How do you know when it is time to leave your current company that pays you on average and wanting to move on, but you do not want to leave your co-workers who are close to you?

Updated on : January 21, 2022 by Ollie Byrne



How do you know when it is time to leave your current company that pays you on average and wanting to move on, but you do not want to leave your co-workers who are close to you?

A very wise man once told me, "Your co-workers are not your friends." I thought I was being too harsh. But you are right. With few exceptions, co-workers become close only while they are co-workers. There is nothing that sustains a lasting friendship.

If you want to go ahead for more money or a more challenging job, go for it. Stay in touch with former co-workers that you like or might be hired to be co-workers at your new job.

People who help people get a better job with better pay can become good friends.

Remember that labor relations in the fog are transitory. You can make a few friends at every job you keep in touch with. Otherwise, it's easier than ever with social media to keep up with old acquaintances. You need to move on with your life.

In most cases, I would recommend that you say nothing and gracefully walk out the door. However, once upon a time I was presented with the opportunity to speak up and make life MUCH better for the friends and co-workers I was leaving behind. Looking back, I can honestly say that I would do it again without hesitation.

I worked for a large corporation with a head office in a northeastern state and satellite offices across the country. The company was primarily an engineering company, but it also had a smaller division that provided various non-engineering consulting services. I worked in an office on the southeast coast or

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In most cases, I would recommend that you say nothing and gracefully walk out the door. However, once upon a time I was presented with the opportunity to speak up and make life MUCH better for the friends and co-workers I was leaving behind. Looking back, I can honestly say that I would do it again without hesitation.

I worked for a large corporation with a head office in a northeastern state and satellite offices across the country. The company was primarily an engineering company, but it also had a smaller division that provided various non-engineering consulting services. I worked in an office on the southeastern coast of the USA and held a mid-level management position in the consulting industry. We share a large office with the engineers but at opposite ends of the building. Although owned by the same umbrella company, the two entities operated independently. I responded directly to the on-site consulting manager. Very soon after I started working at this company, I realized that the person I responded to was probably bipolar. He was brilliant and did a great job, but about twice a week he would throw a huge tantrum and humiliate at least one person in front of his coworkers for not performing a task exactly as he would have done it himself. Not because of a customer complaint or because the work was not correct or of quality, but because it was not how he would have done it. There were about 20 project managers, and the tantrum was always the result of a random "check." Everyone in the office was highly educated and able to produce their own work by whatever method they deemed appropriate for the client. Unless the customer complained, everything was fine. Each of us had projects that we managed for months or sometimes years and part of the job was building and nurturing the customer relationship. Everyone was walking on tiptoe for fear that it would be the turn of the public flogging that day. We all cheer, sympathize, and support each other in the break room, at lunch, or after work drinks.

My office was next to the back door of the parking lot and a grassy area with a shady tree where the employees went to rest and smoke. I myself went out there a couple of times a day and sometimes escaped after my own public flogging. The guys on the engineering side of the building used this area as well and stopped by my office to exit through the back door. On several occasions, a very nice, soft-spoken man would sit on the bench when he went out for a break. We chatted about trivia but a couple of times he said something like "boy, that guy is really mad most of the time", referring to my boss. I did not elaborate but said yes, it was a very tense work environment and we all lived in fear of being the next victim.

It was during this time that I decided to move to Texas, where I had grown up. I also decided to leave the corporate "machine" and find another way to earn a living. One day I shared this with the man I had visited periodically on the back bench. I explained to them that my co-workers knew that I was planning to give my purchase notice that I hadn't had the courage to tell my boss. The man said he was sorry to hear that. He also said that it was a shame to keep losing good employees due to the work atmosphere created by one person (hinting my boss, but not saying this openly). He said please make sure you say goodbye to me before I go.

About a week later I went in to give my notice. My boss immediately screamed and said, "You can't quit because I'm firing you !!" I had anticipated that this might be his response and had given his assistant a copy of my resignation letter when I was going to resign. I also told the assistant why I was doing it and asked if I could count on her as my witness that I resigned and was NOT fired in case the circumstances were questioned. She agreed without hesitation. The end of the meeting with my boss was that he told me to go ahead and leave, that he didn't need to resolve my two-week notice. I cleaned my office and left.

Later that day my cell phone rang and I was the senior vice president of the large parent company who was in charge of the consulting firm. He called to tell me that he found out what had happened when I came in to resign and how sorry he was. He also said that if I needed a recommendation, I would give it in person, but in the meantime, if I wanted to file for unemployment, the company would be happy to approve my request for payments. He also asked if I would provide him with a detailed exit questionnaire and send it to him directly. I didn't hold back in my narration of what had happened during my employment there ……… .and it felt BIG.

It turned out that the bank man was one step below the president of the entire parent company and had only seen him when he occasionally visited our office. He had been quietly observing the situation in our division and had been waiting for the opportunity to intervene. I had told the woman who had called me at home about her conversations with me. It turned out that they had known for a long time that our office boss was a problem, but because he did a good job and because there hadn't been a situation where they could warrant an investigation into his management skills, they hadn't felt they could. . involve. When I resigned, it presented the opportunity they had been waiting for. For the next few weeks, they interviewed almost everyone in our office privately and assured them that there would be no negative repercussions on their honesty. Apparently the evidence was overwhelming and they had no trouble building a case to fire the boss from hell. A well-loved person in the office was promoted to the position of boss and the place became a great place to work. They asked me to go back to work there, but I explained that although I was enormously grateful for the offer, I wanted to go home to Texas and have a new chapter in my life. A well-loved person in the office was promoted to the position of boss and the place became a great place to work. They asked me to go back to work there, but I explained that although I was enormously grateful for the offer, I wanted to go home to Texas and have a new chapter in my life. A well-loved person in the office was promoted to the position of boss and the place became a great place to work. They asked me to go back to work there, but I explained that although I was enormously grateful for the offer, I wanted to go home to Texas and have a new chapter in my life.

About six months later, I received a garbled voicemail from the former boss who had been fired. He sounded drunk or high and basically yelled and yelled about how his job had "cost" him. He actually asked me to call him !! Of course not. I heard that before the company fired him, he had been offered the opportunity to be demoted and attend some management training classes to help him understand why he had been fired. He threw a tantrum and left. About two years later, a former co-worker told me that she heard that the boy's wife had left him and that the main problem was that he had been diagnosed with bipolar but refused to try to control it.

There are generally three things to evaluate:

  1. Is it growing rapidly and is the company helping to promote its growth?
  2. Do you enjoy working with your colleagues and are you learning from them?
  3. Are you being compensated fairly?

If you can only answer "yes" to zero or one of those questions, you should definitely go. If you answer "yes" at three, you should definitely stay.

The real question is whether you answer "yes" to two of the three questions. In that case, my advice is to work within the company to try to make that third question yes.

If it is not growing fast enough, maybe there is a

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There are generally three things to evaluate:

  1. Is it growing rapidly and is the company helping to promote its growth?
  2. Do you enjoy working with your colleagues and are you learning from them?
  3. Are you being compensated fairly?

If you can only answer "yes" to zero or one of those questions, you should definitely go. If you answer "yes" at three, you should definitely stay.

The real question is whether you answer "yes" to two of the three questions. In that case, my advice is to work within the company to try to make that third question yes.

If you are not growing fast enough, there may be an opportunity to transfer to a new role or take on more responsibilities. You probably want to increase your failure rate.

If you do not receive fair compensation, assume the company has your best interest and work with them to find a fairer path to compensation. You may not be successful in finding a solution, but it is definitely worth the effort and time given that you are growing and you like your colleagues. And it might be a smart calculation to temporarily accept less compensation to maximize learning (for example, going to college generally means significantly reducing your earnings in exchange for knowledge and growth).

If you don't like your coworkers ... well, you may want to leave the company at that point. That seems too difficult to fix unless there is a way to transfer to a new division that has different people.

With larger and larger companies, you may run into this a lot. If your coworker doesn't care about work, you should isolate your work-related items from them. Do not put them in your projects. Don't offer them opportunities. Keep it social if you have to, otherwise when the strings start to tighten they may be the first out and you don't want to be affiliated with their easy-going attitude about their work.

Nobody wants to fire people if they don't have to. So that may be the reason why your coworker is still employed there. Some people are comfortable doing the bare minimum to stay employed. It's usually me

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With larger and larger companies, you may run into this a lot. If your coworker doesn't care about work, you should isolate your work-related items from them. Do not put them in your projects. Don't offer them opportunities. Keep it social if you have to, otherwise when the strings start to tighten they may be the first out and you don't want to be affiliated with their easy-going attitude about their work.

Nobody wants to fire people if they don't have to. So that may be the reason why your coworker is still employed there. Some people are comfortable doing the bare minimum to stay employed. It usually means that their job is not suitable for them and that they have to find something that interests them the most, but people can be lazy and comfortable. It is not your place to help those who will not help themselves.

The best way to help them is to be the example. Sign up for difficult projects. Challenge yourself. Get in a position to shine. Identify your strengths and weaknesses and develop those skills. Climb the ladder and show them what it takes to be successful. You will eventually get over this person unless they change their way of being.

Ask them what they hope someone with 5 years of experience can do so you can verify it against their current qualifications.

I honestly cannot tell the difference between someone who has worked in a position for four or five years. I can distinguish between an experienced worker and an inexperienced one, I use problem solving questions to explore their contingency management skills. If I know that someone can fix a particular problem my company is experiencing, I wouldn't care if the guy has 3 or 10 years of experience.

However, if the company insists, it is better to let it go. Them

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Ask them what they hope someone with 5 years of experience can do so you can verify it against their current qualifications.

I honestly cannot tell the difference between someone who has worked in a position for four or five years. I can distinguish between an experienced worker and an inexperienced one, I use problem solving questions to explore their contingency management skills. If I know that someone can fix a particular problem my company is experiencing, I wouldn't care if the guy has 3 or 10 years of experience.

However, if the company insists, it is better to let it go. Either they don't know what knowledge or skills the vacancy actually requires or they are absolutely sure that only someone with 5 years of experience can handle the problem. When was the last time we were absolutely sure of something?

It depends on how the friendship was at work. Have you ever had coworkers who started out as your friend and then found out they tried to undermine you behind your back? You have to be very careful around co-workers. There are also excellent co-workers. If you have a great friendship and then you leave ... you must FB or keep them as friends. I left the army with many friends in contact. I also left a job with coworkers who were in the drama, so I had to leave them behind. Now I have a good job and made friends with some who left. If you befriend them, make sure there is nothing to do.

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It depends on how the friendship was at work. Have you ever had coworkers who started out as your friend and then found out they tried to undermine you behind your back? You have to be very careful with co-workers. There are also excellent co-workers. If you have a great friendship and then you leave ... you must FB or keep them as friends. I left the army with many friends in contact. I also left a job with coworkers who were in the drama, so I had to leave them behind. Now I have a good job and made friends with some who left. If you befriend them, make sure there is nothing to worry about with them. Sometimes they'll ask you for favors after you leave ... like ... can you help me get the job you have? Or other favors you don't want to get involved in. If they are real friends, you will notice the difference. Don't try to hire your friends unless you know they are very good workers because your reputation will be at stake. If none of this is a problem, then you can surely befriend your co-workers.

Think of it as if you are ending a new relationship with your girlfriend / boyfriend. Being honest saves everyone time. It is up to you to reveal the exact reason you are moving. But telling them why you are leaving also helps them improve.

Think of this as an opportunity to develop your manager, unless your manager is a victim of ego and self-absorbed. If your boss is a good person, he will understand.

I faced this situation with one of my friends, where he lied to the company and when his next employer found out about the background checks, it was not a good work environment for him. The term

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Think of it as if you are ending a new relationship with your girlfriend / boyfriend. Being honest saves everyone time. It is up to you to reveal the exact reason you are moving. But telling them why you are leaving also helps them improve.

Think of this as an opportunity to develop your manager, unless your manager is a victim of ego and self-absorbed. If your boss is a good person, he will understand.

I faced this situation with one of my friends, where he lied to the company and when his next employer found out about the background checks, it was not a good work environment for him. He ended up leaving that company as well.

So try to leave your current employer on good terms.

Most companies don't invest much in new candidates unless their position is too critical, so don't worry too much about losing the company, instead think about how you can make them profit from your departure. .

They are interested in your career path and how you might relate to their own or to other people they know. They want to know what other employers are hiring, if wages are increasing faster elsewhere, how companies compare, if other companies operate with less stress or more opportunities for advancement, or have newer contracts or better management. Anything they can learn that can help them in their own career or that of someone they know can be helpful. If they find out that Google is hiring on a new campus somewhere, they might decide it's a good time to buy a property there.

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They are interested in your career path and how you might relate to their own or to other people they know. They want to know what other employers are hiring, if wages are increasing faster elsewhere, how companies compare, if other companies operate with less stress or more opportunities for advancement, or have newer contracts or better management. Anything they can learn that can help them in their own career or that of someone they know can be helpful. If they find out that Google is hiring on a new campus somewhere, they might decide it's a good time to buy property in that area or sell houses. There are many angles that people can use if they know what is going on.

If I know that a coworker was fired for misrepresenting their experience, should I provide that information to someone else (for example, your next potential employer)?

As a "co-worker", you have absolutely no right to be involved in any way in your life or in your job search elsewhere.

If the person was foolish enough to put their name and contact information. in a request for reference that is unfortunate and does not use good judgment. However, what you want to do if they call you is simply say “while we're working on it…. (dept.?) I am not familiar enough with your work to offer a reference

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If I know that a coworker was fired for misrepresenting their experience, should I provide that information to someone else (for example, your next potential employer)?

As a "co-worker", you have absolutely no right to be involved in any way in your life or in your job search elsewhere.

If the person was foolish enough to put their name and contact information. in a request for reference that is unfortunate and does not use good judgment. However, what you want to do if they call you is simply say “while we're working on it…. (dept.?) I am not familiar enough with your work to offer a reference.

As mentioned above, the words you speak later could be used against you. Just don't get involved. Do not assume the role of "protector" of the interests of other companies.

Former employers also need to be very careful about any information they provide to prospective employers. Provide only a provable fact NEVER an opinion.

Lawsuits are very expensive and time consuming. A complaint is much more easily defended and therefore dismissed if you can show that what you said is fact.

I will answer from an American perspective. Other countries may be different.

Normally in the US, leaving a business is considered a confidential matter. You do not need to reveal where you are going or why you are going. It is also considered unethical for your employer to discuss these details, as they are considered a private personnel matter.

However, in today's internet age, this seems a bit strange. Everyone will know where you are going once you land. Unless you don't use LinkedIn, your employer is public knowledge anyway.

It is always difficult when your personal life flows into work, but sometimes it is unavoidable. If it were me, I would calmly take that person aside and tell them that while you may have your differences outside of work, at work your goal is to be completely professional. Make sure you are on time, do your job well, be nice to that person but maybe avoid anything else.

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