. When she finally arrived, she was visibly shaken and wanted nothing to do with the children because they had been making her nervous during the drive home and the weekend had generally not gone so well with her family.

It turns out that while she was fuming and sitting in her car just to get a break from the kids she wanted to murder and the generally stressful journey, she was, at that very moment, composing a Facebook post about how blessed and magical her time was. far it was. All smiles and sunshine.

When it comes to social media, it's all about performance.

No, you will NEVER be successful this way, because you are comparing yourself to others using an unbalanced scale.


Incident 1:

Friend 1: Prashant please have some sweets I bought AIR 24 at IES 2017.

Me: Congratulations bro.

Friend 1: what are you doing now.

Me: Still in my second year of research.

Friend 1: Well, good luck with that.


Incident 2

Friend 2: Prashant have some sweets, I have been offered a postdoc position at Cambridge University

Me: Congratulations brother

Friend 2: How is your work going?

Me: Well, it's going well.


Incident 3

Friend 3: Prashant, have some sweets that my diary selected.

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No, you will NEVER be successful this way, because you are comparing yourself to others using an unbalanced scale.


Incident 1:

Friend 1: Prashant please have some sweets I bought AIR 24 at IES 2017.

Me: Congratulations bro.

Friend 1: what are you doing now.

Me: Still in my second year of research.

Friend 1: Well, good luck with that.


Incident 2

Friend 2: Prashant have some sweets, I have been offered a postdoc position at Cambridge University

Me: Congratulations brother

Friend 2: How is your work going?

Me: Well, it's going well.


Incident 3

Friend 3: Prashant, take some candy that my journal article selected for publication in an SCI indexed journal

Me: Congratulations brother

Friend 3: When will your research paper be published?

Me: ahh, maybe another year for that.


Incident 4:

Another friend's father: Prashant, I am throwing a promotion party for my son, please come and celebrate with us tomorrow.

Me: Congratulations man. Yeah sure man. I'll be there.

Father of a friend: bdw, how is your work going?

Me: Still studying man.


Incident 5:

Another friend's mother: Prashant, we are reopening our store in our children's marriage, please come to the housewarming party.

Me: Sure, I'll be there auntie.

Mother of Friends: By the way, when will you marry Prashant?

I; not until I have my Ph.D. aunt.


Does that mean I'm not succeeding and everyone else is succeeding? I do not believe it.

In many track races, including our lives, competitors will not line up at a single starting mark. Instead, riders start in their own lane at different positions on the track. This creates a tiered look for runners. The goal is to ensure that each runner covers the same distance rather than forcing outside runners to travel further to reach the finish line.

“I am on my way and I am sure that I will have my chances of success” Because; We all have our dreams and each dream takes a certain amount of time and effort to take shape.

That HEI guy, he quit his lucrative IT job 3 years ago to prepare for HEI

That Cambridge guy skipped all the celebrations, festivals, and birthday parties to work on a research proposal for his Post Doc.

That researcher, whose article was selected in Tier 1 magazine; got his first rejection a year ago. Since then, he worked day after day to publish his first article.

That Father of Friends, who is celebrating the promotion of his son, will be retiring in 2 years.

That Mother of Friends, who is happy to see her son get married, has been waiting for 3 years to see her son get married.


We are all so interested in ourselves that we do not realize that everyone, including us, is struggling in their life. If you ask me how much I have failed in the last 2 years of my life;

  • I did not manage to get 2 international scholarships
    • so i requested the third
  • I was unable to convince two US delegates to hand over some research materials for free.
    • I convinced the third delegate (Japanese)
  • I failed my start of public speaking
    • Now I plan a manufacturing start-up
  • 3 girls rejected me to marry because of their personal and professional commitments
    • Now I look forward to the fourth

Every time you think you have reached a peak in your life, there will be someone who reached it before you and that will be "you."

Think about it


I love you all

I've been through my entire life and I envy people who have natural talents and can get to where they want to be in life. Should I feel this way?

Some people naturally have what it takes to go to college and study to become a doctor. I envy people who are like that because I am so used to people looking down on me and underestimating me, even my family, sometimes. I feel like there is no point in pursuing my dreams if I don't have anyone.

There is no "should" about feelings; they simply are. I also found little support in my own family, except my mother, who often took care of a child.

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I've been through my entire life and I envy people who have natural talents and can get to where they want to be in life. Should I feel this way?

Some people naturally have what it takes to go to college and study to become a doctor. I envy people who are like that because I am so used to people looking down on me and underestimating me, even my family, sometimes. I feel like there is no point in pursuing my dreams if I don't have anyone.

There is no "should" about feelings; they simply are. I also found little support in my own family, except from my mother, who was often caring for a baby in her 40s to 50s. And I didn't have what it takes to be successful in college until I went to the counseling center for counseling and was told that what I needed was to learn how to budget my time. I never had to do it before, because at least I passed everything just by showing up to class.

Later in my life, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) was very helpful to me in this regard. I have things that used to terrify me and now just make me a little nervous. The simple statement is this: you do not directly attack what you fear or what causes you shame. Those thoughts and feelings are deeply ingrained and resist an all-out assault. But you may come across ideas that would tend to suggest that you might be thinking wrongly about what makes you feel bad. In this way, CBT undermines those activities or attributes that cause fear. Here is an analogy that I find helpful:

  • It's hard to knock down a building with your fingernails, but you can definitely grab the garden hose and start flushing out the dirt under the middle of the foundation.
  • It will take a while, but eventually the building will start to collapse if there is nothing to support the foundation.
  • At first, the building will only collapse towards the middle and show cracks in the walls inside and out.
  • Then you start working with the hose at the base in the corners, and the part that doesn't slope towards the center eventually begins to slope outward.
  • Over time the building loses much of its unsupported structural integrity and it becomes apparent to you that it is unsupported and left behind.
  • This is how it worked for many of my fears. It wasn't quick, but if it had never started, I would never have made any changes. You can't get anywhere from anywhere except right where you are at the moment.

At least you have dreams! I don't think I had any before I started preparing to go back to college. Dreams come true. Just put your feet on the road and do what you can.

I found this blog post that spoke to me: Thoughts or Feelings? What comes first? - The applied neuroscience blog

I'll end with a quote that I like from Hamlet.

“So, it is nothing to you, because there is nothing good or bad, but thinking makes it that way. For me (Denmark) is a prison. (Well then) it's not one for you, as nothing is really good or bad in itself, it's all a person thinks about it. And for me, Denmark is a prison. "Act 2, Scene 2, Page 11

Upgrade the next day: also, remember; you haven't been through your whole life yet. There are miles to go and many wonders to see.

Oh my God! Don't say you are a loser. We all go through times in our lives when we don't feel good about ourselves. I know I did. My God, you are only 20 years old and you have your whole life ahead of you and you can do and be whatever you want to be. Just stop saying bad things about yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people. I used to do the same! It took me many years to start loving myself too. Anytime you start to think negatively about yourself, just say STOP! You are worth much more than you can imagine. You are special and unique and

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Oh my God! Don't say you are a loser. We all go through times in our lives when we don't feel good about ourselves. I know I did. My God, you are only 20 years old and you have your whole life ahead of you and you can do and be whatever you want to be. Just stop saying bad things about yourself and stop comparing yourself to other people. I used to do the same! It took me many years to start loving myself too. Anytime you start to think negatively about yourself, just say STOP! You are worth much more than you can imagine. You are special and unique and I am sure you have a lot to offer the world. Unfortunately right now you can't see it. You need to look deep inside yourself and realize that you are okay and have a lot to give. Try some mirror work. This might help you a bit. It may sound strange to you too, but it works! Look in the mirror focusing on your eyes. Tell yourself that you are worthy, good person, intelligent, etc. Do this every day until you start to believe it. Sometimes I still have a hard time doing it. Sometimes I just stand there and tell myself that none of this is true. But for the most part I feel good. It was very strange when I started doing it, but over time it became easier and much more believable. Also be kind to yourself. Stop punishing yourself. You are a human being and you are bound to make mistakes and bad decisions in life. Again, you are only 20 years old and you have the rest of your life to positively impact your life and the lives of others. Oh, one last tip. Youtube has tons and tons of really good videos to watch and help you feel better. Sometimes it is as easy as changing your thoughts about yourself. When negative thoughts come, let them pass and disappear. Once you understand the nonsense, tell yourself another story. Swap negative thoughts for positive ones. This will take time and patience. Also, when you get discouraged about doing something you are unhappy with, tell yourself that it is okay and that you are learning and choosing again. It is never too late to start a new life. heck, I'm almost 54 years old and I'm in another new chapter. I wish you the best! Also, when you get discouraged about doing something you are unhappy with, tell yourself that it is okay and that you are learning and choosing again. It is never too late to start a new life. heck, I'm almost 54 years old and I'm in another new chapter. I wish you the best! Also, when you get discouraged about doing something you are unhappy with, tell yourself that it is okay and that you are learning and choosing again. It is never too late to start a new life. heck, I'm almost 54 years old and I'm in another new chapter. I wish you the best!

Hey! Stay there.

Yes, right there.

hold on.

Take a deep breath. Inhale. Expect. Exhale. Expect. Inhale. Expect. Exhale.

Listen to me. Let me tell you an example.

A girl is heavy 24 * 7 for 9 months. Without a rest. With a lot of hormonal imbalance. Just to create a life.

Your mother used to carry you in her womb. She carried you for 9 months. You ate a healthier diet just to provide you with nutrients. She went into labor. He screamed so loud in the delivery room. All of this, she did, for you.

A husband worked overtime to earn enough money for his wife. He worked even harder when

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Hey! Stay there.

Yes, right there.

hold on.

Take a deep breath. Inhale. Expect. Exhale. Expect. Inhale. Expect. Exhale.

Listen to me. Let me tell you an example.

A girl is heavy 24 * 7 for 9 months. Without a rest. With a lot of hormonal imbalance. Just to create a life.

Your mother used to carry you in her womb. She carried you for 9 months. You ate a healthier diet just to provide you with nutrients. She went into labor. He screamed so loud in the delivery room. All of this, she did, for you.

A husband worked overtime to earn enough money for his wife. It worked even harder when you were born. He saved money from his own expenses to provide him with sufficient resources.

It doesn't matter if your parents are alive or dead. Did they make all the sacrifices to see you give up on life?

Try to put yourself in your parent's shoes and imagine, how would you feel if your child gave up on life?

It feels depressing, right?

May I suggest a little tip?

Just hold on.

Just close your eyes and inhale. And exhale. Breath deeply.

Keep calm.

Let this time fly by

Oh I remember a beautiful date

"Remember, this too will pass."

Well, try this. It has worked 100% times. This is guaranteed.


Just one last dialogue from the movie Batman Begins (2005),

"Why are we falling, Bruce?

So we can learn to get up again. "


In case we got lost

Hi, I'm Dipanshu Rawal :)

Image Source: Google Images

I am sure that I am the right person to answer this question. I also had a similar thought process until I got to college. I thought something was missing.

Reason for such thoughts: I thought I was missing something because I had high expectations of myself and was not doing anything. And that's why I started to think this way.

  1. I wanted to be a computer programmer, but I wasn't doing any programming and was busy preparing for JEE Advanced.
  2. I didn't take any formal education in my discharge year and I was so isolated from people my age. I felt so disconnected and it made me feel depressed and scared all the time.
  3. I was not there
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I am sure that I am the right person to answer this question. I also had a similar thought process until I got to college. I thought something was missing.

Reason for such thoughts: I thought I was missing something because I had high expectations of myself and was not doing anything. And that's why I started to think this way.

  1. I wanted to be a computer programmer, but I wasn't doing any programming and was busy preparing for JEE Advanced.
  2. I didn't take any formal education in my discharge year and I was so isolated from people my age. I felt so disconnected and it made me feel depressed and scared all the time.
  3. Nunca fui bueno en los estudios hasta la universidad. Casi en todas las clases me quedé en último lugar. Yo tampoco era tan regular en los deportes. Y todo esto me hizo sentir que no valgo nada.
  4. While I hardly managed to talk to 5–6 people in my school my best friend was being a topper that time and had so many friends.

How to overcome : The life is not so hard until you make it so. Live life, Do hard work and manage things well. If you think you can’t manage, Just stop doing useless work, Have some priorities. Not every task is equally important. The time I started to feel better was the time I came to college.

Initially it was not so smooth in the college. I didn’t know anyone here. I was from boys school and it’s really hard to maintain your image when you have someone of opposite sex , staring at you while you are the one who is speaking in your English class(Given that you have studied from a Vidya Mandir and have bunked grammer classes the most). Things I started to do in my college that boosted me up

  1. I started studying smartly. I topped first internals. Those exams were not for competition but no one was serious for those except me and a few others. That changed my image and boosted me up for studying.
  2. Later in the first semester only, I bought a laptop and started to code. I started to learn C language and thought being good at C will land me a job. I solved a few questions but felt it is so boring. That time one of my senior(He was the best at coding in college that time) asked me to make a tic tac toe game. I made it in 3 days. He had already given this to some others but no one ever did that. It boosted my confidence.
  3. I answered most of the questions my teachers asked me in the class. Yes, the students hated me for that, but I felt even more confident doing that.
  4. I sit in the class with full concentration and I need not study the topics I have once read in the class(this saves a lot of time) and I just have to revise at the time of exam. So I do not study the whole semester and utilises the free time coding or learning other things.
  5. I focuses on my main work but uses some time to do other things also. For example while coding others try to write code fast and do not worry about their typing speed. I took some time out from coding and started to learn typing by doing some practice. And now whenever I write the code I feel awesome as my typing speed boosts my confidence.
  6. I manged to get a paid internship in my second year only. This made me confident.

These answers might be somewhat specific to me, But I’ve managed to come out of this thinking and now I believe I am confident enough to face difficulties of life. Believe in yourself and stop comparing yourself from others because my actions above might be specific to solving my problems but THOSE ACTIONS WERE TAKEN BY ME WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT OTHERS OPINIONS AND WITHOUT COMPARING MYSELF WITH OTHERS.

Problem doesn't lie in you being failed in something. Problem is comparing your failure with others success. Remember that nothing is permanent in life. Neither success, nor failure. That's why people always suggest you to be adaptable, because things change and you should too. Let me explain it to you with my own experience.

(Little background) I had never been a brilliant student. I always managed to get a score of 60-65%, while my cousin, who was studying in the same class, was among the best scores. It never bothered me and I kept doing my bit. And fortunately, for 10 std I became exc

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El problema no radica en que te hayan fallado en algo. El problema es comparar su fracaso con el éxito de otros. Recuerda que nada es permanente en la vida. Ni éxito ni fracaso. Por eso la gente siempre sugiere que seas adaptable, porque las cosas cambian y tú también deberías. Déjame explicártelo con mi propia experiencia.

(Little background) I had never been a bright student. I always managed to score 60-65 % whereas my cousin, who was studying in the same class, was among the top scorers. It never bothered to me and I just kept doing my bit. And fortunately, by 10 std I got transformed excellently and score 87% . My parents decided to put me in engineering field. I managed to get a decent score and admission to one of the best institutes in Maharashtra.

This is where everything went horribly wrong. I killed my creativity in art running behind something I was never interested in. I started seeing classmates and friends doing amazingly well and I sucked at the same time. The fear of ending up nowhere killed me each day. This is when my worst nightmares came true. My boyfriend started ignoring me. He was amazing at coding and got placed in one of the best campus companies and rest of the group got placed at good companies except me. They planned for movies, outing when I was failing out from aptitude rounds of multiple companies. Then some how I made it to one company but 100s of students made it so it was no big deal. After that I prepared for many upcoming ones but failed each time. I failed to get internship when almost everyone in my group had one.

When everyone went for internship and he broke up with me I went through months of depression because for me, I failed personally and professionally. Then I started concentrating on finding a job again. But failed everytime. Two weeks ago I got rejected from another interview which almost went well until I ruined it by being honest at my part.

I failed, each time I tried to rise I failed. My friends are killing it with success right now. But does this sounds right? Comparing our lives to people who mean to us in some or other way? Initialising more fears by looking at them and cursing ourselves for not being like them and ruining our uniqueness?

Embrace yourself for every good and bad in you. Your failures are going to be the best stories you are ever going to share with this world. And inspire thousands of souls out there. So fail, cry upon it to let it go for once, and start afresh. Nobody is ever going to help you out with your failures until you do. Successful people don't maintain relations with people who have failed. This is taught to me by the person who meant to me the most. So stop thinking about failure and start thinking about overcoming them. Stop thinking about people around you getting successful and start thinking about how to get yourself on the path of excellence. You cannot fail until you give up.

Así que déjate derribar, solo para subir más alto que nunca. Deje que sus fracasos le sonrían cuando mire hacia atrás. Y les sonríes, expresando tu gratitud por hacerte más fuerte de lo que alguna vez sentiste que eras.

Esta es la historia de dos chicos. Ricky y Antony. Ambos se graduaron de la misma universidad.

Ricky consiguió un trabajo pagando $ 80000, Antony no pudo encontrar nada.

Ricky consiguió las chicas, Antony era célibe.

Ricky iba a fiestas todos los días, Antony estaba perdiendo los 20

Ricky fue ascendido, Antony era mesero.

Ricky invirtió en acciones, Antony apenas ganaba lo suficiente para invertir

Ricky perdió todo en acciones, Antony encontró el amor de su vida

Ricky fue abandonado por todas las chicas, Antony se casó.

Ricky estaba arruinado, Antony construyó una casa.

Ricky no tenía sexo, Antony hacía el amor a diario.

Ricky desperately wanted to marry, Antony would soon be bec

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This is the story of two boys. Ricky and Antony. They both graduated from the same university.

Ricky got a job paying $ 80,000, Antony couldn't find anything.

Ricky got the girls, Antony was celibate.

Ricky went to parties every day, Antony was losing his 20s

Ricky was promoted, Antony was a waiter.

Ricky invested in stocks, Antony barely made enough to invest

Ricky lost everything in stocks, Antony found the love of his life

Ricky was dumped by all the girls, Antony got married.

Ricky was broke, Antony built a house.

Ricky didn't have sex, Antony made love every day.

Ricky desperately wanted to marry, Antony was soon to become a father.

Ricky resorted to drugs, Antony resorted to his children.

Ricky lost everything, Antony found everything.


I hope you understand. Everyone fails in life. Not just at the same time or in the same things. This is your turn. Don't give up. Fight hard. Because success tastes much sweeter after failure.

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